Surfer Joe Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 My ex-wife's new life appears to be falling apart. We divorced in last 2015. It was her idea. She said I no longer made her happy and that she needed a new life. We have 2 kids. We have equal custody/placement. Kids are 6 and 8. She started dating a guy maybe 5 months after divorce was final and he turned out to be a creep on several different levels. It put a huge strain on our ability to co-parent. They ended up having a child together earlier this year, but things have steadily fallen apart. They had a near breakup in August. My mom found out through her mom that the boyfriend/fiance had racked up a ton of debt in her name (he has zero credit). There has been emotional abuse. The guy is basically a bump on a log. They patched it up, but in November they split again. She said she finally had enough of him pushing her and our kids around. She told him to leave (she owns the house) and had to have the police escort him out. He was supposed to be moving away on December 1st, but he's still around. He was sleeping in his car (which is in her name) in their underground parking garage for a couple of weeks and coming up to her condo to eat, shower, and so on. She still claims they're broken up, but she's giving him time to get his life together. I then find out today that she has lost her job. I don't know the details, but it was shocking. She had a job where you typically don't just get let go. My guess is that her crumbling personal life bleed over into her professional life. Meanwhile, after a couple of years of rebuilding my life - I met a great girl early this year and I'm really happy. Life as a single dad is still tough, but I feel really positive about the future. I want to stay as far away from her mess of a life as I can. It's only my business as it impacts our kids. I want the boyfriend gone because he has not been kind to my kids (especially my son). I feel bad for her that she lost her job. I can imagine how scary that would be. It all just makes me feel unsettled and I don't know why. I'd never gloat or express any glee at her misfortune. I honestly wish her happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 It all just makes me feel unsettled and I don't know why. I'd never gloat or express any glee at her misfortune. I honestly wish her happiness. Joe, you seem a little too, for lack of a better word, interested in what's going on with her. It might simply be out of habit, but I'd avoid any communication from or about her directly unrelated to your kids. I get you want to monitor the situation with your children, but it would seem that could be done at a more macro level. Glad things are going well with the new GF... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 It's only my business as it impacts our kids. Well, then it is totally your business. You say he pushed your ex-wife and your kids around. Do you mean physically? This guy is BAD NEWS and it is your parental responsibility to ensure that your kids are not around him any more. If your ex-wife chooses to keep him in her life then you should file for sole custody. It is in the kids best interest. You need to protect your kids and if their mother is putting them in danger by exposing them to this guy, then it is your duty to do all you can to prevent that. See a lawyer ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 It all just makes me feel unsettled and I don't know why. I would hazard that you feel unsettled because you sense that you're going to be called into action and you won't be able to say 'no' to your ex, the mother of your children... ...but then that's going to get in the way of your own good relationship with your girlfriend. Here again, I would offer to voice all of your concerns to your girlfriend, including that you want to be compassionate without being a push-over or your ex's 'knight on white horse'. Assure your girlfriend that you're extremely happy with her and with where you two are going...but your ex is still the mother of your children. It is a difficult situation, but, if you make your girlfriend your ally and you two put on a united front, then you'll most likely be able to find solutions that won't negatively impact your own life and progress. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 You dodged a bullet. Be happy with that. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 Is your ex-wife’s financial situation going to affect your child support payments? It must be tough for your kids to go through all this. Link to post Share on other sites
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