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Crush on a guy at my college who all girls thinks is insanely gorgeous

Katie1999

By Katie1999
in General Relationship Discussion

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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Do you know what's the best way to approach a guy who is so attractive that he is basically put on a pedestal by all girls who see him?

There is a guy like that at my college, and he has one of those "irresistible" looks (6'6 tall, very large and aesthetic muscles, large broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and so on), and I always see girls hitting on him and blushing around him - even the most popular girls, who usually have extremely high standards.

Lots of them will basically stand some distance away and gaze at him non-stop with their cutest warmest smile while playing with their hair, and some of them can stand and giggle a lot and then touch his upper body before running away laughing.

And of course, several of them will also walk up to him and tell him that he is "really hot" and ask him for a date.

 

I have always wanted to approach him myself, but there are several things that scare me a bit;

first of all, I get nervous just looking at him, since he is so attractive, and second, I feel that I would probably be really jealous around him almost all the time.

Of course, the thought of being alone with him is definitely hugely motivating, but I feel like all the jealousy would be really tough to deal with.

My strategy so far has just been to look as good as I can and stand somewhere so that he can see me, and give him repeated glances, and he does sometimes check me out a little bit, although I am not sure if he actually thinks that I am desirable or if he just thinks of me as eye candy.

 

What do you think I should do?

I would like to feel fairly sure that he would say yes if I decided to ask him for a date, but I am not sure how to figure that out...?

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I don't know I'm not a fan of going after a guy all the other girls want. Usually a guy like that probably has a gf at another school or home. If you are the insecure type it's best to pass on this guy or you will constantly be anxious.

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Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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You don't ask him out and you don't act like a giggly school girl.

 

You DO look your best, you DO make a point to be known for who you are/what you are involved in/what you stand out at (clubs, athletics, organizations you belong to) and you smile when/if you see him looking at you.

 

He has girls chasing him...so do NOT do that. Let him come to YOU.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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I don't know I'm not a fan of going after a guy all the other girls want. Usually a guy like that probably has a gf at another school or home. If you are the insecure type it's best to pass on this guy or you will constantly be anxious.

Yes, but I always think to myself that it would be so wonderful to date him and all of those things, and it's really hard to just ignore those thoughts, especially when I see him.

 

I am very shy as well, and even though I am popular, I am nowhere near as popular as him.

Edited by Katie1999
Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

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Go to events he is at and then send him a note or sit next to him. Judge his interest level in you. This is never guaranteed, and you may be potentially dealing with a guy who basks in the attention who is in reality taken. Find out ways to get to know his interests and his interest level in dating you. There are 2 billion of us dateable blokes out there, don't lose too much sleep on a single one ;)

See-Me-Feel-Me Established Member

See-Me-Feel-Me

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You've said not word one about who he is--just how he looks. My nephew is considered gorgeous. He just brought his boy friend to Christmas Eve dinner. Do yourself a favor and try to separate fantasy from the fact that reality is never that. Until he does something to show you that the person he is is worthy of attention, he's nothing but a cream puff sex fantasy.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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My advice is to not compliment him at all on his looks and do not go batting your eyelashes at him. If you ever have a legitimate reason to talk to him because of a class you share or something, don't do anything manipulative like make an excuse why you're talking to him. If he ever talks to you, just ask him about what he does, not anything about his looks. Like if you know he's good at something, appreciate him for that. Pretty men don't like steady random attention from women they haven't tried to meet any more than pretty women like random attention from men. Pretty men, in my experience, like a challenge, and believe me, if he has any desire to meet you, he is perfectly capable of walking right up to you. So my best advice is just leave him alone unless he talks to you and then be cool and not tossing out compliments or acting blushy. Just be interested in who he is if it happens. If he never notices you, then it's unlikely he'd be interested if you made the first move, especially a lame flirt move.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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You've said not word one about who he is--just how he looks. My nephew is considered gorgeous. He just brought his boy friend to Christmas Eve dinner. Do yourself a favor and try to separate fantasy from the fact that reality is never that. Until he does something to show you that the person he is is worthy of attention, he's nothing but a cream puff sex fantasy.

He seems likeable based on what I have seen of him - nothing really indicates that he is arrogant or anything like that, like for example he always gives the girls who approach him a relaxed smile and invite them to talk to him.

 

My advice is to not compliment him at all on his looks and do not go batting your eyelashes at him. If you ever have a legitimate reason to talk to him because of a class you share or something, don't do anything manipulative like make an excuse why you're talking to him. If he ever talks to you, just ask him about what he does, not anything about his looks. Like if you know he's good at something, appreciate him for that. Pretty men don't like steady random attention from women they haven't tried to meet any more than pretty women like random attention from men. Pretty men, in my experience, like a challenge, and believe me, if he has any desire to meet you, he is perfectly capable of walking right up to you. So my best advice is just leave him alone unless he talks to you and then be cool and not tossing out compliments or acting blushy. Just be interested in who he is if it happens. If he never notices you, then it's unlikely he'd be interested if you made the first move, especially a lame flirt move.

Well, I am not sure if he has noticed me, but I have seen him check out my body a bit a few times.

Not sure if this means that he welcomes an approach from me, but it is of course a good thing if he likes to look at me.

Edited by Katie1999
Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

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Frat boy types enjoy checking out women regardless. I wouldn't necessarily interpret this as he likes you as a woman just yet. You've got to figure out who he is as a lad.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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No giggling, blushing or fawning. He gets that everywhere & it's old.

 

If you have a legitimate reason to talk to him speak up but stay on point. Don't flirt. Probe his mind. Give him a reason to want to chase you.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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No giggling, blushing or fawning. He gets that everywhere & it's old.

 

If you have a legitimate reason to talk to him speak up but stay on point. Don't flirt. Probe his mind. Give him a reason to want to chase you.

Sounds good, I will try that next time I get a chance to talk to him.

 

Would that giggling/blushing behavior really get that old to him, though?

I have always assumed that he loves when girls show interest for him like that, and always boost his ego and give him incredibly easy opportunities for dates.

 

Just wondering, in case I end up acting like that myself without helping it. xP

Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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The question should have been do you just want to hook up with him or do you want to see if he has an actual interest in dating you?

 

Hook up? Flirt blatantly and make it known you want to hook up.

 

Dating? Listen to what those of us that are saying DO NOT fawn over this guy are saying.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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The question should have been do you just want to hook up with him or do you want to see if he has an actual interest in dating you?

 

Hook up? Flirt blatantly and make it known you want to hook up.

 

Dating? Listen to what those of us that are saying DO NOT fawn over this guy are saying.

Well, I will admit that I am mostly attracted to his looks at the moment, since I don't really know him yet.

 

I have been thinking of maybe flirting blatantly so that I might get a chance to start dating him, and then I could perhaps decide what to do from there...?

In that case, what's the best way to flirt blatantly?

Haha.

Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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Why don't you spend a bit more time trying to figure out who he is other than a hot body before you decide what you want to do?

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Men like a challenge. You have to worthy to be his GF if he has the pick of practically any girl on campus. He's going to want somebody who likes him for him, not just because he's handsome. You may be able to get him to have a ONS with you by flirting but I doubt he'll come back for more if you were just like every other girl.

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Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

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Sort out when he goes to an extracurricular activity that you might be interested in. Then go to it and sit next to him and talk.

 

 

In the name of your emotional well being do not hook up with this guy until you know what kind of guy he is. Don't pay the price of being used if you don't have to.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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Sort out when he goes to an extracurricular activity that you might be interested in. Then go to it and sit next to him and talk.

 

 

In the name of your emotional well being do not hook up with this guy until you know what kind of guy he is. Don't pay the price of being used if you don't have to.

Oh, yes I will try that.

I know that he is a member of a few sports teams, I am just not sure exactly where he practises them.

 

Is it alright to sit and gaze at him with a little smile the whole time while he is practising, without ever looking away?

Or would that be too much? xP

Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

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You should do better than smile at him, have a conversation with him that is longer than all your pals giggling and running away. This will make a good impression on him, that you actually spent time to sit down and know who he is.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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You should do better than smile at him, have a conversation with him that is longer than all your pals giggling and running away. This will make a good impression on him, that you actually spent time to sit down and know who he is.

Yes, I was thinking that I would sit and smile at him while he was practising, and then if he sits down somewhere I might walk up to him and sit down right next to him (close enough so that we make physical contact with each other), and compliment in on how skilled he is or something like that.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I know that he is a member of a few sports teams, I am just not sure exactly where he practises them.

 

Is it alright to sit and gaze at him with a little smile the whole time while he is practising, without ever looking away?

Or would that be too much? xP

 

Doing that will make you look like some love sick stalkery fan girl. Not attractive at all.

 

Do learn all you can about his sports of choice, his position, his stats etc. Be able to talk about the game on his level.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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He seems likeable based on what I have seen of him - nothing really indicates that he is arrogant or anything like that, like for example he always gives the girls who approach him a relaxed smile and invite them to talk to him.

 

Well, I am not sure if he has noticed me, but I have seen him check out my body a bit a few times.

Not sure if this means that he welcomes an approach from me, but it is of course a good thing if he likes to look at me.

 

He's perfectly capable of approaching you if he is interested. At least he checked you out. Now if you don't blow it by acting too accessible, he might decide to talk to you. It becomes a trust thing with good looking people. They are bored by all that attention, most of it unwanted.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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He's perfectly capable of approaching you if he is interested. At least he checked you out. Now if you don't blow it by acting too accessible, he might decide to talk to you. It becomes a trust thing with good looking people. They are bored by all that attention, most of it unwanted.

Oh okay, I guess I will try to catch his attention a few more times.

I suppose I shouldn't try too hard with that though, like deliberately showing off cleavage and dressing really tight or something like that.

 

I will admit though that it feels funny that he would get bored by the attention;

I have always assumed that he probably loves when girls make it so easy for him.

Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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Men like a challenge. They like to "chase". It is in their nature.

 

If he's a passive "come to me" and "fawn over me" type, then he's not going to be any good in the long term anyway.

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Katie1999 Member

Katie1999

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Men like a challenge. They like to "chase". It is in their nature.

 

If he's a passive "come to me" and "fawn over me" type, then he's not going to be any good in the long term anyway.

The times when I have seen him in the company of girls he has always seemed to be very dominant, in a good way - he confidently escalates their conversations and touches their arms or their waist at appropriate times while talking, he keeps eye contact without the least bit of problem until they blush and look away (it's always the girls who look away first, he never shows any signs of shyness whatsoever), and he talks with a confident, clear voice.

So those signs seem very promising.

Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

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Ask your most attractive friend how she would like to be approached by guys? Then you will get some free perspective on what it's like to be constantly chased in the dating game. It will be eye opening advice.

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