Asking about my doctor

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, VeroniqueJ said:

So...the millions upon millions of people who cheat "were married...and not interested" I guess?!

Keep telling yourself that. If you said for a specific reason, based on the evidence at hand, why my doctor's behavior makes you think that I would respect your statement more. But to state wishful thinking as a fact, when there's a lot of evidence of people cheating all over the world, well I think that's pretty silly and sounds like a knee-jerk reaction on your part.

He also complimented my tan (I forgot to mention that) among all of the other compliments he's given me. At the very LEAST he seems to have taken a keen interest in my physical appearance. Of course, I don't know his intentions but I've never had a doctor compliment me and hug me multiple times and then progress to touching my bare skin in silence without any intro or explanation.

If he has picked up on my crush I'm confused as to why he wouldn't make the exam sound more clinical, ie. now I'm going to palpate your muscles to see if an impingement is causing your pain..." That is what *I* would do if I were the object of someone's attention and trying to discourage the person.

He's married and he's your doctor.

That is a complete no go.

Have some respect for that at least.

He's friendly and processional and yes, my neck issues caused headaches and my doctor massaged a certain area (like you) without warning but i didn't think anything of it.

You need to get a control on this infatuation/obsession because your behavior and opinions regarding cheating is very inappropriate. 

You are trying to convince yourself that its OK to pursue him for an affair when it is not.

You could cost him everything but you don't seem to care about that.

You are also unnecessarily rude in your above comment.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, VeroniqueJ said:

So...the millions upon millions of people who cheat "were married...and not interested" I guess?!

Keep telling yourself that. If you said for a specific reason, based on the evidence at hand, why my doctor's behavior makes you think that I would respect your statement more. But to state wishful thinking as a fact, when there's a lot of evidence of people cheating all over the world, well I think that's pretty silly and sounds like a knee-jerk reaction on your part.

He also complimented my tan (I forgot to mention that) among all of the other compliments he's given me. At the very LEAST he seems to have taken a keen interest in my physical appearance. Of course, I don't know his intentions but I've never had a doctor compliment me and hug me multiple times and then progress to touching my bare skin in silence without any intro or explanation.

If he has picked up on my crush I'm confused as to why he wouldn't make the exam sound more clinical, ie. now I'm going to palpate your muscles to see if an impingement is causing your pain..." That is what *I* would do if I were the object of someone's attention and trying to discourage the person.

He doesn't want you.  He's trying to make you comfortable because he needs patients to keep up his standard of living for his family.  You are probably making him uncomfortable because he can tell you infatuated with him.  I doubt you are the only one.  Doctors get this all the time from lonely women.

[stillafool]

I don't know why you're so confused by all of these replies OP.

[VioletVelvet]

5 hours ago, stillafool said:

I don't know why you're so confused by all of these replies OP.

She's not confused by them.

She's just not hearing the answers she wants to: "Yes he wants you, that's apparent! Damn his wife -- he wants you!" 

She wants us to legitimize her fantasy. 

[LuckyM]

From what you have said so far, the only act he did that is unprofessional is to hug you. That is odd. Was he close to you?

Rubbing your neck is nothing. He is doing his job--man or woman no difference. Changing his ring to another hand is very peculiar and maybe just maybe he is intentionally or unintentionally sending you a signal. If you were not attracted to him, you would not care and would not be writing on LS. Looks to me that this is a fantasy in your head and you want him to want you. Normal. I have felt that way toward female nurses---but they are doing their jobs. That is ALL. Period.  The compliments are just that! Doctors have complimented me many times  and I think nothing of it. So what? Nothing wrong with a fantasy in itself. I won't warn you about an affair because I am open minded.

[VeroniqueJ]

On 1/30/2020 at 8:38 AM, LuckyM said:

From what you have said so far, the only act he did that is unprofessional is to hug you. That is odd. Was he close to you?

Rubbing your neck is nothing. He is doing his job--man or woman no difference. Changing his ring to another hand is very peculiar and maybe just maybe he is intentionally or unintentionally sending you a signal. If you were not attracted to him, you would not care and would not be writing on LS. Looks to me that this is a fantasy in your head and you want him to want you. Normal. I have felt that way toward female nurses---but they are doing their jobs. That is ALL. Period.  The compliments are just that! Doctors have complimented me many times  and I think nothing of it. So what? Nothing wrong with a fantasy in itself. I won't warn you about an affair because I am open minded.

Thank you for your feedback. He hugged me on two different appointments. The first hug he was standing over me very tall (I noticed that he puffed his chest out) and staring down at me. I was sitting and he reached down to hug me without saying a word. The second time he hugged me was the same scenario but I stood up as he was doing it. He did not hug me at subsequent (I see him every several months).

The last appointment was when he was touching my back. Just to clarify, he did not rub my neck but my upper middle back. When you say switching the ring may have been to send me a signal, what signal do you mean? 

Edited January 30, 2020 by VeroniqueJ

[JTSW]

11 hours ago, VeroniqueJ said:

When you say switching the ring may have been to send me a signal, what signal do you mean? 

I knew you would jump on that.

But LuckyM was wrong about that.

It doesn't mean anything.

He was just fiddling with his ring and I've seen so many people do it.

It's not a signal, but it's probably the opposite. Boredom.

[K.K.]

Wonder why he hugged her, if that’s true. 🤨

I don’t think I’ve ever had a doctor hug me.

Not that I don’t think it’s still some kind of pipe dream on her part, I just find that odd. 

[JTSW]

12 minutes ago, K.K. said:

Wonder why he hugged her, if that’s true. 🤨

She goes to see him regularly so he knows her pretty well by now.

[spiderowl]

His behaviour sounds rather borderline to me.  I think he is flirting and crossing the line but doing it in such a way that you are not sure if it happening.  Doctors do not usually hug patients.  The massage sounds a bit creepy.

I get the impression you like him, despite his unprofessional behaviour, but it would be very unwise to get involved with a married man and especially unwise if it is a professional who is supposed to be caring for your health.

Best to find another doctor!

 

 

[LuckyM]

You have got much feedback on this. In a way, it doesn't matter whether he is sending you signals or not.

No one can know whether it means something or Nothing.  Enough said.

From past experience, I know that logically the advice here is right---forget him now.. But if it makes you feel better

to think that he really likes you, that's okay. Just don't respond likewise.

I have been told this many times about my crushes. But crushes often die  slowly, sometimes never.

The feeling  remains like a nagging what-if thought, and it is hard to just stop it. The old saying goes

"you cannot reason someone out of something that she did not reason herself into."