Logo Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 When I date a woman for 5 or 6 dates, I already feel attached and it happens quickly and easily that it has recently made me feel concerned. I’m not sure how to fix that. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I’m not sure how to fix that. Any ideas? I approach every date, as if it could be the last. There are no guarantees in life and the person you are dating or even married to can decide to dump you at any point. Live in the moment, be the best person you can be and enjoy the time you get to spend with that person. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I approach every date, as if it could be the last. There are no guarantees in life and the person you are dating or even married to can decide to dump you at any point. Live in the moment, be the best person you can be and enjoy the time you get to spend with that person. Great advice! I love it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 When I date a woman for 5 or 6 dates, I already feel attached and it happens quickly and easily that it has recently made me feel concerned. I’m not sure how to fix that. Any ideas? I think you have to define "attached". After 5 or 6 dates, if things are going well there's nothing wrong with recognizing the potential and, assuming those feelings are reciprocated, being excited about the future. But if you mean you're already sizing your partner up for wedding photos, then there's an unhealthy dynamic at play that's obviously counterproductive. You can't have a relationship with someone without making yourself vulnerable. The trick is realistically managing the exposure in a healthy way that helps you get what you want... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 (edited) Your not meant or built to be seeing someone 5 or 6 times when they aren't even really the one for you anyway. l could have never done this dating thing either , dunno how people do it, l've only ever had a serious relationship with someone, anyone else l never saw again. Edited December 26, 2018 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 What helps me is finding out one thing I don't like about them to remind me that they're not perfect and focusing on my me-time or time with friends when possible. Just to remind myself that they may not be the end goal, as hard as that is on my hopeless romantic heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted December 26, 2018 Author Share Posted December 26, 2018 All great points and I appreciate your opinions. But doesn't romance get lost in the way you have described your approach. I mean, I can stay in the moment and appreciate it for what it is, but how do you balance the honeymoon period and the first stages of dating with staying grounded so as not to get carried away with your feelings toward the other person? I want things to flow naturally without having to make calculated decisions every step of the way. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 if you are finding that you are naming the kids already then you may want to slow down a little Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted December 26, 2018 Author Share Posted December 26, 2018 if you are finding that you are naming the kids already then you may want to slow down a little No. I'm definitely not doing that. I'm just thinking a couple of months down the road and saying to myself, this is nice. I like it. It could turn out to be a good relationship. Nothing as extreme as kids names or how many or what the weeding is going to be like Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 No. I'm definitely not doing that. I'm just thinking a couple of months down the road and saying to myself, this is nice. I like it. It could turn out to be a good relationship. Nothing as extreme as kids names or how many or what the weeding is going to be like just chill and go with the flow Logo, one day at a time...baby steps. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 I agree with Happy Lemming. That's how I felt when I was dating. Get the most of every date! It may be your last with this girl, yet at the same time, don't rush into sex. I did that a few times and was sorry later because I pushed it. Nothing wrong with feeling attached after 5 dates. It means you are sensitive and maybe need this woman more than you think. (Just don't act needy with her.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 I agree with Happy Lemming. That's how I felt when I was dating. Get the most of every date! It may be your last with this girl, yet at the same time, don't rush into sex. I did that a few times and was sorry later because I pushed it. Nothing wrong with feeling attached after 5 dates. It means you are sensitive and maybe need this woman more than you think. (Just don't act needy with her.) Need her more than I think meaning that her unique personality is what I like or want? Or do you mean, need as in just any woman because I’m lonely? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) I stopped seeing a woman I went on a few dates with recently because I didn’t think she brought a lot to the table. She brought some good qualities that are rare but others that weren’t. There was a dealbreaker that I didn’t see myself compromising on, but I miss being with her. The thought of never seeing her again bothers me. Edited February 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix formatting Link to post Share on other sites
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