Someoneforsomeone Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I meet a really nice guy on a dating site. I live in Ga and he lives in VA. We have been texting and talking on the phone for a year and 2 months. We have had 3 scheduled times for him to come see me, but all have failed because of his job. He always speaks about us in the future tense. He says he wants to be with me. The last long distance online dating situation I had we talked and texted for a year and a half before i went to London to meet him. I thought this might happen a bit sooner, but he says he will come soon now that he is changing jobs. Am I an idiot to wait around? Is a year too long? He's always so apologetic and seems serious and senser. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Have you Skyped or video chatted with him ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneforsomeone Posted January 2, 2019 Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 Have you Skyped or video chatted with him ? No. But neither of us has ever brought it up either. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I would start there. Often when people are not able to meet in person they are not who they say they are. I am not sure this is the case but please do yourself a favour and see live video. ( Kind of a red flag ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneforsomeone Posted January 2, 2019 Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 I would start there. Often when people are not able to meet in person they are not who they say they are. I am not sure this is the case but please do yourself a favour and see live video. ( Kind of a red flag ) You might be right. I never thought of it because I never mentioned video contact either. His job checks out, I looked that up. Maybe he is self conscious about his looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Have you even seen his picture? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneforsomeone Posted January 2, 2019 Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 Have you even seen his picture? Yes I have, but it's 3 different photos from the same night. I asked for another, but never got it. Yes, that is suspicious. I saw a photo on his company website that looks like an older version of him. That may be the issue, but I don't care about that kinda stuff. I thought I made that clear to him. I think he's adorable. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I think you should ask to Skype. If he won't that is a bad sign and time for you to reassess this all. Keep us posted ok? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneforsomeone Posted January 2, 2019 Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 I think you should ask to Skype. If he won't that is a bad sign and time for you to reassess this all. Keep us posted ok? I texted him. Waiting on reply. Will let you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I suspect he is not who he portrays himself to be. He might physically be just fine, but he could be hiding other significant information from you. Perhaps he's not even single. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 How old are you 2? Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Sounds like a catfish. At this point you have no relationship and you haven't even seen the guy. All the excuses for not seeing you are because he isn't who he says he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Any response after the request to video chat? Update? Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 I'm curious about this too! No video after even a few weeks or a month and being long distance only means catfish in my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Yeah def' skype as soon as you can . And l do know how this long distance thing can happen and drag on before someone can get to somewhere and get the set backs before it eventually happens. No one can tell you to keep waiting though or not only you can decide that and you know it's a chance you have to take if you do wanna go that way. So that's all up to you. But yeah , def' skype first of all and if he won't then something must be wrong and l must admit, the photo thing sounds a bit suss. And don't you send selfies and stuff, we use to do that all the time. Good luck anyway , hope it's all legit and comes together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Sounds like a giant waste of time. This is why I don't believe in long distance dating Start with the video chat. That should have happened a year ago. If he balks, walk. If you like what you see, you make arrangements to go there. Clearly you can't rely on him to come to you. If that still doesn't work, decide whether you want to keep preventing yourself from having a real relationship with a flesh & blood local person in favor of this game he's playing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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