Crush on a guy at my college who all girls thinks is insanely gorgeous

[Garcon1986]

He likely has a girlfriend he is seeking, and being "won the lottery" attractive, he is playing a bit of psychology otherwise known as:

 

 

1. We chase what we can't have, and want it more, than what we can attain easily.

 

 

This applies to men and women alike. People who drool over nice houses - same idea applies to women who drool over hot men. If he started sleeping with every girl who went up to him his reputation would probably get around that he is a sleazy guy. You and your friends like him more because he maintains the air of professionalism and isn't putting his face in the next pair of boobs just because he can.

 

 

So in answer to your question, he can get female attention out of thin air because he's won the lottery and knows how to keep on playing for attention.

 

 

If you want to win him over, you have to impress him with your personality as well as your looks. He's got plenty of beautiful women, so that's now boring in his mind.

 

 

Go learn about him, firsthand. Tell us how he is, as a normal chap. We're waiting with anticipation and baded breath.

[Garcon1986]

If your nervousness is like a swimming pool, it's time for you to jump in, put those headphones on, and get to the other end. Pretend like he's one of your best girlfriends who you could chat to any day. There's no boogiemen in this swimming pool, the worst that can happen is he rejects you, and there's 1 billion more dateable men out there. There's no Yorkshire Terriers waiting to bite you.

[Katie1999]

He likely has a girlfriend he is seeking, and being "won the lottery" attractive, he is playing a bit of psychology otherwise known as:

 

 

1. We chase what we can't have, and want it more, than what we can attain easily.

 

 

This applies to men and women alike. People who drool over nice houses - same idea applies to women who drool over hot men. If he started sleeping with every girl who went up to him his reputation would probably get around that he is a sleazy guy. You and your friends like him more because he maintains the air of professionalism and isn't putting his face in the next pair of boobs just because he can.

 

 

So in answer to your question, he can get female attention out of thin air because he's won the lottery and knows how to keep on playing for attention.

 

 

If you want to win him over, you have to impress him with your personality as well as your looks. He's got plenty of beautiful women, so that's now boring in his mind.

 

 

Go learn about him, firsthand. Tell us how he is, as a normal chap. We're waiting with anticipation and baded breath.

I will definitely try to flirt with him when school starts again.

I have tried to find him on a few sites but he doesn't seem to be a member on any of them. x-/

 

But how easy would it be for him to get a girlfriend if he made absolutely no effort at all?

Like for example, if he just went to school and focused 100% on studies without trying to approach any girls at all, or even look at them?

What kind of opportunities would he get in that situation?

Just curious.

[Garcon1986]

He has to make a little effort but he is surrounded by girls, so it would be as easy as going to the market and asking for some crab cakes. Always available, always delicious. He is blessed with amazing looks so he has to make a lot less effort than me, a single Asian cardiologist in Mississippi who cares about really smart women - who is surrounded by Southern women who only want the hottest soldiers and policemen for their husbands. I can only work out, get buff, talk to women at the earliest opportunity, and learn how to make women comfortable around me. I get no female attention, so I can only sell myself on my brains.

 

 

He also knows that, if he acts like he isn't too interested, it increases the level of attraction. He's learned how to be great at dating psychology through playing it everyday.

[d0nnivain]

Katie1999

 

We're going off what you are writing. You have a crush on a gorgeous guy. You have observed other women throw themselves at him. You can't find him on social media. You don't know if he has a GF or if he wants one. For all you know at this point, he may prefer guys or he has a girl back home.

 

In short college boys who have a lot of girls throwing themselves at them, don't make much effort to get a GF because they don't want GFs. They enjoy being able to hook up with every random hottie when they want to. A GF comes with responsibility, commitment, & the obligation to say no to all the enticing offers they are getting.

 

Even if you landed this guy as your BF, the other women are not going to stop flirting with him. Are you going to be OK with that?

[Katie1999]

Katie1999

 

We're going off what you are writing. You have a crush on a gorgeous guy. You have observed other women throw themselves at him. You can't find him on social media. You don't know if he has a GF or if he wants one. For all you know at this point, he may prefer guys or he has a girl back home.

 

In short college boys who have a lot of girls throwing themselves at them, don't make much effort to get a GF because they don't want GFs. They enjoy being able to hook up with every random hottie when they want to. A GF comes with responsibility, commitment, & the obligation to say no to all the enticing offers they are getting.

 

Even if you landed this guy as your BF, the other women are not going to stop flirting with him. Are you going to be OK with that?

Oh, I don't know.

I feel like there a great risk that he has this lifestyle more or less like this:

 

1. cute girl notices him and immediately start flirting and asks him out, regardless of whether or not he seems "interesting" as a person

2. he accepts the invitation and then she immediately tries to get intimidate with him during the date

3. they go home and have steaming sex for hours

4. next day another cute girl notices him and immediately starts flirting and asks him out

5. he dumps the other girl, but she continues to flirt with him anyway and hopes that she wins him back

6. he goes out with the new girl

 

I feel like this might be more or less his life cycle if he isn't extremely picky.

Edited December 31, 2018 by Katie1999

[thefooloftheyear]

 

But how easy would it be for him to get a girlfriend if he made absolutely no effort at all?

Like for example, if he just went to school and focused 100% on studies without trying to approach any girls at all, or even look at them?

What kind of opportunities would he get in that situation?

Just curious.

 

Plenty....

 

TFY

[Garcon1986]

He likely knows he can't do that because reputations get around. He can't just sleep with everyone and maintain the same reputation.

[d0nnivain]

That probably is the cycle.

 

If you want that, by all means flirt with him & show cleavage.

 

If you want to try to break that cycle assuming he has any interest in doing something else, you will have to play a long game. That means engaging his mind & being hard to get. You have to make him want what he can't have: you. As in no sex before monogamy.

[Garcon1986]

He can play the cycle but maybe not forever Katie.

[Katie1999]

That probably is the cycle.

 

If you want that, by all means flirt with him & show cleavage.

 

If you want to try to break that cycle assuming he has any interest in doing something else, you will have to play a long game. That means engaging his mind & being hard to get. You have to make him want what he can't have: you. As in no sex before monogamy.

I guess so.

It does however feel a little scary that a cycle like that would be possible - that would mean that he could have likely had sex with over 100 girls just this year, especially if he participates in threesomes, or maybe even foursomes or fivesomes.

[Garcon1986]

It maybe scary, but you won't know this information until you meet him. Some of that perception you place about him is not real - it's what you think he's doing.

[d0nnivain]

I guess so.

It does however feel a little scary that a cycle like that would be possible - that would mean that he could have likely had sex with over 100 girls just this year, especially if he participates in threesomes, or maybe even foursomes or fivesomes.

 

Has college changed that much since I was there? Multiples were odd but not unheard of. However, hooking up with a different partner at every party was the norm not the exception for people like him. I think 100 would be a lot but 30 -- 1 each night of the weekend during a 15 week semester seems entirely plausible.

[thefooloftheyear]

I guess so.

It does however feel a little scary that a cycle like that would be possible - that would mean that he could have likely had sex with over 100 girls just this year, especially if he participates in threesomes, or maybe even foursomes or fivesomes.

 

 

That's more than likely bullshyt...holy crap...just settle down...

 

Just like every woman with a nice body or unusually large hooters, must be banging the entire football team in one night..

 

So many misconceptions and mischaracterizations...

 

Just because a guy has a lot of options, by no means does that mean he takes advantage of them....Perhaps its a poor analogy, But despite how good a nice pizza is, if you worked in a pizza shop, you probably wouldn't eat it all that much...

 

Guys that don't work hard to get women/sex aren't as nuts about it as the rest of the guys that have to seize at every opportunity that they can get..

 

Its as simple as that..

 

TFY

[amaysngrace]

Don’t go to his practice, go to his games. Guys like women who can follow sports because they see them more of a cool chick than some ditz who just lives in fantasy land.

[Katie1999]

That probably is the cycle.

 

If you want that, by all means flirt with him & show cleavage.

 

If you want to try to break that cycle assuming he has any interest in doing something else, you will have to play a long game. That means engaging his mind & being hard to get. You have to make him want what he can't have: you. As in no sex before monogamy.

Some girls seem to try to be super-sweet and super-caring around him, like show deep interest in everything he says, immediately listen intently as soon as he starts talking, and try to make sure that he feels amazing at all times and are very ready to be really really supportive if there is anything at all that troubles him.

[Garcon1986]

You could give that a try, see what you learn about him

[d0nnivain]

Some girls seem to try to be super-sweet and super-caring around him, like show deep interest in everything he says, immediately listen intently as soon as he starts talking, and try to make sure that he feels amazing at all times and are very ready to be really really supportive if there is anything at all that troubles him.

 

So what? That is still all about them giving & him taking. If you hope to be different you have to approach him with a "what are you (him) going to do for me (you)?" attitude.

[Garcon1986]

Katie, the Dalmatian wants you to be different in your approach to this

[d0nnivain]

Katie, the Dalmatian wants you to be different in your approach to this

 

I want you to be happy Katie but I don't think this guy will do anything other than break your heart.

 

It is possible to get the BMOC to date you exclusively. I have done it but you have to understand men in general, this man in particular & your own desires. Getting him into bed probably won't be that tough. Getting him to stay in your bed, will be tougher. I also have genuine concerns that even if you get to date him, that you will be driven insane by all the other girls trying to get him to pay attention to them.

[Katie1999]

I want you to be happy Katie but I don't think this guy will do anything other than break your heart.

 

It is possible to get the BMOC to date you exclusively. I have done it but you have to understand men in general, this man in particular & your own desires. Getting him into bed probably won't be that tough. Getting him to stay in your bed, will be tougher. I also have genuine concerns that even if you get to date him, that you will be driven insane by all the other girls trying to get him to pay attention to them.

Yep, that part if very frustrating.

 

I wonder how other girls do to get around this;

maybe they avoid falling in love with him and just focus completely on taking any chance they can to have sex with him, even if he jumps between different girls.

[Garcon1986]

Some women can mentally separate sex and affection in their mind, and see sex just as a rollercoaster ride for the adrenaline rush (it's more common amongst men). For those who can't separate it, that's where the emotional distress and "why didn't he love me" stuff starts.

[Katie1999]

Some women can mentally separate sex and affection in their mind, and see sex just as a rollercoaster ride for the adrenaline rush (it's more common amongst men). For those who can't separate it, that's where the emotional distress and "why didn't he love me" stuff starts.

Does this mean that lots of girls are willing to go all out with tempting him sexually and making it clear to him that they are physically available for him at all times, no matter what?

[Garcon1986]

Those women don't necessarily know this piece of wisdom of separating sex and the emotional attachment. They aren't here discussing this hot guy.

 

 

You might be humbled by one of the women who has slept with your favourite guy - ask her how she feels now, looking back on it?

 

 

You don't know they want to have sex with him no matter what right, you haven't interviewed them all? Some of those women are probably chasing him purely for the male attention and don't actually want him in their bed.

[Garcon1986]

By the way don't let woman on woman catfighting and rumor spreading rule your life, you rule your life - not your girlfriends.