Transforming into a passive aggressive man

[anika99]

No. My beliefs are not outside the norm. I just believe that it is really important for a women to desire her man sexually just as her man desires her sexually. Sex shouldn't be used as a favor or weapon. Here's the question for you: do you really believe that it is normal for a woman to give sex to men as favor?

 

I think everyone agrees with you that it's important for a woman to desire her man and I think everyone agrees that sex should not be used as a favor or weapon so I'm not sure what this thread is even about. If a woman does not desire a particular man then she should not have sex with him or be pressured to have sex with him. Do you agree? If so then what exactly are you angry about? If you are dating a woman and after getting to know each other she still is showing no sexual desire for you then she is not the right girl for you so it's back to the drawing board.

 

That's the way dating is for everyone. Nobody finds a perfect match with everyone they date. For some women finding a mature secure man may be important to her but she might have to go on dates with several immature insecure men before she meets a good match. It's nothing to get mad about or to start becoming passive aggressive over, lol. When you date you have to accept that people are who they are. That they have their own minds and their own feelings. You either like what they have to offer or you move along. You don't get mad at people for not being who you want them to be, you keep dating until you find the one you click with.

[Garcon1986]

So what are you seeking by posting this thread mate?

[anika99]

Miss Anika. Here I would like to address some key points you need to understand and get educated about.<snip>

 

I am sorry if I took your words out of context and misunderstood your meaning however you have twisted my words and taken my words out of context to the extreme.

 

I truly have no idea what you are talking about. You posted some weird references to women who have attacked men for not having sex with them and then concluded that I think that's okay because I'm a radical feminist...lol. where in the world did I say anywhere in my post that I think it's okay for anyone to attack people for not having sex. Every person, man and woman, owns their body and gets to decide when and with whom they will have sex. Every person, male or female, who would attack someone for refusing them sex is seriously disturbed and needs to be locked up. A woman has the right to refuse sex with a man she does not desire just as a man has the right to refuse sex with someone he does not desire.

 

I'm not sure where all these women are who are in a relationship and using sex as a favor or reward. I'm sure they exist but they are not most women. Just like there are men who are sexual abusers but they are not most men. Again I do not get what it is that you are angry about.. You are not in a relationship where a woman is giving you sex as a favor so what is the problem? Nobody thinks it's okay for people to use sex as a weapon. Nobody thinks that it's okay to attack people for refusing sex. All I said is that nobody is owed sex just because they took someone on a few dates. People should only have sex when they desire the person they are with. If you agree then I think we can put this to rest. If you don't agree then feel free to explain why.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Quote truncated pending resubmssion of content.

[Kitty Tantrum]

Well, I wouldn't act literally just because someone gave me some advice on the internet. However, opinions given on forums are given by real people, not by robots. I always get upset when I get called as a "misogynist" for fighting against hidden psychological abuse like sexual manipulation.

 

I agree with you that some women use their sexuality to manipulate men. Won't argue with that even a little bit. There are plenty of examples. Where you start straying into misogynist territory is when you assert that men don't do this. That's no less egregious than someone asserting that women never rape men, that it's not possible for a woman to rape a man, etc.

 

The fact that you've given no concrete examples of personal experience makes you come across as someone who is merely sexually frustrated and pinning your pent-up anger and frustration on some "principle of female behavior" that you've read about at length on the internet.

 

What personal experience do you have with women using sex to manipulate YOU? What did you lose? What harm was done to you? Without knowing where you're coming from specifically, I can only advise that you seem awfully worked up over an issue that is not presently affecting you.

 

You mention having been "with a girl a few years ago" and that she "played games." That tells us exactly nothing useful. You played Mario Kart together and then she ditched you? She ran around on you with other guys? She used you for the perks of your partnership/association for a long time without reciprocating? She didn't put out quickly, and you got angry at her so she left? Something else entirely?

 

You've been without sex for ten years. WHY? Could it be because you've allowed ONE bad experience to put you off of pursuing partnership entirely, because you've let it consume you to the point where you think that all or most women are just like the girl who hurt you?

 

Let me tell you, if you presented the case of my first marriage, with the names and genders redacted, to a board of proper misogynists - most of them would peg my ex-husband as the manipulative, conniving woman and me as the long-suffering beta-chump. I'VE BEEN THERE. It's not just women. I lost nearly everything I worked for in that marriage aside from my children. Home, money, dignity, self-worth. It was a very expensive lesson.

 

If I'd allowed that experience to color my perception of all or even most men, I'd be single and frustrated right now, too - and on track to teach my boys a lot of really unhealthy and fallacious notions about their gender.

 

You'll never find love if you hide in an echo chamber or internal feedback loop of negativity.

[Only-yours]

I am sorry if I took your words out of context and misunderstood your meaning however you have twisted my words and taken my words out of context to the extreme.<snip>.

 

Miss Anika, I am sorry too if I said something that hurt you. Right now I am writing the real issue that has been bothering me in this thread. I believe I need help. I am posting my reply below.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Garcon1986]

Is it actually that you want help getting back in the dating game?

[Redhead14]

No man has ever used sex as a weapon against women

 

Really? Ask all the women who have been raped or badgered into having sex when they don't really feel like having it.

 

Apart from that, women who use sex as a tool of manipulation are immature and, frankly, are insecure and have low self-esteem. For some reason, they've allowed themselves to feel powerless and be unassertive and passive-aggressive themselves.

 

That being said, if a woman doesn't want to have sex and not because she's being vindictive or manipulative, she does have that option and that should be respected.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Correct quote

[preraph]

No. My beliefs are not outside the norm. I just believe that it is really important for a women to desire her man sexually just as her man desires her sexually. Sex shouldn't be used as a favor or weapon. Here's the question for you: do you really believe that it is normal for a woman to give sex to men as favor?

 

No. I don't believe she should give sex at all if she doesn't want to have sex with him at any point for any reason.

[preraph]

Well, I wouldn't act literally just because someone gave me some advice on the internet. However, opinions given on forums are given by real people, not by robots. I always get upset when I get called as a "misogynist" for fighting against hidden psychological abuse like sexual manipulation.

 

You can't be manipulated if you don't stick around. So if you don't like how the woman is acting -- leave! She does not owe you sex.

[preraph]

I agree with you that some women use their sexuality to manipulate men. Won't argue with that even a little bit. There are plenty of examples. Where you start straying into misogynist territory is when you assert that men don't do this. That's no less egregious than someone asserting that women never rape men, that it's not possible for a woman to rape a man, etc.<snip>

 

I think he thinks if they're not having sex with him, they're "playing games" instead of just not interested in him that way period.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[anika99]

Miss Anika, I am sorry too if I said something that hurt you. Right now I am writing the real issue that has been bothering me in this thread. I believe I need help. I am posting my reply below.

 

Do not worry. You did not say anything that hurt me. I do not let words posted by strangers on the internet hurt me and you shouldn't let the words of strangers hurt you either.

 

Maybe you can start over again and let us know what it is that is upsetting you.

[Only-yours]

I agree with you that some women use their sexuality to manipulate men. Won't argue with that even a little bit. There are plenty of examples. Where you start straying into misogynist territory is when you assert that men don't do this. That's no less egregious than someone asserting that women never rape men, that it's not possible for a woman to rape a man, etc.

 

The fact that you've given no concrete examples of personal experience makes you come across as someone who is merely sexually frustrated and pinning your pent-up anger and frustration on some "principle of female behavior" that you've read about at length on the internet. <snip>

 

Thanks for your support. Let me address the real issue that has been bothering me. That's true. A girl who was my relative used to like me. One of my cousins told me she likes me. This incident took place around 10 years ago. When I confronted that girl, she just ran away. Perhaps she just got scared. The next day she was ogling at me and smiling at me to the point that I felt uncomfortable. She just used to avoid me all the times because I already knew that she likes me. I was actually planning to marry her, but I am glad I didn't marry her because of circumstances that occurred later on. As the time passed, all the feelings of love in her heart just faded away. After several months, when I approached her and just asked her how's she doing, she just turned her face away and gave a look of contempt. The girl who supposedly "loved" me turned out to be a person who actually has no feelings at all. Everything was a delusion. That smile, her way of talking, and her way of showing interest, everything. I do not even think about her now. In fact, I am glad I just realized she was not worthy enough to be my partner. The mother of that girl cheated on her husband with the contractor when her father was in the US. She got caught with the contractor at their house late at night.

 

Around four years ago, I met another girl. She used to work as maid at one of my relatives' house. She initiated and stirred everything by giving me "signals". I used to flirt with her too much but she never minded that. In fact it seemed she actually enjoyed me flirting with her. However, one day when I visited my relatives' house to say her that I actually love her and want to be with her, she was gone that same day! She just disappeared. I inquired about her and found that she just left the job because she was feeling ill and could not continue the job. At least she could have exchanged numbers or create some other way to stay in touch with me. I used to plan a lot to meet her. I used to take risks. In fact, I even sneaked into my relatives' house just to meet her. But everything just ended in one day. I was devastated and disappointed to the extent that I need to take medical help. Just like the previous case, I felt manipulated and betrayed. I have been on antidepressants since that incident and currently I am still on antidepressants. But antidepressants are just ineffective on me. They just don't work to stop my behavior.

 

The only confident girl whom I felt was genuinely attracted to me was a girl whom I met around 13 years ago. I was around 14 at that time and she was around 20. I was not a mature guy. But she just grabbed my hand and pulled me into her house and asked me out straight away. No games, no eye contact, no shying, or nothing like that. She was probably not a player because everything she supposedly wanted was right on the point. But I do not know if she was a manipulator or not. She might be a manipulator just pretending to be genuinely interested. I don't know.

 

I started posting rants all over the internet just like I did here and got heartbreaking and emotionally disturbing responses. All those rants were misogynist in nature, and I regret posting them and was disgusted with myself.

 

After my last unsuccessful encounter with the maid, I just got disheartened and frustrated. I was emotionally devastated. I never even thought about seeing a prostitute. A battle erupted within me. I was fighting a war against myself. My inner self was the biggest enemy of me. In order to release sexual frustration, failure in love, unsuccessful relationships, etc, I finally decided to see a prostitute and I ended up seeing a prostitute who performed blowjob on me. I was not just seeking sex, I was also seeking emotional connection, too. Unfortunately, prostitutes do not replace your partner. They don't give a damn about your emotions. They just need to "do the job" and take the money. That's it. I do realize that I can never attain true emotional connection with a prostitute, no matter how much I am attracted to her. Right now I am in financial crisis, so I did not see prostitute again. However, I feel like a loser, an idiot, and an unworthy person.

 

I do realize that my so-called "encounters" with those girls were not even encounters. It was nothing but just attraction, probably fake attraction. Even if the attraction was real, it never lasted long and just faded away.

 

I am currently struggling with full blown sex addiction. I am a 27 year old man with hyperactive sex drive. I have considered taking testosterone suppressors and antidepressants to make myself asexual and aromantic.

 

I am planning to give it a last try by approaching a woman. This hurts while typing this, but I am no longer capable enough to handle rejection. If the woman I love disrespectfully rejects me, then I will probably end up in a mental hospital unless I become an asexual or aromantic person who would care less about rejection. I obviously know myself better than others.

 

Now let me address the sex as favor to men part.

 

Whenever I see woman's arrogant behavior when a man approaches her makes me think that she thinks that she is actually doing him a favor if she allows him to have sex with her. Usually, many women frown when man approaches them. I actually hate cocky women who think they are doing a favor to men. I believe such women are the ones who manipulate. I just started to believe all women are like that just like many radical feminists unfairly promote the idea that all men are rapists. I just started to believe that all women are asexual and just have sex to reproduce and do not actually want sex or at least have very, very low sex drive.

 

I am not a misogynist person at all. I was just a foolish person to post rants all over the internet. But I might just give a last shot with any woman I believe who would not hurt my feelings and who do actually has a high libido just like me. Otherwise, I would just seek ways to become asexual and aromantic before ending up in a mental asylum.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Repair/truncate quote

[Garcon1986]

Sorry to hear this old chap, you are indeed in a tough situation.

 

Would you consider starting by working on your very strong sensitivity towards rejection?

 

And what about doing things that make you truly happy? There are other more long lasting ways that can steer you away from sex addiction. Wanting an orgasm isn't anything inherently shameful.

 

I think the hard brick wall here is - you don't need to go to a psychiatric hospital over female rejection. Don't go there, you have people who care about you. Let us talk you through this.

[MetallicHue]

Maybe you should see a counselor to work out your issues. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and it may be best to work through it before dating again. Once you work through it maybe you can approach things in a more positive light. 27 is pretty young - you still have a lot of time left. I have a friend in the forties just getting married now and couldn’t be happier.

[preraph]

Whenever I see woman's arrogant behavior when a man approaches her makes me think that she thinks that she is actually doing him a favor if she allows him to have sex with her. Usually, many women frown when man approaches them. I actually hate cocky women who think they are doing a favor to men.

 

 

So you're mad because women frown when you approach them? You're mad that they have already said "no" with their faces and saved you the trouble of approaching them and then they say "no" with their mouths? You're just mad that women have the option of saying no, my friend. You think that's cocky and arrogant. Wow.

 

By the way, you're not supposed to date and have sex with relatives! And I'm guessing the maid left because of the position you put her in, making her feel like she had to be nice to you. You sexually harassed her while she was on the job.

 

The one you like was way too old to be hitting on you. And the ONLY reason you liked her is she made all the moves. You say she isn't shy. Do you really think women don't do this more often because they're shy? They don't want to do it is why they don't do it. If you're waiting for that to happen again, you'll have a long wait ahead of you.

 

If you want to do something about your problem, you need therapy. There's no shame in that. You have a lot of issues and real boundary problems.

[Only-yours]

So you're mad because women frown when you approach them? You're mad that they have already said "no" with their faces and saved you the trouble of approaching them and then they say "no" with their mouths? You're just mad that women have the option of saying no, my friend. You think that's cocky and arrogant. Wow.

 

By the way, you're not supposed to date and have sex with relatives! And I'm guessing the maid left because of the position you put her in, making her feel like she had to be nice to you. You sexually harassed her while she was on the job.

 

The one you like was way too old to be hitting on you. And the ONLY reason you liked her is she made all the moves. You say she isn't shy. Do you really think women don't do this more often because they're shy? They don't want to do it is why they don't do it. If you're waiting for that to happen again, you'll have a long wait ahead of you.

 

If you want to do something about your problem, you need therapy. There's no shame in that. You have a lot of issues and real boundary problems.

 

You Wrote:

 

"So you're mad because women frown when you approach them? You're mad that they have already said "no" with their faces and saved you the trouble of approaching them and then they say "no" with their mouths? You're just mad that women have the option of saying no, my friend. You think that's cocky and arrogant. Wow."

 

My Response:

 

No, I am not saying that at all. First of all, I can't understand why people on this forum are not trying to understand what I am trying to say. Everyone has the option to say no but that does not mean that you have the right to humiliate a person who approaches you. Why you have to be so arrogant if someone approaches you? What do you think you are? What are you? God?

 

You Wrote:

 

"By the way, you're not supposed to date and have sex with relatives! And I'm guessing the maid left because of the position you put her in, making her feel like she had to be nice to you. You sexually harassed her while she was on the job."

 

My Response:

 

I was not having sex with relatives. That girl had no blood relation with me at all. Secondly, it looks like you cannot read properly. I was NOT sexually harassing that maid at all. Can you even read properly? She actually used to enjoy me flirting with her. She used to smile at me whenever I flirted with her and whenever I talked to her.

 

You Wrote:

 

"The one you like was way too old to be hitting on you. And the ONLY reason you liked her is she made all the moves. You say she isn't shy. Do you really think women don't do this more often because they're shy? They don't want to do it is why they don't do it. If you're waiting for that to happen again, you'll have a long wait ahead of you."

 

My Response:

 

I don't believe that age matters. Age is just a number for me. If a cougar wants me to become her cub, then I don't have any problem accepting her as my partner. Perhaps some women don't do what that girl did because they feel shy? I can't speak about all women, but that particular girl was definitely not shy. I would say she was confident enough to make move first. If I meet a girl like her again, then I wouldn't need to wait much

 

You Wrote:

 

"If you want to do something about your problem, you need therapy. There's no shame in that. You have a lot of issues and real boundary problems."

 

My Response:

 

I do realize that I need help. I am having tough times right now. However, this does not mean that I am a crazy person or mentally unstable. Actually, I would be a much better partner than rest of men if I find a woman who loves me.

[Garcon1986]

Being mentally unprepared to accept rejection is unacceptable as a grown adult. Are you willing to put in the work to fix this?

[preraph]

You Wrote:

 

 

That girl had no blood relation with me at all.

 

Your quote: "A girl who was my relative used to like me. One of my cousins told me she likes me. This incident took place around 10 years ago. When I confronted that girl, she just ran away."

 

_____

 

People who work for a living have to be nice to people they don't want to. Do you work?

 

_____

 

And to once again answer your circular thinking, wouldn't you rather a woman gave you a sign (scowl) not to approach than to ask her out and she then says no? She's trying to WARN you she isn't interested rather than have a confrontation. And who cares if you like that or not? Nobody.

Fortunately, you don't get to make the rules how a woman should conduct themselves with you.

 

You need to stop wasting time stewing and get in therapy. I know you don't want to live angry the rest of your life -- and angry will NOT get you a woman.

Edited January 5, 2019 by preraph

[Kitty Tantrum]

So, the women you're talking about are, in chronological order:

 

1. A sexual predator (she was 20, you were 14).

 

2. A female RELATIVE (who was perhaps a minor?).

 

3. A relative's household employee.

 

And from what you're describing, with each of these women, you INVENTED and IMAGINED scenarios in your own head that caused you to become increasingly attached to the idea of being with these women - without ever having established anything resembling a real romantic connection with any of them. What you're describing here is that your expectations of these women are not founded in any sort of objective reality. You felt like these women owed you something, based on... ???

 

You were planning to MARRY a girl you're RELATED TO (for MOST PEOPLE it doesn't matter if she's not a blood relative, if you've grown up as family it's still weird) based on the fact that she threw a little bit of confused flirting at you when you were teenagers? WHOA THERE. SLOW DOWN, COWBOY.

 

First of all, none of these encounters had a realistic chance of being anything more than horrible mistakes if they'd led to sex. But even if they DID have that potential, YOU AND YOU ALONE shot yourself in the foot by becoming fixated instead of approaching in a healthy way.

 

There's a lot more to this than testosterone and wanting sex. There is something in your psyche that is causing you to fixate on and build absurd fantasies around scenarios with no real potential, instead of going out and meeting women with whom you might actually have a reasonable shot (not relatives, not family employees, not sexual predators).

 

I can't provide whatever therapy you need, but I CAN tell you that none of these specific scenarios have anything to do with women using their sexuality to manipulate you. This is you getting WAY WAY WAAAYYY ahead of yourself, and quite possible scaring all of these women away in the process.

 

You say you'd make a "much better partner" than other men, so I'll bite on that: WHY? What are your qualifications?

[Only-yours]

Being mentally unprepared to accept rejection is unacceptable as a grown adult. Are you willing to put in the work to fix this?

 

Yes, I am willing to work on that.

[Only-yours]

And to once again answer your circular thinking, wouldn't you rather a woman gave you a sign (scowl) not to approach than to ask her out and she then says no? She's trying to WARN you she isn't interested rather than have a confrontation.

That girl was not my blood relative. Anyway that's a different topic. A girl could say no in a polite manner and I would not bother her after that. No one likes cocky behavior.

And who cares if you like that or not? Nobody.

Fortunately, you don't get to make the rules how a woman should conduct themselves with you.

So here essentially you are saying it is OK for a woman to disrespect a man who approaches her and no one should give a damn about how he feels? Well, thank you for proving my point. I wouldn't bother her if she politely says "no", but I can't allow a woman to control me or humiliate me just because I chose to approach her.

You need to stop wasting time stewing and get in therapy. I know you don't want to live angry the rest of your life -- and angry will NOT get you a woman.

I will most likely get testosterone suppressing therapy and psycho therapy. It looks like my sex drive and romantic feelings are the main culprit that are holding me back from developing my life and improving myself. I am planning to buy a good amount of testosterone suppressors and antidepressants. Suppressing sex drive and romantic feelings might just end all sufferings and bad feelings of rejection. It's all about brain and hormones. Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quoting

[basil67]

You're talking about how women should reject a man nicely. In principle, I agree with you, but let me give you a window into how the woman may be feeling when approached by a man:

 

1. She's out shopping and in a rush. She simply gives the man the same brush off as the guy who's trying to get her money for a charity.

 

2. Attractive woman who gets hit on numerous times a day. She's not seeking any of the attention and she's had quite enough of men bothering her.

 

3. Woman on the bus who's reading her device. The fact that she's in a man's vicinity doesn't mean she wants to talk with them or be approached.

 

4. Service staff, barista, bar maid - they are PAID to be nice and friendly. Sure, they may also find some men are good customers, but being nice doesn't mean they are interested. And they are probably hit on too many times per day as well.

 

5. Women out shopping has had a really bad day. She is NOT IN THE MOOD. Her rejection of a man is not about the man.

 

6. Do not hit on the maid. Sleazy rich men have been using maids for centuries. Perhaps this one guy is genuine, but the maid knows how the world works and commonsense tells her to avoid him.

 

It's time for you to learn empathy. See how on this thread, we could have reacted to your vitriol, but a number of us realised there was a problem and asked you if you needed help instead. It works the same with approaching women - they fact they brush you off isn't cause for anger - it's cause for you to realise that they have other things going on which may impact their reaction.

[preraph]

That girl was not my blood relative. Anyway that's a different topic. A girl could say no in a polite manner and I would not bother her after that. No one likes cocky behavior.

So here essentially you are saying it is OK for a woman to disrespect a man who approaches her and no one should give a damn about how he feels? Well, thank you for proving my point. I wouldn't bother her if she politely says "no", but I can't allow a woman to control me or humiliate me just because I chose to approach her.

I will most likely get testosterone suppressing therapy and psycho therapy. It looks like my sex drive and romantic feelings are the main culprit that are holding me back from developing my life and improving myself. I am planning to buy a good amount of testosterone suppressors and antidepressants. Suppressing sex drive and romantic feelings might just end all sufferings and bad feelings of rejection. It's all about brain and hormones.

 

1) It's not cocky for a woman to let you know she doesn't want to be approached. It's prudent. If you get humiliated, that's on YOU. Everyone, everyone gets rejected. It's far better for someone to show you their "not interested" body language than to have to approach everyone and then get shot down! No woman owes you any politeness if you ignore her scowl and go in anyway!

 

2) You're also not supposed to date or have sex with your step-anythings.

 

3) Let the psychiatrist decide what you need.

[Only-yours]

1) It's not cocky for a woman to let you know she doesn't want to be approached. It's prudent. If you get humiliated, that's on YOU. Everyone, everyone gets rejected. It's far better for someone to show you their "not interested" body language than to have to approach everyone and then get shot down! No woman owes you any politeness if you ignore her scowl and go in anyway!<snip>

Well, thanks for proving my point like always. I never said anyone owes me anything. Now let's reverse the gender here. If a woman approaches her man for sex and he scowls at her, then you would obviously call him a passive aggressive husband, a control freak, abusive, etc. In the cases I mentioned above, men were attacked by woman just because they chose not to have sex with women. It seems that you think that it is ok for a woman to scowl at man if he approaches her, but if a man denies sex, then he should be attacked by the woman. If I approach a woman politely and she declines the offer politely then I would not bother her anymore. I would simply never allow any woman to attack my self-esteem just because I chose to approach her.

Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Only-yours]

So, the women you're talking about are, in chronological order:

1. A sexual predator (she was 20, you were 14).

2. A female RELATIVE (who was perhaps a minor?).

3. A relative's household employee.

And from what you're describing, with each of these women, you INVENTED and IMAGINED scenarios in your own head that caused you to become increasingly attached to the idea of being with these women - without ever having established anything resembling a real romantic connection with any of them. What you're describing here is that your expectations of these women are not founded in any sort of objective reality. You felt like these women owed you something, based on... ???

Yup, I got your point now.

 

You were planning to MARRY a girl you're RELATED TO (for MOST PEOPLE it doesn't matter if she's not a blood relative, if you've grown up as family it's still weird) based on the fact that she threw a little bit of confused flirting at you when you were teenagers? WHOA THERE. SLOW DOWN, COWBOY.

I live in a country where traditions, culture, and practices are pretty different. Of course it is absolutely illegal to marry a relative who has blood relations with you. But as far as relatives who are far away in a family tree are concerned, it is legal to marry them but they should not be your blood relatives. As far as that girl was concerned, it should be noted that I decided to marry her several years ago just because I thought that she might be the right partner. However, later I just realized that I would have been making the biggest mistake of my life by marrying her. She was definitely NOT a marriage material.

First of all, none of these encounters had a realistic chance of being anything more than horrible mistakes if they'd led to sex. But even if they DID have that potential, YOU AND YOU ALONE shot yourself in the foot by becoming fixated instead of approaching in a healthy way.

I can't see how I could have shot myself in the foot if things just escalated. Let's say if that maid and I had sex, then how did I exactly "shot myself in the foot"? Could you please explain?

There's a lot more to this than testosterone and wanting sex. There is something in your psyche that is causing you to fixate on and build absurd fantasies around scenarios with no real potential, instead of going out and meeting women with whom you might actually have a reasonable shot (not relatives, not family employees, not sexual predators).

Yeah. That's true. But I believe testosterone suppressors along with antidepressants and other forms of Psycho treatment might help me to suppress sex drive and suppress romantic feelings that is causing me trouble and stopping me from improving my life.

I can't provide whatever therapy you need, but I CAN tell you that none of these specific scenarios have anything to do with women using their sexuality to manipulate you. This is you getting WAY WAY WAAAYYY ahead of yourself, and quite possible scaring all of these women away in the process.

Yup, I agree. However, I wasn't scaring away women in the process.

You say you'd make a "much better partner" than other men, so I'll bite on that: WHY? What are your qualifications?

Well, I am a caring and loving man who would love to care about my girlfriend. Of course I would try to be the best man she could ever meet and be nice and polite to her. What else does a woman want? Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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