throwawayfriend Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 (edited) My ex cheated on me during his vacation in Sept/Oct and never told me. He dumped me the day after he came back. I had a bad feeling in my gut throughout the vacation and only worked up the nerve to message one of the 'friends' he made a couple of a days ago to get some closure. She basically confirmed that he was on dating app around halfway through the vacation, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of the other 'friends' he made he met the same way. During most of his vacation I felt anxious and uncertain about trusting him and would talk about it with him in an open and honest way, and every time he would say that he would never do something like that. And he continued to deny anything after the breakup too. I just feel betrayed and wish I messaged the girl sooner. I'm more hurt by the fact that he lied to me point blank about something so significant, and that he would do this knowing that a previous ex's cheating devastated me. I feel like an idiot for dating another cheater. Edited December 29, 2018 by throwawayfriend Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Sorry to hear about this. What did he use as a reason to break up with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayfriend Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 He basically said it was sexual incompatibility and that because we've been struggling to be "properly intimate", it was hard for him to feel romantic feelings for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Ouch! That is tough. Take some time for you and once you are ready find a new guy. There are good and loyal ones out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 What an jackazz he is. You will find someone that loves you. Someone that cares for you is willing just to be friends to be near you. You are looking at the wrong type of guys for this to have happened twice now. Don’t take what he said about being sexually capable to heart, his idea of sexual capability could be his gf acting like a prostitute. In that case take what he said as a compliment. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 Oh, he's just a cad who wants variety. He was gaslighting you making HIS cheating YOUR fault. Plus he's one big liar. I rarely think you should contact anyone once that happens, but if you happen to have anything in writing from that one you contacted, I'd just send it to him and let him know now that you're away what a lying gaslighting cheat he was, you feel MUCH better about the breakup -- and then block him on every single thing, social media, phone, text, everything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 He basically said it was sexual incompatibility and that because we've been struggling to be "properly intimate", it was hard for him to feel romantic feelings for me. True words from a narcissist. So sorry this happened to you, no one deserves to be treated that way. If it were me I would contact him with my findings. That his act of selfishness has not gone unnoticed and he will forever be known as a cheat and a liar. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 I feel like an idiot for dating another cheater. You are not an idiot. The small silver lining here is that your instincts were right. So going forward you know to listen to them. I do fear that you will become paranoid & think all men are cheaters because you encountered 2 of them. The lesson you need to learn is how to spot red flags You have been cheated on at least twice. Look back. What do both of those men have in common? When you figure that out, you will be able to avoid that type in the future 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Good riddance to him. You're actually kind of lucky the truth came out as quickly as it did. And don't think that because he felt incompatibility that it's your fault or you're bad at sex. Compatibility is a weird thing, it either works with the other person or it doesn't. He's one that didn't work. The next guy you meet will work (hopefully!). Prior to his vacation, did you notice anything about your relationship that didn't seem right? Was he a bit quieter, pulling away or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs Powjaws Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Hello, My ex cheated on me during his two month vacation in 2017. And I only know it after 11 month when he asked for breakup.. Now its almost 4 month after the caught, we are still live together but he dont want to continue the relationship because he afraid i will recall what he did My breakup experience is worst and i have to write a lot about it. Today, He caught another cheating with different girl and i promise my self i will block him from now on. Please pray that im strong enough to do this Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 He caught another cheating with different girl and i promise my self i will block him from now on. Please pray that im strong enough to do this You are strong enough. Now block him. Stop thinking about it. You are on your computer. Just click the keys. You can do this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs Powjaws Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 You are strong enough. Now block him. Stop thinking about it. You are on your computer. Just click the keys. You can do this! Thank you so much for your advise. I keep my self strong now. No more him ! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Thank you so much for your advise. I keep my self strong now. No more him ! You can do it! I hope you or him are able to move out asap so you can get on with your life. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 My ex cheated on me during his vacation in Sept/Oct and never told me. He dumped me the day after he came back. I had a bad feeling in my gut throughout the vacation and only worked up the nerve to message one of the 'friends' he made a couple of a days ago to get some closure. She basically confirmed that he was on dating app around halfway through the vacation, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of the other 'friends' he made he met the same way. During most of his vacation I felt anxious and uncertain about trusting him and would talk about it with him in an open and honest way, and every time he would say that he would never do something like that. And he continued to deny anything after the breakup too. I just feel betrayed and wish I messaged the girl sooner. I'm more hurt by the fact that he lied to me point blank about something so significant, and that he would do this knowing that a previous ex's cheating devastated me. I feel like an idiot for dating another cheater. You are a great person! It's good you found this out now rather than later. You will find someone soon who loves and adores you! Link to post Share on other sites
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