Abetterme Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 @DKT3 you can find me at my new thread. This affair almost ruined my life. Anyone else want to give me their advice woukd be greatly appreciated. Sue31 is doing great btw!! Stronger everyday! I was just going to ask how you were doing Sue! I am so pleased to hear it. All the best! Keep updating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sue31 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 Thank you..... good days and bad but I had to step away from the message boards for a week to clear my head and really focus on my own thoughts. I'm seeing things much clearer now. Yes I miss MM but I'm more angry than sad and realize I got myself into this. He is who he is.... I fell in love with his potential and made him into the perfect man that I needed him to be and ignored the red flags. Big mistake and now I must do the work to heal the damage. Not saying it will happen overnight and I still have moments I wish he would reach out but I've been getting support by talking daily to a friend who's been through something similar and she's helping me keep strong through NC. The more distance the more I see the truth. Things are improving at home already little by little because of the shift in my focus. I know it's not that easy and tomorrow could be another rough day but I'm taking little positive steps as they come. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 @elaine567 he hurt his wife so much when he got caught. Promised her we would stop talking and etc. That was a full year ago. How does he continue to hurt her. Why isnt he satisfied with his life. He even emotionally withdrew from me. So it must be sexual disatisifaction. That's his problem now. Not mine. But you helped him continue hurting his wife. His distance = he likely found another OW... don’t be surprised - some cheaters have multiple back up plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Naivewomen Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 @S2B . He is a grown man making his own choices in his life. I am not pulling a leash around his neck. His responsibilities are his own. I dont expect him to own mine. This nearly destroyed my marriage but I will not blame him for helping it. I CHOSE it!! Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 The grass gets greener where you water it... same goes for relationships. Feed the relationship with care and consideration for the other person and it’s likely to get better and better. Link to post Share on other sites
Naivewomen Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 @S2B I'm working on it. The more I am disconnecting from AP the more I am able to see outside the fog. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 @DKT3 it nearly wrecked my life. I asked for a separation and etc. Once i snapped back into reality i realized I would have wrecked a great life and I would have been alone. The exact way MM wanted me. He wanted me all to himself as a side piece forever. I realized my Spouse loves me unconditionally. My husband would never have hurt me. I realized the one that deserves the trophy here is my Husband. The person that has given me a great life that I have taken advantage of. I took advantage of a passive man who loves me deeply. Things are not great yet but I realized the happiness comes from oneself. I am trying to mend everyday what I broke. I pray for my spouses happiness first now. I hope I am the one who can give that to him. all the best darling. amen. Link to post Share on other sites
Naivewomen Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Thank you Miss Clavel! Link to post Share on other sites
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