30 year old guy - no idea how to meet women

[BassNectar]

I tried online dating and it was absolutely terrible - very humbling experience. I think the issue is the women I want are probably the most desirable demographic out there (I like mid to late 20s women, in good shape, no kids - which so does every other man on the planet) and I'm just not good looking enough in pictures to stand out among ferocious competition. I'm good looking in real life but I'm not photogenic so I'm guessing I only come across as decent in pictures and women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them. Overall a very humbling, confidence destroying experience.

 

 

So what are my other options? I try to make friend everywhere I go but I don't meet anybody I like through friends. Bars and clubs are very difficult and I don't meet women in any other part of my daily routine. Do I just need to ask out women anywhere I see and stop waiting for the perfect opportunity?

 

 

I just can't get over the intense anxiety of having to approach a woman at a gym or a store or something. All I can think off is a very nasty horrible outcome. In my head, most women don't want to meet a man in a random situation so I'm just annoying the hell out of them.

Edited December 22, 2018 by BassNectar

[Cersei]

This is just such a common question. Be sure to tell your friends that you are interested in meeting any single girls they may know.

[BassNectar]

This is just such a common question. Be sure to tell your friends that you are interested in meeting any single girls they may know.

 

nobody knows any single women so that's out. What's next step?

 

- Online dating - not an option because I'm not a male model. That's about what you need to get dates with decent looking, in shape, childless women in their late 20s from match or tinder or OKC.

- Friends - not an option. No matter how many new people I meet, nobody knows any women who fit my type

- Work - not an option

 

 

i'm so unbelievably frustrated by this and especially because there doesn't seem to be any real solution.

[Interstellar]

You have to spend money on a professional photographer my friend.

 

Just keep it simple. One picture of you in a suit and the other in a casual collared shirt. And smile.

 

I don’t think I’m photogenic either so there you go.

[BassNectar]

You have to spend money on a professional photographer my friend.

 

Just keep it simple. One picture of you in a suit and the other in a casual collared shirt. And smile.

 

I don’t think I’m photogenic either so there you go.

 

 

are you a guy or girl?

 

 

has this worked out for you?

[Garcon1986]

My dating started out as an angry Asian dude protesting poor treatment by women.

 

I've now had more spectacular dates with stunning women than I could have ever dreamed of. But that came through long years of dating people who I was not compatible with. You have to be determined to change or at least improve to be the best version of yourself you can be.

 

The only way to fix this is to devote yourself to the training like a religion. Being more extroverted is the first step and it can be trained.

 

1. Step one - portray yourself at all times in the most well dressed, fashionable man you can be. Ask your salon's advice on what is the most physically attractive haircut that will go with your head. Use gel if needed. Physical attraction cuts both ways. You may be able to attract a hot girl, but you must accept that certain hot girls will never date you no matter what redeeming qualities you have because you are NOT THEIR TYPE.

 

2. Step two - portray yourself socially amongst women as a relaxed and easygoing man, who is willing to have a fun conversation. You must beat the stereotype that you are shy, and can only have certain kinds of conversation, regardless of the fact that women unfairly apply the stereotype through no fault of yours.

 

3. Step three - surround yourself with hobbies that you enjoy, which women simultaneously enjoy.

 

4. Step four - spend at least 1 month of solidly talking to a different woman every day, and get over the "stagefright" of approaching a woman you like. You should also spend time getting friendly with women, solely for the friendship, without worrying about fighting the friendzone. The idea behind doing this is to be comfortable in your own skin around attractive women. Failing to do this step proficiently will result in you losing your opportunity once a spectacular woman comes your way, because you will be rejected for being weird. If you are a consumer of porn, it needs to stop right now. It will be like trying to come off heroin - but if you choose to continue porn, a real relationship will be like trying to taste Italian spice after eating tacos with spicy red hot sauce - like an effing candle compared to a blowtorch. You will have such distorted views of women that dating will be meaningless.

 

 

At this point, you stop and pause for a moment - you are about to jump into dating. If you were not totally comfortable in stage 4, you need to spend an additional month doing it until you are comfortable. Secondly - women will operate in the dating scene based upon what feels right - not based upon what logically is correct or what a man's internal rubric says they should do. Women will do irrational things to you based upon what feels right or wrong at the time, it's a fact of life.

 

5. Step five - take notes on women around you who show you indicators of interest (playing with their hair around you, a sustained smile, sustained eye contact, asking to be with you, etc etc). Focus initially on the women who like you, and now ask a few of them out on a date. If that particular woman likes you a lot, go ahead, be a man, and kiss her on the way home. Focus on the difference between an interview, a date, normal conversation, and flirting conversation. Focus on the fact that you are getting experience. Don't go for your favorite spectacular woman just yet. Take a step back, smell the roses, and congratulate yourself on some good dating experiences at this point. If you have sex, wonderful. Mentally step back and take in the experience.

 

6. Step six - now go ask out your favorite woman and see how it goes. If it fails, rinse, repeat, try again. Never fail in your determination, and try not to get too depressed from rejection. It happens to everybody - keep your head up and use Loveshack as a sounding board.

 

 

That's the summary of thousands of dating coaches advice. That's really all there is to it. Hot guys have it easier because women's defenses are lowered, they have lots of charm, and less hoops need to be jumped. But for everybody else - we follow steps 1-6.

[BassNectar]

<SNIP>

 

At this point, you stop and pause for a moment - you are about to jump into dating. If you were not totally comfortable in stage 4, you need to spend an additional month doing it until you are comfortable. Secondly - women will operate in the dating scene based upon what feels right - not based upon what logically is correct or what a man's internal rubric says they should do. Women will do irrational things to you based upon what feels right or wrong at the time, it's a fact of life. <SNIP>

 

 

Ok, good post, so here we go

 

I'm 5'10 195. I'm middle eastern but I look Spanish or Puerto Rican. Thankfully I look very masculine in the face. I dress extremely sharp/work out with heavy weights 6 days a week. I get complimented a lot in real life

 

I go out to bars, clubs, restaurants, concerts, sports events, festivals, vacation 10+ times a year (NYC, miami, etc....). I make a lot of friends but I DON'T meet women through my friends at all, it's very frustrating. My only way to meet women is to cold approach random women and that seems incredibly difficult. I just can't make myself cold approach at concerts and bars. In my head, women never want to meet anybody and I'm annoying them to death if I approach them.

 

What's your advice for me? I'm good looking and extremely successful but I still find dating to be incredibly difficult.

 

Also I love women at gyms but how in the hell can I approach those women? I feel like they will have impossible standards and only want a man who is a 6'3 male model. I feel like I'm annoying them to death if I ask them out.

Edited December 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Garcon1986]

It's hard but you have to begin with an abundance mindset, plus the mindset that if women are going to hurt you, the worst they can do is say some nasty words. I would not go to approach women in the gym because they have the highest defenses there - you don't want to become a sexual harassment statistic. You need extremely fine tuned game if you want to approach women there.

 

I would start cold approaching women at an extracurricular activity you like, and you have to generally take the initiative - because one of the first things women are searching for is confidence. I suggest a scene you are comfortable with so you can get the "home turf advantage". Women mostly aren't going to approach you because (A) they look for confidence, (B) there is a thing called female on female slutshaming and they don't want to gain a bad reputation and © they are trained to be indirect. You should simultaneously peoplewatch and watch for indirect indicators of interest. Approach the women who sustain eye contact with you, spontaneously smile at you, or who display open body language to you. If you don't know what to say first, you should make an observation about your environment and then expand on it. Even if your first success is a little one like talking about the weather, it's a success.

[BassNectar]

It's hard but you have to begin with an abundance mindset, plus the mindset that if women are going to hurt you, the worst they can do is say some nasty words. I would not go to approach women in the gym because they have the highest defenses there - you don't want to become a sexual harassment statistic. You need extremely fine tuned game if you want to approach women there.

 

I would start cold approaching women at an extracurricular activity you like, and you have to generally take the initiative - because one of the first things women are searching for is confidence. I suggest a scene you are comfortable with so you can get the "home turf advantage". Women mostly aren't going to approach you because (A) they look for confidence, (B) there is a thing called female on female slutshaming and they don't want to gain a bad reputation and © they are trained to be indirect. You should simultaneously peoplewatch and watch for indirect indicators of interest. Approach the women who sustain eye contact with you, spontaneously smile at you, or who display open body language to you. If you don't know what to say first, you should make an observation about your environment and then expand on it. Even if your first success is a little one like talking about the weather, it's a success.

 

 

I like beautiful women who workout with weights and it's very hard to find outside of the gym

 

 

Also what can I do in winter time when I'm not doing much in terms of extra curricular activities?

[Garcon1986]

Everyone likes hot women, that doesn't make you any different than any other warm blooded human male

 

Hot women are literally chased from sunup to sundown by hungry guys hunting for vajayjay. Women most commonly go to the gym to workout. Many women are trained, and I mean trained well, to shut down men who talk to them at gyms. Any attempt to force an interaction will result in a sexual harassment allegation or worse a lawsuit. If you are not naturally good at talking to women in a manner which makes them instantly at ease with you, this approach is highly discouraged. You are directly fighting against feminists, #metoo supporters, and jaded women who unfairly apply disgusting stereotypes to all men.

 

If you insist on picking women who are hot and in a workout setting, I would suggest joining a sports club in which working out is included, but is naturally designed to make talking a necessity - such as an Israeli Krav Maga joint. Then you can build confidence and social skills that are necessary to pick up women at the gym. Alternatively go to a gym course where there is a natural opportunity to talk.

 

Remember, hot women are jaded from fighting off men giving unwanted advances all day. You know what women gossip about? Every single creepy man who ever approached them. You'll get unfairly labeled with a stereotype, and your name will be blocked from an entire social circle if you approach a woman at a gym in a way she doesn't approve of, and at worse, legally trespassed from that gym with police enforcement. You'll have to be simultaneously charming and be able to separate yourself from the crowd to seek out that hot Lara Croft character that you want so much. Starting on an easier goal like joining a sports club with workouts that are included is a much easier first goal.

[gaius]

I would suggest a) working on your wit and charm, becoming a more interesting conversationalist. The options out there for most women, even the hot ones, are actually pretty wretched so if you're not bad looking, have a job and can hold a fun and interesting conversation they'll be interested. Even a gremlin could make it in OLD if he knows what he's doing in that regard.

 

b) stop getting ahead of yourself. If you see a girl you like somewhere just talk to her. Don't worry about who she wants to date because you don't even know if she's married, single, lesbian or whatever. You two might have horrible chemistry even though she's physically attractive. First worry about determining all that before you worry about dating her. And that's usually done by a) being witty and charming and initiating an interesting and fun conversation.

[Gretchen12]

I get approached by men regularly, depending on location. In a big city it's a few times a month. In a bar it can be a few times a night. I'm not what you'd call hot, I'm average and so are most men. The men never seem nervous, and it doesn't annoy me.

It seems to me there are men like you who don't cold approach women, while many other men do it all the time. It's not super smooth men approaching hot women. It's just average people, sincere greetings and conversation. If the guy puts on an act as if he's in a movie then yeah that's weird.

[BassNectar]

I get approached by men regularly, depending on location. In a big city it's a few times a month. In a bar it can be a few times a night. I'm not what you'd call hot, I'm average and so are most men. The men never seem nervous, and it doesn't annoy me.

It seems to me there are men like you who don't cold approach women, while many other men do it all the time. It's not super smooth men approaching hot women. It's just average people, sincere greetings and conversation. If the guy puts on an act as if he's in a movie then yeah that's weird.

 

so you would date a man who approached you at a store or a gym or something?

 

 

this is my biggest problem. I'm incredibly defeatist and negative. I really am a pretty decent catch - I'm in shape, I have a great lifestyle, I'm very loyal and caring. I have a good mix of superficial and character traits. I just can't get it out of my head to not be so defeatist

Edited December 22, 2018 by BassNectar

[sabaton]

I tried online dating and it was absolutely terrible - very humbling experience (I like mid to late 20s women

Yeah, you and almost every other man alive.

 

. I think the issue is the women I want are probably the most desirable demographic out there

The most desirable female demographic consists of women who are in their early 20s, with men whose age ranging from 18 to 60 having an overwhelming preference for women who are 21 years old, although this one study in particular seems to say women peak at 18, and men at 50(Men peak at the age of 22).

 

- In the study, men’s desirability peaks at age 50. But women’s desirability starts high at age 18 and falls throughout their lifespan.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/

 

Now, the reason for those preferences is that women in their late teens and early 20s are fit, pretty, have high levels of fertility, got no emotional baggage, little to no stds, and they don't have children yet. They're also - many of them - looking for fun and not looking for marriage, which is a plus for a quite considerable amount of men.

 

The reason why you see studies claiming that women prefer men in their 30s, 40s and 50s over younger men is due to the fact that at that age, if the men have never been married, they're more likely to have money and their own houses, whereas the young men have the looks and the body but are more broke than the Greek economy back in 2009, and are living with roomates well into their late/early 30s. It's worse if you are in Italy.

 

in good shape, no kids - which so does every other man on the planet) and I'm just not good looking enough in pictures to stand out among ferocious competition.

There you go. If you can't compete with young, good-looking, fit men who are obviously what those young women want there is no point in you trying if you can't compete with them.

 

I'm good looking in real life but I'm not photogenic so I'm guessing I only come across as decent in pictures and women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them. Overall a very humbling, confidence destroying experience.

Are you good looking by the standards of attractive young women, or are you good-looking by the standards of your family? If you are good-looking how come you're 30 and you're terrible with women? Attractive men start getting female attention by the time both the guys and the women reach puberty.

 

Are you shy? Home schooled? Did you go to a sausage festival school aka engineering classes and because of that you never got to interact much with young women?

 

So what are my other options? I try to make friend everywhere I go but I don't meet anybody I like through friends. Bars and clubs are very difficult and I don't meet women in any other part of my daily routine. Do I just need to ask out women anywhere I see and stop waiting for the perfect opportunity?

Are you sexually active? If you are still a virgin my advice is for you to fly to Nevada and book an hour(or a night)with an experienced escort for you to get over that hump. Attractive women are people. They aren't Disney Princess that are only interested in Prince Charming. Of course you gotta have something to offer, but don't pedestalize them.

 

 

I dunno. You have friends, I'm guessing? They know you are single? Do they know you are interested in dating? Of course with your requirements in women your friends, especially your female friends are going to be reluctant in introducing you to women but hey it ain't gonna hurt to try.

 

I just can't get over the intense anxiety of having to approach a woman at a gym or a store or something. All I can think off is a very nasty horrible outcome.

Women at the gym just want to be left alone for the most part, they're there to work on themselves. They aren't there to be approached. Also, attractive women get approached some like 10 to 20 times a day by different guys, so what you oughta do is to wait until a woman you find attractive sends you signals of interest and then you make your move.

 

In my head, most women don't want to meet a man in a random situation so I'm just annoying the hell out of them.

Most women are open to being approached by a man they find to be attractive in a random location, as long as they're open to dating/hooking up at that time, yes.

 

How do you figure a woman is attracted to you? Well, that's easy. She checks you out, smiles at you, plays with her hair or neck while smiling and looking at you. She seems to be nervous in a positive way when she's near you, and so on and on.

 

Good luck, and don't give up. You might have to lower your standards if what you offer ain't what attractive young women without kids are looking for but hey, mankind has been lowering their standards to get laid/married since the first homo sapiens sapiens left the caves so, that's life bro.

Edited December 22, 2018 by sabaton

[Gretchen12]

so you would date a man who approached you at a store or a gym or something?

 

Yeah I have. Why not?

[Garcon1986]

In order to defeat defeatism, you have to be the one to nudge yourself to jump off the deep end and start approaching.

[BassNectar]

<SNIP>

 

Most women are open to being approached by a man they find to be attractive in a random location, as long as they're open to dating/hooking up at that time, yes.

 

<SNIP>

 

You asked tons of questions so I'll try to answer all of them

 

I'm 30

In very good shape (5'10 195 muscular and lean - look sorta like a football linebacker)

I'm good looking in the face but it doesn't come across that great in pictures. I'm probably like a 7.5 in face but probably 6.5 in pictures

I make around 150K and have my own house and luxury car

I'm looking for women around 25-30 who want marriage and kids (as I do also)

I've slept with maybe 15 women but none of them were what I wanted (either had kids or not in shape or just not attractive)

None of my friends know anybody my type

I was fat in high school and I didn't develop my good looks until late college/after college

 

I'm mostly into ethnic women (I like Latinas and Italians as I'm dark skinned myself) around 25-30 who are heavily into working out, no kids, decent personality, come from good family, etc...

 

I should mention I get some female attention but nobody who is my type. I have a friend of a friend who is dying to be with me but she is overweight and I just can't do the overweight thing. I've tried in the past and it doesn't work for me. I wish I could cause she's an awesome person. I get approached here and there by women over 30 also and I just can't do that either as I don't want to date a single mom and also I don't want kids for maybe 5 or 6 years. I realistically need somebody around 26-27.

 

If I can't approach women in the gym, what's my other option if I want a girlfriend who is heavily into working out with weights?

Edited December 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Garcon1986]

If you want gym women, go to gym classes where there is a natural opportunity to talk. Going to a standard gym risks sexual harassment allegations and tons of rejections because women there are jaded from rejecting men day in and day out.

[sabaton]

I'm 30

In very good shape (5'10 195 muscular and lean - look sorta like a football linebacker)

So your body is far better-looking and in a much better shape than the body most men have. That's good, that gives you an advantage.

 

I'm good looking in the face but it doesn't come across that great in pictures.

Are you looking for women online? If you're using okcupid, be warned that women over there find 80% of the men to be below average.

Tinder is a good bet for physically attractive men. You got that checkbox filled, and you can use tinder as a pratice tool to learn how to flirt and to feel comfortable talking to women, even if those women are behind a phone's screen, but take into account that there's a lot more men on tinder trying to get laid than there are girls, and any girl there is going to have her fill of hot guys if she wants to.

 

Hire a professional photographer, get yourself a nice little spa time, ask the hairdresser for tips on how to style your hair, get yourself an haircut that flatters you, and then use the best photographs the photogapher took of you(take many, to have from which to choose).

 

Professional photographers are expensive but they're worth it.

 

I'm probably like a 7.5 in face but probably 6.5 in pictures

Yes, you need to maximize your strengths. If you are nearly an 8, that measn you're 2 points removed of being a 10. There are very few men alive who are above a 5, that works in your favor.

 

I make around 150K and have my own house and luxury car

I'm looking for women around 25-30 who want marriage and kids (as I do also)

Good-looking, muscular, with a good paying job(you are in the top echelons of incomers) and with a good college degree, your own house already, and a great car. Bro, your problem is not physical. Most women are going to consider you to be hot and to be very eligible as a potential husband.

 

I've slept with maybe 15 women but none of them were what I wanted (either had kids or not in shape or just not attractive)

We all make mistakes, especially when we are young and horny. Forget about that. You need to concentrate on your future, and man you do have a bright future ahead of you. There is no reason for you to lower your standards(just don't expect a 18 year old Alessandra Ambrosio) to get what you are looking for.

 

I was fat in high school and I didn't develop my good looks until late college/after college

Yeah, that's what I was thinking about. Men who were unattractive and then become sexually attractive carry into their adult years their low self-esteem, low confidence and they believe that they aren't good enough for hot, young women to want to sleep with or to be in a relationship with.

 

It can take years for you to dissolve those emotional and mental blocks on your own. Have you ever considered professional help? A therapist could help you quite a bit, I'm sure.

 

I'm mostly into ethnic women (I like Latinas and Italians as I'm dark skinned myself) around 25-30 who are heavily into working out, no kids, decent personality, come from good family, etc...

Oh yeah, those women are in very high demand are going to be either extremely picky, or they're going to never be single for long, making it harder for you to meet them in a dating context.

 

I should mention I get some female attention but nobody who is my type. I have a friend of a friend who is dying to be with me but she is overweight and I just can't do the overweight thing. I've tried in the past and it doesn't work for me. I wish I could cause she's an awesome person. I get approached here and there by women over 30 also and I just can't do that either as I don't want to date a single mom and also I don't want kids for maybe 5 or 6 years. I realistically need somebody around 26-27.

Most people in the Anglo-Saxon Countries are obese to overweight, with overweight being considered obese in several Countries, this in turn is going to make it rather hard for you to find a hot young woman who has her life all straight on, someone who has never been married, someone who doesn't have kids and who wants to wait years before having kids.

 

Don't think that it's just you that is in that situation, of sleeping with unattractive women, despite being better-looking and in better-shape than most men. I have a friend who is 6'6'' 240lbs of lean body mass at 9% a face like a young Carey Grant and most of the women he's slept with were overweight, not his type etc.

 

Now, here's the thing. Are you 100% only interested in dating and marrying women in your Country?

 

When I was 18 I moved from the US to Europe. I did this mostly because I didn't want to sell a kidney to be able to afford college, but then I realized that the colleges were populated by something like 90% women, with the majority of the women being naturally thin, pretty, feminine, and open to being chatted up by pretty much anyone, I decided that Europe is my city lmaoo.

 

You are way hotter than me. I'm 5'7'' and only 145lbs at 10% body fat when I'm too lazy to go out for a walk, and slightly lower than that body fat when I go back to playing soccer again, and despite the fact that my body type and height is considered to be average(these guys are short), I slept with more attractive girls in just one year of college than in all of my years of junior high school + high school put together.

 

After college I stuck around, and now I live not even 2 minutes away from the beach by walking, most of the women are 18-25, and like I said they're nearly all conventionally attractive. There's also 3 times more young women than there are young men, and despite being 29 I can still manage to sleep with women who are 11 years younger than me, despite the fact that I make minimum wage and there's hotter, young men around.

 

I went from having to compete with every guy and his brothers and his grandaddy for the very few girls who were attractive, to actually being able of picking young, attractive women who are sexually attracted to me, and it went as far as being able of sitting around and waiting to get approached by those same women, because when most women are beautiful beauty becomes commonplace and not even half as valuable as it is back in the states, and they can no longer expect a man to approach them/date them/pay for the dates/wait for sex.

 

You like Italian women? Visit Greece. There's tons of hot young women coming in from all over Europe, and with your looks, your body, and your income it won't really take long for lots of women to want you.

 

You can also replace Greece with Italy, Portugal, Spain, Turkey, and the results are still the same. And what baffles me is that these women are 5'8''+ and they don't even care that the guy is either their same height or shorter. Amazing.

Edited December 22, 2018 by sabaton

[alphamale]

so what is your question?

[BassNectar]

Are you looking for women online? If you're using okcupid, be warned that women over there find 80% of the men to be below average.

<SNIP>

 

 

I really want somebody who lives close to me. It's just not a long term real marriage prospect to date someone from different country. I'm not trying to just get laid

 

When I go out to bars and clubs, I feel like I'm in the top 5 or 10% of men there in terms of face - masculine body - dressing very upscale and fashionable. I am just way too scared to approach. I feel like dating is impossible and I can't make myself good enough to approach these women to date me

 

 

It's like I'm very proud of myself for what I've accomplished but I can't stop feeling incredibly hopeless

Edited December 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BassNectar]

so what is your question?

 

 

my main problem is I just don't meet women in my daily routine. I don't meet women through friends or work. I'm not good looking enough in pictures for online dating - you have to be a male model to be good enough for attractive childless women my age who are into working out on dating sites.

 

I have to cold approach to get anybody decent and it's just incredibly daunting approaching women at bars and gyms

 

I like ethnic women (Italian, Latin, Greek, etc...) in great shape around 23 to 30 with no kids and quality personality/character, classy, come from good family, etc...

Edited December 22, 2018 by BassNectar

[elaine567]

I think you again are exemplifying the age old problem of men with dating issues, feeling entitled to the cream of the crop.

You can covet that top dollar house for as long as you like but if essentially you cannot afford it, you have either to go out and earn the money or you have to accept that top dollar homes are simply out of your league.

[BassNectar]

I think you again are exemplifying the age old problem of men with dating issues, feeling entitled to the cream of the crop.

You can covet that top dollar house for as long as you like but if essentially you cannot afford it, you have either to go out and earn the money or you have to accept that top dollar homes are simply out of your league.

 

 

I ask for nothing I don't provide myself

 

I'm in really great shape, make a great income, come from a great family, am intelligent and educated. I'm also asking for someone roughly my age

 

I'm not a fat old guy asking for a 22 year old

[d0nnivain]

my main problem is I just don't meet women in my daily routine. I don't meet women through friends or work. I'm not good looking enough in pictures for online dating - you have to be a male model to be good enough for attractive childless women my age who are into working out on dating sites.

 

I have to cold approach to get anybody decent and it's just incredibly daunting approaching women at bars and gyms

 

I like ethnic women (Italian, Latin, Greek, etc...) in great shape around 23 to 30 with no kids and quality personality/character, classy, come from good family, etc...

 

 

So change up your daily routine.

 

I hated OLD. I am a woman who never had trouble meeting men in person. On OLD it was rejection after rejection & a bunch of men I'd never date otherwise. It was demoralizing.

 

I met my husband at a business card networking event so I highly recommend work related events to meet somebody. Not your company but in general.

 

Go to a chamber of commerce meeting; go to a business card exchange; attend continuing education classes in your field; attend conventions in your field.

 

Develop or pursue hobbies where you can meet people. On of my BFFs met her husband through a ski club; another met hers playing in a basketball league; another met hers playing softball.

 

Check out niche singles groups / events. There is a group by me that goes hiking. I signed up to play golf. The group matches you in a foursome. I figured even if I didn't meet the love of my life it was somebody else to play with for at least that afternoon. There are singles wine dinners, cooking classes, beer tastings etc. Whatever your interest there is probably a group that does it or you can start one.

 

Consider going speed dating. I tried it but the events kept getting cancelled because there weren't enough men signed up.

 

Take or teach a non-credit course.

 

Attend alumni events. I met a BF at homecoming event for my HS. There are also interesting people around at the football watch parties for my college.

 

Tell friends & family you are open to being fixed up. You never know who knows somebody perfect for you.

 

Try a singles cruise but you may end up with somebody who lives far away