bell8102 Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 I am 24 hub is 29 our dauther is 3. Married for 1 year together for 4. It seems like when were out I try to hold his hand and he says something like oh your squeezing my hand too hard.(mind you he is a joker most of the time) or just pulling away from me in general. Sometimes he will try to hold my hand again in which case i am usually hurt. Other times he wont try to hold my hands. Sex has been few and far between lately. I have tried to start it and it never works out i get left feeling rejected. We dont really argue alot so thats not it. I got upset the other day because he kept staring at some lady while i was trying to talk to him it was so bad i almost had to wipe the drool from his mouth. That left me totally feeling like i need more from him.Dunno kinda feel lonely being here because i have no real intimate connection. Why do you think hes pulling away from me? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Well... IMO it isn't a good sign when your SO doesn't want to hold your hand in public.. OR when entering a room (where others are present) that they drop your hand.. to me that signals "I'm not here with anyone" OR "I'm not with her/him" Because you said your Hubby was staring like a jackass at some other Woman (I'll assume in public) I guess it would make me wonder IF that is the signal your husband is trying to send to people.. that he isn't taken. At 29 he should still be very sexually active.. so with that I'll go out on a limb and ask you when was the last time you and your husband had a night to yourselves just the 2 of you without your daughter? It can be easy to get caught up in life... the house, the bills, the kiddo's and FORGET why you're with your SO to begin with.. life can become hum drum if you allow it... Get a sitter for your daughter, spend a night out with your husband or a weekend and reconnect... kick things up a notch.. see what happens. Hang in there and hope it gets better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Bell: Soon after our second child was born, I noticed my husband doing the same thing. It left me feeling hurt, resentful and lonely. Even though I would try to talk to him about it, he didn't "get it," so our marriage went downhill from there. So, from experience, I would say you MUST talk to him (and hopefully he'll listen). Tell him how you feel when he pulls away from you. If you allow these feelings to form a life of their own, the marriage will not be what it could be and "until death do us part" will feel like a life-sucking eternity. When you tell him how you feel, you will be putting the ball in his court. It will be up to him how he directs any changes in how he relates to you. Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 I am 24 hub is 29 our dauther is 3. Married for 1 year together for 4. It seems like when were out I try to hold his hand and he says something like oh your squeezing my hand too hard.(mind you he is a joker most of the time) or just pulling away from me in general. Sometimes he will try to hold my hand again in which case i am usually hurt. Other times he wont try to hold my hands. Sex has been few and far between lately. I have tried to start it and it never works out i get left feeling rejected. We dont really argue alot so thats not it. I got upset the other day because he kept staring at some lady while i was trying to talk to him it was so bad i almost had to wipe the drool from his mouth. That left me totally feeling like i need more from him.Dunno kinda feel lonely being here because i have no real intimate connection. Why do you think hes pulling away from me? Do you think you are being a little too overemotional about this? I mean, you say he is a jokester and you do not fight; and sex is still in the relationship; albeit diminisihed. And this whole thing about him staring at another woman is a man's nature to appreciate a good looking woman...they are hard to miss. I am sure if Brad Pitt was to walk by in a tanktop and boardshorts that you would have just as much drool coming out the side of your mouth. I am not excusing his behavior, I am just trying to point out that you may be making this more than it may be. Just talk to the guy and tell him that you miss holding hands with him and that you would like to spice it up more in the bedroom....a trip to Victoria Secret or Fredericks would definitely spice thngs up. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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