What kind of guy likes a 'challenge'

[nospam99]

I was just reading another thread: young female poster discussing how to approach a really hot, young guy. A couple of the female responders repeated an assertion I've seen on LS before - that guys like a challenge.

 

I'm like 'WTF?' I'm a guy and I don't like a challenge. I'm a senior now but even in my youth I didn't like a challenge or enjoy 'the chase'. I've always been totally 'ask her out/date her if she's agreeable/forget her if she's not'. I think that a woman that makes me chase her is just an attention whore and I have no interest in that personality type. But is that me because of who I am and what I bring to the relationship table? Physically, I'm, at best below average height (5'8''). At my best physique (not in play at the moment), I had a soccer player's build - my ex wife used to say I had good broad shoulders but as a guy who admires the 'look' of pro boxers and NFL cornerbacks, I don't see why. What I see as my most attractive characteristics are intellect, communication, and enough sensitivity to show interest in my dating partners. But the 'challenge' or the 'chase'? No way!

 

Do other 'types' of guys, the Brad Pitts, Tiger Woods', Ronaldihinos, Prince Harrys of the world who have more obvious (to me) physical appeal to women like the 'challenge'? I don't know so I'm asking. If there are instead, lots of guys like me, indifferent to the challenge, I'd think that suggests different tactics to ladies who are interested in relationships with 'us'.

[Happy Lemming]

I don't know about the "chase" or the "challenge" aspect of your post, but if I asked a woman out and she said "no", I moved onto the next.

 

If I lost out on a great woman because I didn't ask her a second, third or fourth time out for a date, so be it. Plenty of women in the world to pick from.

 

In my opinion, I always thought it was bothersome or creepy to repeatedly ask someone out that said "no", so I never did it.

[gaius]

Think it's just a personality thing. Getting my wife to date and then marry me was an Olympic event but she's who I wanted, so it was worth it. Didn't wait for the first woman to come along who was instantly accepting of me, I went after the girl I wanted and took her. Even though it was a challenge. And it ended up being a real bonding experience for both of us. She feels closer to me because my desire for her is so strong. But that's the aggressive personality type.

 

You seem to be more of the sensitive type Nospam. Your partner needs to validate you right from the outset or you don't like it. Which there's nothing wrong with. But you don't like a challenge.

[nospam99]

Think it's just a personality thing. Getting my wife to date and then marry me was an Olympic event but she's who I wanted, so it was worth it. Didn't wait for the first woman to come along who was instantly accepting of me, I went after the girl I wanted and took her. Even though it was a challenge. And it ended up being a real bonding experience for both of us. She feels closer to me because my desire for her is so strong. But that's the aggressive personality type.

 

Bolded answers my title question. Alpha male personality? Does this question then become almost the same as whether particular women are or are not attracted to alpha males? Ladies?

[basil67]

As a woman, I don't understand this "challenge" thing. If I am interested, I say Yes. If I am not interested I say "No" or show little interest. I've had a couple of guys continue to chase after I've said No and find it really disrespectful on their part.

[thefooloftheyear]

I cant speak for all guys, but I lead -and always have lead, a very busy life...I wouldn't work hard for a woman...I dunno...That just seems counter productive...If she wanted to create a challenge, would think its one of two things...She only has lukewarm interest, or she likes to play games...Id not like either scenario...

 

TFY

[Lotus_Luna]

Challenge? No

Chase? Maybe

 

Men tend to act first and once they have the girl decide if they want to keep her.

 

Women dont engage inless they’re certain they want it.

 

I think both like the flirty dance, the indirect ways you signal attraction without blatantly saying it.

 

I’m not into games myself. I dont waste my time with men who are bored and looking to validate thwir egos by catching women they dont even really want.

[alphamale]

women have always come to me so I don't have to worry about "challenge"

[Interstellar]

Women are already a challenge because society dictates that the guy has to initiate, come up to her, ask for her number, ask for the date, and in every step of the way he’s risking rejection.

 

Guys don’t know how to play games, they don’t know challenge.

 

Women like the chase though, even though they don’t want to admit it lol

[loversquarrel]

If I want something I get it. I haven't had to deal with challenges, I don't really think of it much. If I like someone it doesn't matter to me if they were a perceived challenge or not.

[Gretchen12]

No you gotta back up a bit. The challenge was before he asked her out, mustering up the courage to approach and risk rejection. Look around on the forum, there are plenty of guys who find it's a challenge to talk to a girl he fancies. If a guy knows no girl ever says no, he wouldn't wonder. but that's not reality. If Brad Pitt asked me out, I'd say no.

[alphamale]

If Brad Pitt asked me out, I'd say no.

 

yeah and i'd say 'no' to a $339,000,000 lotto jackpot

[elaine567]

yeah and i'd say 'no' to a $339,000,000 lotto jackpot

 

 

I'd not say no to a $339,000,000 lotto jackpot but I would also say no to Brad Pitt.

[brigit87]

I was just reading another thread: young female poster discussing how to approach a really hot, young guy. A couple of the female responders repeated an assertion I've seen on LS before - that guys like a challenge.

 

I'm like 'WTF?' I'm a guy and I don't like a challenge. I'm a senior now but even in my youth I didn't like a challenge or enjoy 'the chase'. I've always been totally 'ask her out/date her if she's agreeable/forget her if she's not'. I think that a woman that makes me chase her is just an attention whore and I have no interest in that personality type. But is that me because of who I am and what I bring to the relationship table? Physically, I'm, at best below average height (5'8''). At my best physique (not in play at the moment), I had a soccer player's build - my ex wife used to say I had good broad shoulders but as a guy who admires the 'look' of pro boxers and NFL cornerbacks, I don't see why. What I see as my most attractive characteristics are intellect, communication, and enough sensitivity to show interest in my dating partners. But the 'challenge' or the 'chase'? No way!

 

Do other 'types' of guys, the Brad Pitts, Tiger Woods', Ronaldihinos, Prince Harrys of the world who have more obvious (to me) physical appeal to women like the 'challenge'? I don't know so I'm asking. If there are instead, lots of guys like me, indifferent to the challenge, I'd think that suggests different tactics to ladies who are interested in relationships with 'us'.

 

From my experience guys like a challenge as long as it's not too far out of their reach.

 

A smart woman knows how to play the game to get the guy interested without killing his spirit.

 

Guys tend to want what other guys want.

[Logo]

Why do women always bring up Bradd Pitt in these scenarios? And they usually say they wouldn’t date him.

[snowcones]

I believe only a small minority of guys like a challenge.

[nospam99]

I believe only a small minority of guys like a challenge.

 

OP here. That (well, that at least a lot of guys don't care for a challenge) seems to be the consensus of the totally unscientific sample of LS males posting on this thread. But enough, sez me, that I hope the ladies will stop posting the stereotype in other threads.

 

FWIW I haven't been in a locker room for decades (since the lighting was torches and the lockers were dug out of the cave walls). Times may have changed. But in those Neanderthal days, guys would talk or brag about their dating activities and sexual exploits. It was one way to establish status and pecking order. As I recall through the mists of the past, the same guys who'd talk like pump and dump playahs would be the ones who claimed to enjoy the challenge. Take that at face value and draw your own conclusion.

 

Related locker room characterization: Trump's description of locker room talk matches my own. Lebron's claim of no misogynistic chatter in NBA locker rooms strains my credulity to the breaking point.

[gaius]

They're posting that example because it's true out in the real world. LS tends to skew more toward the sensitive type of male, but when they're talking about a real hot guy that's generally not who they're talking about.

 

For example, this thread reminded me of a former poster who used to post over and over and over how hot her boyfriend was, for months on end. She finally posted a picture of them together and it looked like the guy got hit by a train. Totally average on his best day. He was hot to her because of his personality.

 

I see threads like this, where an effort is made to kind of "teach" women on here to act different, and be attracted to different things, but it's probably not going to be very effective since they're going off their own personal experiences. If the men on here want to improve their situation they're probably going to have to learn from the women, not vice versa.

[preraph]

I was just reading another thread: young female poster discussing how to approach a really hot, young guy. A couple of the female responders repeated an assertion I've seen on LS before - that guys like a challenge.

 

I'm like 'WTF?' I'm a guy and I don't like a challenge. I'm a senior now but even in my youth I didn't like a challenge or enjoy 'the chase'. I've always been totally 'ask her out/date her if she's agreeable/forget her if she's not'. I think that a woman that makes me chase her is just an attention whore and I have no interest in that personality type. But is that me because of who I am and what I bring to the relationship table? Physically, I'm, at best below average height (5'8''). At my best physique (not in play at the moment), I had a soccer player's build - my ex wife used to say I had good broad shoulders but as a guy who admires the 'look' of pro boxers and NFL cornerbacks, I don't see why. What I see as my most attractive characteristics are intellect, communication, and enough sensitivity to show interest in my dating partners. But the 'challenge' or the 'chase'? No way!

 

Do other 'types' of guys, the Brad Pitts, Tiger Woods', Ronaldihinos, Prince Harrys of the world who have more obvious (to me) physical appeal to women like the 'challenge'? I don't know so I'm asking. If there are instead, lots of guys like me, indifferent to the challenge, I'd think that suggests different tactics to ladies who are interested in relationships with 'us'.

 

Because you're constantly challenged. It's not novel to you. Only guys who have TOO much female attention want a challenge. They get weary of women throwing themselves at them. They enjoy the sex, but value it less than guys obsessed with trying to get sex for whom it's not easy. Guys who are very desireable want women who also are and who have something else going for them as well. But most of all, they want to think a woman is interested in THEM and not just their pretty face. In other words, like a lot of women wish men like them not just for their looks. They tire of women desperate to get their attention. They literally have problems getting rid of women. They're in a class by themselves, the same class extremely attractive women are in. These are pretty people's problems and don't affect the general male or female population.

 

The male fatale I knew actually grew a hideous beard to cover his best asset because he was that tired of dealing with it.

 

Another male fatale I was acquaintances with was in a band and for sex, he just avoided attachment by using strippers for sex. Then when he tired of that, he became desperate for a woman who wasn't really into him and on one of their bus tours, he found a disinterested female in a business office in a suit and got obsessed with her, worked on getting her interest (she wasn't anyone rock-y) and finally got her to date or travel with him -- but it didn't last. He literally wasn't her cup of tea, and that drove him WILD.

Edited December 30, 2018 by preraph

[brigit87]

Then when he tired of that, he became desperate for a woman who wasn't really into him and on one of their bus tours, he found a disinterested female in a business office in a suit and got obsessed with her, worked on getting her interest (she wasn't anyone rock-y) and finally got her to date or travel with him -- but it didn't last. He literally wasn't her cup of tea, and that drove him WILD.

 

LOL!

 

Yep. My experience has been guys who knew I can take them or leave them were the most attentive. So, I'm in the group of "guys like a challenge."

[littleblackheart]

Seems more like a huge ego boost to 'get the girl' for guys who aren't used to taking no for an answer, or just can't deal with rejection well, and need to do whatever it takes to turn a no into a yes.

 

They are either highly competitive (they don't care about the girl, deep down - it's all about 'winning' to them) or have no options, so they hang on to whatever they can get. Some women also like to be thought of as a 'prize' to be won and deliberately make their suitors sweat.

 

That's what I understand when someone says they 'like a challenge'.

[preraph]

I don't liken it to necessarily game playing, but more like how women are once a guy is that good looking. They get pursued constantly, sometimes by ones they may think are sexually attractive, more that they don't, and that just gets old after awhile, and they wish there was ever a VOID where they could do the picking, instead of weeding out. But mostly, a women who appreciates something more about them, of their character or their accomplishments.

[littleblackheart]

^^ Could be. My observations are a little different to yours, I guess - those very good looking men I know who have a secure, healthy ego still do the picking on their own terms.

 

Men who really 'like a challenge' never stop at one woman - it's more of a lifestyle, to them.

 

As a one-off, they just like the girl well enough to be patient and make above average effort when she is interested yet playing hard to get - that's not a challenge, that's just a happy ending, imo.

[preraph]

The male fatale I knew actually never dated a woman that I saw that was even close to him in attractiveness. He liked saving women. He intervened when a waitress's bf came to her place of work and started shoving her around, for example. He brought one out of the Ukraine during rough times to the U.S. But unlike this next guy below, this one did sleep around too. But not nearly as much as he could have.

 

One other very attractive guy I knew well did hold off and definitely did the picking, but I noticed he had to stand around with his arms crossed defensively a lot. hah. He and I went and did some things together, like concerts, in and out of town, and dinner, all his idea, but never kissed or anything. We were both kind of focused on other people at the time and also worked together. He ended up stealing my ex's (someone he'd worked in the same company as) 2nd wife, who was a psycho, bad choice. I know he did it because he was always looking for a woman who enjoyed cooking, as he enjoyed cooking, and she had gone to cooking school. I think he thought if my ex married her, she must be okay. I warned him otherwise. But he stole her and she cheated on my ex and left with him. They had a kid together and years later, she got arrested on credit card fraud and identity fraud. In fact, she had even stolen and used her son's card, that's how low she was. She was crazy.

 

So that one didn't do any overt sleeping around, but he also chose very badly. He has a hole in his ethics I always knew was there.

[fromheart]

Depends what you regard as a challenge. Life's going to get challenging enough and relationships will always be challenging. If a potential partner is challenging for the sake of being challenging, that may get boring.