How important a similar cultural background really is?

[edgygirl]

I've been in this country for over 10 years and this week I am going for the first time on a date with someone born in the same country as me that also has the same cultural/religious/ethnic background.

 

I never met anyone like that since moving here. We talked on the phone and it just feels so different than what I'm used to, dating people originally from here. It obviously feels familiar and comforting.

 

Usually I wouldn't specifically look for someone from my country, quite the contrary - I avoided it. I thought I'd always prefer someone more exotic, as in, not from my own country, as it always seemed more attractive to me. So I am quite surprised that the opportunity presented itself out of nowhere and it actually feels good.

 

I'm deep down conflicted as I've always avoided this kind of connection - so I hope my pre-conceptions don't get in the way of enjoying our first date this week. Any advice and thoughts on how to resolve this internally in my head? I hope my question makes sense

[Garcon1986]

I would :

 

1. Sort out if he has shared values.

2. Sort out if your immediate families have shared values.

3. Sort out if your immediate families will be involved at all in your dating life, or will be a leave them alone as long as they are happy sort of deal.

 

I have dated multiple ethnicities and the culture hasn't really mattered, I just went with the flow.

 

You can have very different cultural backgrounds and still agree on core values. It just depends on what you value in your core relationship.

[thefooloftheyear]

I find people of my same culture are usually a LOT easier to get along with...They just "get" it...There is no learning curve...

 

Now that doesn't mean that there should never be an any movement outside of that circle, but all else being equal, then its probably got a better chance of working out if the cultures are similar, especially of you come from the type of family that values traditional ways..

 

TFY

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm deep down conflicted as I've always avoided this kind of connection

 

Why?

 

My friends of different ethnicities seem happiest dating and settling down with members of their cultures. There are certainly relationships that cross borders, but most seem comfortable with their own kind...

 

Mr. Lucky

[somanymistakes]

I think some people avoid dating folks from their own background because they don't want to look limited or prejudiced. And it is a good thing to have broad horizons and at least consider the possibilities of different kinds of people.

 

However, when it comes down to it, for a lasting commitment it really helps to have shared values. And while someone from your own background is absolutely NOT guaranteed to have the same values as you, it increases the likelihood.

 

Nothing wrong with ending up with someone a lot like you!

[edgygirl]

Thanks guys. I should have made it clearer that I indeed do already (majorly) date people from the same ethnic/religious background as me in my current country. But most were born here.

 

What's different with this guy is that he was also born in the same country as me. It does make the whole thing feel quite different even though the guys I've been dating also have the same ethnicity & religion as us.