Lowkey Actions to Keep Other Men Away

[Lotus_Luna]

I like the subtle actions, the little things that tells other men to stay away. Like, hand on the lower back, or taking an alpha stance behind me while I chat away. Usually I’m unaware of what he’s doing but other men will pick up on it.

 

What are some things you have done in the past to shoo away other guys that may have gone over the ladie’s head?

[alphamale]

when I am dating an attractive women it is only natural that other guys will give them attention. for most of the minor infractions I will let her handle it and I just brush it off. for major infractions (drunks, *******s, etc) I will get involved and tell them to buzz off.

[Lotus_Luna]

when I am dating an attractive women it is only natural that other guys will give them attention. for most of the minor infractions I will let her handle it and I just brush it off. for major infractions (drunks, *******s, etc) I will get involved and tell them to buzz off.

 

My husband was a smaller guy so he would be assertive verbally.

One guy was well over 6’6” and would just stand next to me, usually all the other giys in the room would stop coming by. He would give me space but after 3 or more guys would approach me, he would be at my side...

[chillii]

More interesting to me is what a chick does to keep other females away.

Seems l've never been out with a taller woman it's as if other women think they can just do what they want.

Always wondered if they'd show a bit more respect if l was with someone taller.

[Lotus_Luna]

More interesting to me is what a chick does to keep other females away.

Seems l've never been out with a taller woman it's as if other women think they can just do what they want.

Always wondered if they'd show a bit more respect if l was with someone taller.

 

I have never had an issue woth other women. Maybe my face is scary enough to keep them away?

[chillii]

hahaaaa,

 

They have no shame believe me if they think they can get away with it.

Never had a problem with guys though l think my height helps that one.

[Lotus_Luna]

hahaaaa,

 

They have no shame believe me if they think they can get away with it.

Never had a problem with guys though l think my height helps that one.

 

I think beinga bigger guy helps. Most of my ex’s were unsuccessful at keeping men away. So far the only one who managed was the tall one, but he had an intimidating presence when needed. At one event we weren’t together at the time, he watched four men approach me. Then decided that was enough, came over and just made casual conversation while standing close enough to show we were more then just friends. It worked perfectly, no one else approached the entire time.

 

Never had that work before!

[thefooloftheyear]

Its been my experience that most guys do honor a "bro code" when it comes to women that they know are taken...I cant remember a single time in my life that anyone I know deliberately went after a taken woman...Maybe there is something to the "code" or maybe its just that they fear physical harm if they decide to go there..

 

Now, I have seen women deliberately flirt with other guys to get their guy jealous or to see what his reaction would be...Most women don't do such petty crap though.. Thankfully...

 

Women on the other hand do not generally honor any code...They will go after married men, taken men, their friends men, even seen/heard of their own daughters/siblings man....For them its every woman for themselves...Not all, but ive seen it happen more times to make it more than a fluke of just coincidental..

 

TFY

[elaine567]

Don't flirt and make eye contact with other guys, make it very obvious who you are with, and stay away from guys who do not know how to behave...

[Wallysbears]

My husband put a big sparkly ring on my hand LOL

[d0nnivain]

I'm all for gallantry but it's not your SO's job to keep others away from you. You are in control of your world & your space.

 

It's very easy to give off a back off vibe. A person in a committed relationship, has no business sending out come hither signals if that person is taken. There should be no reason for an SO to have to keep people away from the person they are dating.

 

That comment about all your other EXs being unsuccessful at it, rubbed me the wrong way. Do you really need a chaperone?

[Lotus_Luna]

Don't flirt and make eye contact with other guys, make it very obvious who you are with, and stay away from guys who do not know how to behave...

 

Interesting that you put it on me.

 

Because when I’m pregnant is when I get the most attention. I dont go around looking for it.

[Lotus_Luna]

My husband put a big sparkly ring on my hand LOL

 

Two carets dosnt work either. I had several men feel they could do better and still chased me.

[stillafool]

Two carets dosnt work either. I had several men feel they could do better and still chased me.

 

Wow, sounds like you need to hire a body guard.

[PRW]

taking an alpha stance

Alpha stance!?

Sounds silly.

In other words,...posing. LOL

 

The whole thing sounds like he is there with her and is letting her lead him around the party,...not the flip of her being there with him as he leads her around the party. So he is a Beta posing as an Alpha. If he was in charge she wouldn't even be getting approached to start with.

[Lotus_Luna]

I'm all for gallantry but it's not your SO's job to keep others away from you. You are in control of your world & your space.

 

It's very easy to give off a back off vibe. A person in a committed relationship, has no business sending out come hither signals if that person is taken. There should be no reason for an SO to have to keep people away from the person they are dating.

 

That comment about all your other EXs being unsuccessful at it, rubbed me the wrong way. Do you really need a chaperone?

 

I dont require a chaperone. I’m fine making small talk, but I’m not interested so it wont go anywhere.

 

Some men hust dont stop. I had a checker at my local grocery store come on to me HARD as he was putting groceries into my car. I didnt expect it, I wasnt wven sure how to process it because it was so unexpected. But he sidnt get anywhere and I changed my shopping routine to avoid him.

 

I dont expect my partner to shoo away men, but I find how men interact with one another interesting. I never noticed what was happening.

[Lotus_Luna]

Alpha stance!?

Sounds silly.

In other words,...posing. LOL

 

The whole thing sounds like he is there with her and is letting her lead him around the party,...not the flip of her being there with him as he leads her around the party. So he is a Beta posing as an Alpha. If he was in charge she wouldn't even be getting approached to start with.

 

He wasnt one for socializing, so I was chatting away. He liked to watch me engage with other people, that was his entertainment.

[d0nnivain]

You wrote that you get the most attention when you are pregnant. I have never been pregnant so I can't speak to that. Maybe it is some Super-ego thing where the reptilian part of some men's brain wants to claim all the pregnant females to themselves, ala Animal Planet. I really don't know.

 

But for some man in a customer service situation -- the guy at the grocery store -- to make you so uncomfortable that you had to change your shopping routine that is just plain wrong. Stand up for yourself. Shoot jerks like that down hard immediately. If they don't stop you speak to a manager.

 

I had some horrible rude waiter all over me years ago in a fancy famous restaurant. A group of girl friends were on a girls' trip for my 29th birthday. The waiter was flirting & asking us tourists Qs. When he found out what I did for a living he didn't like my job & started being awful. He was rude; he threatened to spit in my food. He called me names. It was ridiculous. I asked for a manager who was flummoxed about what to do. At first the manager didn't believe me because the behavior was so outrageous. Other diners backed me up. I was there as a guest of a famous food writer & when management learned that because somebody looked up our reservation while attempting to comp my dinner the house changed it's tune immediately & the waiter was fired on the spot then our whole meal got comp'd. I didn't ask for any of that. I just wanted a different waiter & an apology. But the point is I stuck up for myself. Some man didn't do it for me. And yes, I had a long term BF that I was living with back home.

[PRW]

He wasnt one for socializing, so I was chatting away. He liked to watch me engage with other people, that was his entertainment.

I see.

Well, I don't spend much time in environments where I have to even worry about such things. I'm a few generations older,...looking more for retirement then the next big promotion.

 

But I just don't worry about it. It is accepted and known that women test men,...but men test women too. I treat it as a test of who the woman is that I'm with. I can not always be around her every minute, so I have to trust her when I am not around. If she is going to let the PUAs succeed then I want no part of her. But if we are somewhere and she tells me that some guy is bothering her,....in other words she asked for my intervention,...then I will go deal with it.

Edited December 27, 2018 by PRW

[Lotus_Luna]

I see.

Well, I don't spend much time in environments where I have to even worry about such things. I'm a few generations older,...looking more for retirement then the next big promotion.

 

But I just don't worry about it. It is accepted and known that women test men,...but men test women too. I treat it as a test of who the woman is that I'm with. I can not always be around her every minute, so I have to trust her when I am not around. If she is going to let the PUAs succeed then I want no part of her. But if we are somewhere and she tells me that some guy is bothering her,....in other words she asked for my intervention,...then I will go deal with it.

 

He knew I wasnt going anywhere. I think he just wanted others to know I wasnt available.

 

I’m friendly, I enjoy talking to men, but I dont want anyone else.

[Lotus_Luna]

You wrote that you get the most attention when you are pregnant. I have never been pregnant so I can't speak to that. Maybe it is some Super-ego thing where the reptilian part of some men's brain wants to claim all the pregnant females to themselves, ala Animal Planet. I really don't know.

 

But for some man in a customer service situation -- the guy at the grocery store -- to make you so uncomfortable that you had to change your shopping routine that is just plain wrong. Stand up for yourself. Shoot jerks like that down hard immediately. If they don't stop you speak to a manager.

 

I had some horrible rude waiter all over me years ago in a fancy famous restaurant. A group of girl friends were on a girls' trip for my 29th birthday. The waiter was flirting & asking us tourists Qs. When he found out what I did for a living he didn't like my job & started being awful. He was rude; he threatened to spit in my food. He called me names. It was ridiculous. I asked for a manager who was flummoxed about what to do. At first the manager didn't believe me because the behavior was so outrageous. Other diners backed me up. I was there as a guest of a famous food writer & when management learned that because somebody looked up our reservation while attempting to comp my dinner the house changed it's tune immediately & the waiter was fired on the spot then our whole meal got comp'd. I didn't ask for any of that. I just wanted a different waiter & an apology. But the point is I stuck up for myself. Some man didn't do it for me. And yes, I had a long term BF that I was living with back home.

 

The pregnancy thing was really uncomfortable. I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t know how to react. My guyfriends are always hyper attentive to me. But it will draw out the freaks. A lot of men are aroused by pregnancy, breastfeeding and such. With your partner its one thing, I’m open minded. With a stranger? Not so much.

 

I should have stood up to the checker. But I panicked, I didnt think anyone dound me attractive. I wasn’t expecting it. I just had a babay, I was massively overweight and he KNEW I was married... he climed he didnt.

[Els]

I would be rather appalled if my husband had such little faith in my ability to stay faithful of my own accord, that he'd feel that he needed to do things to "keep other men away".

 

 

We do act very clearly like a couple in public, but that has nothing to do with "other men" and everything to do with us enjoying our time with each other.

[Sinister]

What are some things you have done in the past to shoo away other guys that may have gone over the ladie’s head?

 

 

Honestly? Nothing.

 

 

 

If she can be swayed somehow by some D-bag she just met (at "fill in the blank" venue) then she isn't worth my time.

 

 

 

We all know by now that women test men in a variety of ways. Well, this is a very simple and extremely good test of a female.

[Kitty Tantrum]

I've always seen those small sorts of interactions (hand on lower back, standing close, etc.) as being mainly for my comfort rather than to keep other men away. I think I generally keep other men away pretty well on my own, whether my fiance is with me or not. I guess that's not exactly what you're looking for, but here are some of the things that seem to work well for me:

 

- I'm a moving target. I almost never hang around where people can approach me in the first place. When I have to go out to do anything involving people, I like to get in, do whatever I need to do, and then GTFO as quickly as I can. I've had a couple guys try to approach me in the grocery store saying something like "you look like you're on a mission!" to which I give a serious nod and keep striding forward at a measured pace, holding my shopping cart as though it were a battering ram.

 

- I think my body language in public places tends to come across as fairly aloof and on-guard. If I'm stuck in a stationary position out in public (waiting for someone or something, eating alone, etc.), I'll usually take up a post in a corner or otherwise away from the crowd where nobody can approach without me seeing them well in advance. Back straight, shoulders squared, scanning the area and mostly looking down my nose at people. Climbing a tree or traipsing off through the bushes to be out of sight is also an option if there are no corners or large objects to put my back to.

 

- I never sustain eye contact with other men. A brief glance, courteous smile, and nod of acknowledgment in passing at most.

 

- I generally dress very conservatively. No makeup. Usually dresses that cover at least shoulders and knees, nothing tight or low-cut, and unless it's really hot out I'll often add at least a half-sleeve cardigan. I've also taken to wearing a hat that covers all of my hair pretty much at all times. I'm not any kind of religious nut, but I might look like one.

 

I don't particularly TRY to do any of these things, they just come naturally to me. My exes (ex-H and ex-BF) both wanted me to dress a lot more modern and sexy, and I definitely saw a notable uptick in the number of men who would take notice and try to approach when I showed more skin, wore makeup, or wore my hair loose. I didn't like the attention, so I've embraced being seen as stodgy, severe, and anti-social.

 

If I'm out with my fiance I can relax a lot more, but we're usually holding hands or I'm glued to his side and/or hiding behind him. If it's crowded I've been known to sidle up to him and actually hide my face in the side of his jacket if it's unzipped.