What kind of guy likes a 'challenge'

[Wallysbears]

I’m one of the women that said that men like a chase.

 

But I also haven’t dated in like 10 years and wanted/was attracted to/married an alpha type man.

 

I don’t like wimpy men, overly emotional men or indecisive men.

 

I’m sort of old school and I’m 40.

 

I grew up when boys actually asked girls out on dates. And used the phone. And opened doors. And pulled out chairs.

 

 

I never asked guys out. It was unheard of. Only desperate girls did that. I wasn’t cold or bitchy or “playing games” it was just how I was raised and social “norm”.

 

Even when I did OLD, I never messaged a guy first. They’d message me. And if they’d be all about messaging and not ask for a number to call and ask me on a proper date - I’d stop responding.

 

Maybe I’m a bitch. Or whatever. I knew what kind of man I like and wanted and was very adamant I wasn’t settling for less than that. I didn’t “need” a man...I had a healthy career, social life, and lots of dating potentials. The one to take me “off the market” was going to meet high standards. And he did.

[brigit87]

I’m one of the women that said that men like a chase.

 

But I also haven’t dated in like 10 years and wanted/was attracted to/married an alpha type man.

 

I don’t like wimpy men, overly emotional men or indecisive men.

 

I’m sort of old school and I’m 40.

 

I grew up when boys actually asked girls out on dates. And used the phone. And opened doors. And pulled out chairs.

 

 

I never asked guys out. It was unheard of. Only desperate girls did that. I wasn’t cold or bitchy or “playing games” it was just how I was raised and social “norm”.

 

Even when I did OLD, I never messaged a guy first. They’d message me. And if they’d be all about messaging and not ask for a number to call and ask me on a proper date - I’d stop responding.

 

Maybe I’m a bitch. Or whatever. I knew what kind of man I like and wanted and was very adamant I wasn’t settling for less than that. I didn’t “need” a man...I had a healthy career, social life, and lots of dating potentials. The one to take me “off the market” was going to meet high standards. And he did.

 

We were raised the same. Nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like a lady. It makes life a little more fun.

[Wallysbears]

And nothing I did was a “game”

 

I said yes to a date if I was attracted to a man. I said no thank you if I wasn’t. I was polite and kind and respectful.

 

But I also wasn’t playing house, sleeping with, going to try to “fix” random men.

 

Want to live with me? Great. Put a ring on it. Otherwise, I kept my own house.

 

Want sex? Then we were exclusive because I wasn’t going to be anyone’s sloppy seconds for the night.

 

And I never initiated those conversations. Ever.

 

I also believed in dating several men at one time (dating...not sleeping with) so I wouldn’t spend energy “perseverating” over the “omg, what did XYZ mean when he said that”

 

The cream will rise to the top. And a man that is REALLY into a woman? He will lock that **** DOWN from other men and make it a point to make it known he cares about HER and doesn’t want any other dudes sniffing around his woman.

 

That’s not “game playing” in my mind. It’s being smart as a woman.

 

But others may disagree which is fine.

 

My approach has me happily married for almost a decade now

[Otter2569]

If a woman wants to be chased - buy a dog because I sure as hell am not chasing anything. I enjoy a modest progression and signs that there is interest but totally detest games or being led on.

 

Fortunately I have had several women / exGFs come back and want to "get together again" after the fact. If I ever take them up, that is all it will ever be: drinks and conversation. The look on their face as I walk them to the door is priceless! Fool me once...

[Art_Critic]

I always liked the chase, the challenge however if she played hard to get I would play a little but after a while if it got old or she wasn't coming my way I just stopped chasing...

 

Now.. a sure thing.. that was worth pursuing

[brigit87]

And nothing I did was a “game”

 

I said yes to a date if I was attracted to a man. I said no thank you if I wasn’t. I was polite and kind and respectful.

 

But I also wasn’t playing house, sleeping with, going to try to “fix” random men.

 

Want to live with me? Great. Put a ring on it. Otherwise, I kept my own house.

 

Want sex? Then we were exclusive because I wasn’t going to be anyone’s sloppy seconds for the night.

 

And I never initiated those conversations. Ever.

 

I also believed in dating several men at one time (dating...not sleeping with) so I wouldn’t spend energy “perseverating” over the “omg, what did XYZ mean when he said that”

 

The cream will rise to the top. And a man that is REALLY into a woman? He will lock that **** DOWN from other men and make it a point to make it known he cares about HER and doesn’t want any other dudes sniffing around his woman.

 

That’s not “game playing” in my mind. It’s being smart as a woman.

 

But others may disagree which is fine.

 

My approach has me happily married for almost a decade now

 

Yep. I'm happily married too. When men WANT to settle down they pick women like us and stay with women like us.

[brigit87]

If a woman wants to be chased - buy a dog because I sure as hell am not chasing anything. I enjoy a modest progression and signs that there is interest but totally detest games or being led on.

 

Fortunately I have had several women / exGFs come back and want to "get together again" after the fact. If I ever take them up, that is all it will ever be: drinks and conversation. The look on their face as I walk them to the door is priceless! Fool me once...

 

Well...that proves my point. You don't want to settle down so it doesn't really matter what men like you want. My guess is attractive and low maintenance and probably into weird sex stuff satisfies guys like you. But women who want marriage and commitment should stick to the "old ways," since they work.

[edgygirl]

Eww Brad Pitt - I'd also say no.

 

I'd not say no to a $339,000,000 lotto jackpot but I would also say no to Brad Pitt.

[littleblackheart]

And nothing I did was a “game”

 

I said yes to a date if I was attracted to a man. I said no thank you if I wasn’t. I was polite and kind and respectful.

 

But I also wasn’t playing house, sleeping with, going to try to “fix” random men.

 

Want to live with me? Great. Put a ring on it. Otherwise, I kept my own house.

 

Want sex? Then we were exclusive because I wasn’t going to be anyone’s sloppy seconds for the night.

 

And I never initiated those conversations. Ever.

 

I also believed in dating several men at one time (dating...not sleeping with) so I wouldn’t spend energy “perseverating” over the “omg, what did XYZ mean when he said that”

 

The cream will rise to the top. And a man that is REALLY into a woman? He will lock that **** DOWN from other men and make it a point to make it known he cares about HER and doesn’t want any other dudes sniffing around his woman.

 

That’s not “game playing” in my mind. It’s being smart as a woman.

 

But others may disagree which is fine.

 

My approach has me happily married for almost a decade now

 

What you describe sounds totally normal to me - having high standards (which you seem to have) is totally different to making someone 'chase' you deliberately, I guess?

 

Maybe I'm too literal but I just read the OP as those hyper competitive men going out of their way to prove their 'manliness' (?) by trying to crack the nut. It's not the woman they're interested in, it's literally just 'the challenge' itself.

[Shining One]

I prefer women who are not a challenge to get, but who naturally challenge me to be better during the course of the relationship. In my admittedly limited experience, women who were a challenge to get were extremely disappointing when I actually got them.