ice3784 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Hi all. It has been total of 5 years now. I still felt attached. We both agreed to end. He left the country. But no contact is not more than a week. We had this on and off relationship even though we are now long distance. But when the pain comes. We will do no contact again. Really need help how to keep it going till all the feelings die off.... Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Distract yourself. Go to yoga, go for a walk, talk to a friend, read a book. Anything. Pick something you enjoy doing, and anytime you have the urge to talk to him, think about him, go do said activity, even if it's 3 in the morning. Link to post Share on other sites
kxpxsc3 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 I find it helpful to also ready things that empower me online. I like in particular Natalie Lue's blog "Baggage Reclaim." There are many articles on MM/OW, unavailable relationships, boundaries, etc. One quote from her that personally keeps me going this week is, "missing someone that mistreated you is like mourning the loss of trash." My MM didn't outright mistreat me, but all the lies and deception are mistreatment enough for me to resonate with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ice3784 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 One of the most time i think of him is before sleep and once i woke up. Mayb i just miss having someone to sleep next to and wake up with... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ice3784 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 Thank you i will look for that blog. He cheated for me and cheated on me. Somehow it makes me feel im not good enough? I constantly feels i need him to love me back to prove myself better than the other women he fool with. I just lost my self confidence hence NC cant last long i scared too he really doesnt really bother about me in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
TooBad Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Thank you i will look for that blog. He cheated for me and cheated on me. Somehow it makes me feel im not good enough? I constantly feels i need him to love me back to prove myself better than the other women he fool with. I just lost my self confidence hence NC cant last long i scared too he really doesnt really bother about me in the first place. Just some thoughts here, but beware, I am of the male species: - He cheated for you and he cheated on you. That makes it not personal, since he does it to/for others as well. It has nothing to do with you and everything with the way he is. - You are not good enough. No, you are better and deserve better - You need him to love you back. Yes, we all do when we love someone. It won't happen with him, see first comment. - No, he didn't really care about you in the first place. It just took a long time to see that or have that surface…. Unfortunately I have no advice for you. I do realise it's hard to stay away from someone. At some point you will though, and I hope for your sake that some point is soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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