siren8272 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 So my stepdad's niece works at Harvard University as a research professor. Well she did research on women,the age of autonomy , and the impact on earning potential. Well she in her abstract proceeded to speak on where she obtained her idea. According to her she (who is like me an only child) based her research on myself and cousins IN OUR FAMILY. She outlined each of us in her research. Myself she stated when she found out I had never been on a cruise(i have another thread about that foolishness) , never allowed to have a sleep over or anyone over, How my mother demanded to meet boyfriends even when I was in my 20s, how I was sabotaged by my mother at my job, she even went into how hard it was for me to find work because of the lack of public transportation(rural area still no public transportation), How my mother refused to take me to job interviews, and finally how I have never been married or had a child. This she goes on to state she suspects is because Im making up for lost time and that I subconsciously think marriage will be as restrictive as my childhood. I never heard what was said about my other cousins because my mother was just focused on what was written about she and myself. How did I find out about this you might ask? Well my mother proceeded to contact me on the phone yelling apparently my stepdad's nicece's MOTHER didnt like the research and decided to share with everyone(she claimed she happen to see it while borrowing her daughter's computer. Also shes a mess maker. Well now my mother is mad at me. She thinks i told my stepdad's niece all of this. I did not she observed and heard from MY STEPDAD through the years these stories. Honestly we arent close anyway so im kinda annoyed she decided to use me in her research. My mother is irate with me over things that DID happen but i let them go. My issues are how do I handle this? We had patched things up now its back to square one. Why is she mad with me ? They did happen but I didnt tell my stepdad's niece about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Since you appear to be an adult, you're entitled to your own reaction, just as your Mom is entitled to hers. Along with that comes the right to discuss this with her as much - or as little - as you want. They're your boundaries, all you have to do is enforce them... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Revelation Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 You did not do anything; unfortunately your mom is directing her anger at you, when she should be angry with herself for her past mistakes, and maybe with your distant relative for exposing them. Link to post Share on other sites
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