Women: What age gap do you find acceptable?

[Logo]

I know most women in relationships prefer the men to be older than they are, but what age gap do you find acceptable as a woman?

 

 

In your 20s?

 

 

In your 30s?

 

 

 

In your 40s?

 

 

In your 50s +?

 

 

No need to give your age. Your opinion would be appreciated enough.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have never dated anyone more than 7 years older (and only once). Usually it's same age or slightly younger. As to what's acceptable? Probably between 5-10 years older. The less, the better.

 

To give you an example: recently I met a friend's new boyfriend. She is 33 and he is 50. He looks good for his age (athletic, has all his hair, hasn't gone grey and dresses stylishly). He has probably aged as well as anyone could hope for. He also has a great career (and so does she). However, all of our social group is talking about her settling for an old man, and flags him as being "much older" and keeps telling her that she can do better.

 

So yeah, it's "socially acceptable" as long as he brings a lot to the table (i.e. money). Otherwise, it's seen as "settling".

[basil67]

I have never dated anyone more than 7 years older (and only once). Usually it's same age or slightly younger. As to what's acceptable? Probably between 5-10 years older. The less, the better.

 

To give you an example: recently I met a friend's new boyfriend. She is 33 and he is 50. He looks good for his age (athletic, has all his hair, hasn't gone grey and dresses stylishly). He has probably aged as well as anyone could hope for. He also has a great career (and so does she). However, all of our social group is talking about her settling for an old man, and flags him as being "much older" and keeps telling her that she can do better.

 

So yeah, it's "socially acceptable" as long as he brings a lot to the table (i.e. money). Otherwise, it's seen as "settling".

 

What you write is true. There’s always someone banging on about how it’s socially acceptable for a women to be with an older man...but I wonder what society they are living in because I only ever here scandalised gossip if it happens

[somanymistakes]

While I find a wide range of men attractive I have only ever dated men who are almost exactly my age. Like, a year off at most.

 

Certainly I had crushes on older men when I was young but that was never going to go anywhere, those were just fantasies.

 

And I had a brief 'almost' with a guy who was four years younger than me, but it was only ever an almost because at that point in my life four years was a big difference. We were friends, we flirted, we realised we were getting too flirty, we backed off.

[stillafool]

I've never dated anyone more than 3 years older than me, 8 years younger.

[Els]

I've only ever had relationships with men who were very close to my age (+-1 year tops). Whether that was coincidence or not, I can't say. The biggest age gap where I've actually experienced attraction to a man was 11 years, but thinking back on that kinda squicks me now, lol. Let's just say that looking back at it now, I'm very glad he turned me down - it was the right thing for him to do IMO.

 

[]

Edited January 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to off-topic material redacted.

[edgygirl]

My preference (40s) is men around my age or slightly younger than me. I feel men older than me don't have the sexual drive I desire.

 

I've never been into older men and still am not. It's not really a rational preference, it just... is. For some reason I am not attracted to them, emotionally nor physically. The only time I went for older men was when I was 16-17 and dated men in their 20s as the kids at my age seemed immature and childish.

 

I've once dated a much younger man (10+) and ended up marrying him. I would never deliberately look for that, but we had met online and didn't didn't discuss our age until the first date. I was convinced he was around my age lol. He was an "old soul" and no one guessed we had a large age difference. Of course it didn't work due to life stages and goals. I had the illusion that love would conquer all. It usually doesn't...

 

There's a 60 yo after me now... although he does want what I'm looking for, it's been hard for me to become interested. I don't quite feel an emotional attraction to him and I feel he might pass way before me and obviously I don't want to spend several years alone in my older age.

Edited January 3, 2019 by edgygirl

[amaysngrace]

Like five or ten at any given stage in life seems fair. Who wants to be in the awkward situation where your spouse gets mistaken for your child?

[Gretchen12]

I used to be ok dating much older men. But as I get older, I'm finding I have more in common with same aged men having lived through the same decades at the same ages.

[Kitty Tantrum]

I had an inkling when I was younger (16-18) that I should look for a man 10+ years older. But I didn't, because I was all worried about what people would think. My first husband was about 3 years older than me, and the two guys I dated after my divorce were not much older.

 

Holy immaturity, batman!

 

All of these men were arguably in a more advantageous position than I was, but their decision-making and resource management were generally abysmal. Even the one with the great career who seemed to pretty much "have it together" - he either wasn't as serious about the relationship as he claimed, or he was seriously lacking in the ability to plan and follow through. In every case, I saw these men making decisions that were not conducive to their stated goals and then blaming external factors for their lack of success. They all had grand notions about unconditional love and that the logistical and practical difficulties created by their own decisions shouldn't be any impediment to our relationship - if I REALLY loved them.

 

Now that I'm in my early 30s, I would NEVER get involved with a man less than 10 years my senior unless he was EXCEPTIONALLY mature for his age. My fiancé is 15 years older, and I FINALLY feel like I'm with someone who is actually a little bit more of an adult than I am. He never treats me like I'm supposed to be his mother.

 

To be fair, though, I've always said that "I was born old."

[TheRainbow]

I met my husband when I was 19, and he was 11 years older than me. I'm have been with him in my 20's, and now in my early 30's I'm still with him.

 

So 11 years

[RecentChange]

For the most part I have dated men very close to my age. My husband is just shy of 2 years younger than me.

 

Once when I was 22 I briefly dated a guy that was 30 - I remembered thinking that he was SO MUCH OLDER! 30! Of course looking back, 30 doesn’t seem so old now, but we were in different stages of life - the age gap made a difference.

 

When I was 36 I had an affair with a 27 year old - honestly I didn’t really notice the age gap there - but it was far from a “real” relationship.

 

For the most part, I find men my age (40), and a bit younger attractive - never really been into the older man thing.

[Arieswoman]

IMO this is a very wide topic.

 

 

It depends on the age of the partners.

 

 

If a woman takes up with a man who is older than her (say 10 years +) then if she is in her 20's, 30's it doesn't matter at all, in fact it is a distict advantage. She gets a man who is mature, stable, well-established in his career, can give her a good lifestyle that is better than men of her own age can offer.

 

 

However, the other side of the coin is that when she is 65 and quite sprightly he will be 75 and having prostrate/incontinence problems, needing stents, a new hip etc.

 

 

All the girls I know who married 'older' men are now spending their time as nursemaids.

 

 

I'm talking about marriage/long term relationships here, not 'sugar-daddies', maybe that neeeds a different thread ?

[Sarah_Smiles]

My longest partner was over six years older than me, and I have never dated anyone my exact age or younger than me before. I would date 10 years older than me.

[greymatter]

The trend for me, since I was in my 20s, has always been to be in relationships with men who are slightly younger. I was in a long term relationship/marriage (18 years) with someone 3 years younger. Post divorce, the next relationship I had was also with someone 3 years younger. Following that, I dated men who ranged between 2-14 years younger than me but most were within 5 years of me, and just one older guy (only 5 years older).

 

I am currently very happy in a relationship with a man who is 6 years younger. I'm in my early 50s.

[losangelena]

I have no preference, really. Most of the guys I get with these days are in their mid-20s, and I’m approaching 40. I don’t really date, though, just casual sex partners.

[dream of me]

I'm 31. I prefer around my age or some years younger.

My love is 34.

[david2]

For me, age is not matters quite in a relationship as it all depends on how much serious you are with the other person and how you are going to take it in further.

[toomanyquestions123]

I am in my late twenties and I dont think i can date someone my age or younger. I am more attracted to guys in their thirties, my ex-fiancé was 10 years older than me, i was 26 and he was 36, when we were breaking up he said there is this age gap problem ( i did not see it as a problem though ). The last one i dated and that i liked was also 10 years older than me. I love guys who are older than me, that's for sure.

[LastStraw]

I have always been attracted to men between 35-50, younger guys I have seen as kids ... even when I was 20 myself.

 

Generally 15sh year difference is nothing at 25 or older. I'd say my limit has been 20 years of difference (but the biggest age difference I've actually experienced was 18 years - I had to break it off because he was too immature, although I was the younger one in the couple lol)

[GTR King]

I am 28 my Girlfriend is 23

 

Most of the people I have dated have been younger than me (More than a year) Only ever been on one date with a girl who was older than me

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Up to 15 years older and 5 years younger