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Keep falling back.


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Hi all. It has been total of 5 years now. I still felt attached. We both agreed to end. He left the country. But no contact is not more than a week. We had this on and off relationship even though we are now long distance. But when the pain comes. We will do no contact again. Really need help how to keep it going till all the feelings die off....

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Distract yourself. Go to yoga, go for a walk, talk to a friend, read a book. Anything. Pick something you enjoy doing, and anytime you have the urge to talk to him, think about him, go do said activity, even if it's 3 in the morning.

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I find it helpful to also ready things that empower me online. I like in particular Natalie Lue's blog "Baggage Reclaim." There are many articles on MM/OW, unavailable relationships, boundaries, etc.

 

One quote from her that personally keeps me going this week is, "missing someone that mistreated you is like mourning the loss of trash."

 

My MM didn't outright mistreat me, but all the lies and deception are mistreatment enough for me to resonate with that.

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One of the most time i think of him is before sleep and once i woke up. Mayb i just miss having someone to sleep next to and wake up with...

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Thank you i will look for that blog. He cheated for me and cheated on me. Somehow it makes me feel im not good enough? I constantly feels i need him to love me back to prove myself better than the other women he fool with. I just lost my self confidence hence NC cant last long i scared too he really doesnt really bother about me in the first place.

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Thank you i will look for that blog. He cheated for me and cheated on me. Somehow it makes me feel im not good enough? I constantly feels i need him to love me back to prove myself better than the other women he fool with. I just lost my self confidence hence NC cant last long i scared too he really doesnt really bother about me in the first place.

 

 

Just some thoughts here, but beware, I am of the male species:

 

 

- He cheated for you and he cheated on you. That makes it not personal, since he does it to/for others as well. It has nothing to do with you and everything with the way he is.

- You are not good enough. No, you are better and deserve better

- You need him to love you back. Yes, we all do when we love someone. It won't happen with him, see first comment.

- No, he didn't really care about you in the first place. It just took a long time to see that or have that surface….

 

 

 

Unfortunately I have no advice for you. I do realise it's hard to stay away from someone. At some point you will though, and I hope for your sake that some point is soon.

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