HopelessNick Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 (edited) I'm one of the quietest and shyest (only around people my age) guys you'll ever see. Have been for all my life and I'm 23. As a result, I don't have any friends I hang out with (big reason is because I hardly get out of the house). Thing is, I don't feel shy and aren't quiet until I'm actually out near someone. When I'm alone, I hype myself up so that I will talk and socialise more next time I go out. However, I go back to being quiet and shy as soon as there's someone else around. Funny thing is, I don't actually know if it's being shy because I have no fears with public speaking, and goal is to become a host or broadcaster on TV. When I was at school and uni, no one would really hang out or talk to me, but everyone was really nice to me. They kinda treated me like a little kid, always seeing if I'm alright and things like that, but that's probably I didn't talk much. I know almost everyone likes me and thinks I'm a top bloke, (I'm not talking myself up), but that's all. I don't know if you can call it depression, but I hardly shower or brush my teeth anymore cause no one will care. I dont even smell so no one noticed. Anyway, I wanted to start out fresh, so I got a job out in a country town where I don't know anyone. There a few clubs around with dance floors. I don't know anyone my age in town, so I'm scared to go out to the clubs alone and talk to people. I really want to just go to the clubs and start talking to people, but I haven't done so because I know it'd be too awkward and I'd end up sitting alone watching TV or being on my phone. I've been looking online to see what mental illness I fall under, but can't find any. Anyway, I'm looking for suggestions as to how I can make friends with people in the town. Cheers. Edited December 21, 2018 by HopelessNick Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Start with your interests, identify them and search for groups or clubs based on these interests. Be yourself, try not to be something you aren't, in other words don't try to hard let your interactions occur naturally. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Like you, in my youth I was super shy. In fact at times it actually hurt, some body would say something to me and I would blush, and feel a wave of heat rush through my body. Though, at the same time, I worked the cash register, and took orders at a fast food hamburger joint. And talking to people there did not bother me. And that was part of my getting over it. I began by talking to the check out gals, the girls who run the cash register at the grocery store, sporting good store, bank tellers, etc. Stuff like, "nice weather we are having" "Yes, if it keeps up I might try fishing this weekend" Just general chit chat, over time I would learn about their kids, dogs cats, etc. In short I was learning how to talk to a stranger. So fast forward in time, I would meet a new gal and be able to easily talk with her, which would sometimes lead to us dating. In fact sitting on our couch is a gal I met 25 years ago, when I stopped in a convenience store one night after work for a soda pop. My first thought when I met her was, there is a face I could kiss good morning to the for the rest of my life, oh and look at them legs. Have been getting good morning kisses for 24 years. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Ask people questions. Let them talk about themselves. Most people are selfish and willing to talk about themselves a lot! So just let them talk and be a good listener then ask more questions to find out more about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 If you're new in town, start with your neighbors. Introduce yourself then start being neighborly. At work, start being friends with coworkers. Hobbies, taking a class, make friends there. Approaching strangers is pretty much the last thing people do when trying to make new friends. That would be really weird. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Australian country town. Are you sporty? Joining the local team would be a good start. Or what about volunteering in the Rural Fire Service or State Emergency Service? And any of the three would naturally lead you to the local pub where you'd get to know more people. Link to post Share on other sites
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