preraph Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) <snip> And l've noticed so many people in forums just need to tap into themselves, find their instincts again , use them , keep the faith and get themselves right and feeling good. They all seem to rush rush rush this stuff and date date date seems to no just waiting and honing in on who they are and just who they actually need and are drawn too. My women was at peace and just living , she knew l was there and l'd felt the same, we were both in wait really, getting ourselve's right again, living . lt's so important to find your peace, try not to be pissed off and bitter, find the calm. TBH, l think in the end 40s is a great age if your in a good place you don't need 200 people, you only need that one. Keep the faith , things happen. Wise words. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) Most people believe they look the same as they did 20 years ago. Anything short of plastic surgery doesn't stop the aging process. Although I get where you're coming from, I've met countless women who post pictures from 10+ years ago because they think they look the same too. Just like you. I often wonder if they're intentionally deceiving their potential dating partners or they truly believe it. Posts like yours make me think the latter. Yes, not matter how well preserved, most lose the "look of innocense," the dewey fresh glowy skin, and most of all, the verve of youth. All you have to do is look around at a group of 20 year old women and see how animated they are and then look at yourself. Men can spot that a mile away. If you want men to be fooled into thinking you're young for a minute, jump up and down and laugh a lot. I will say that vibrant older women who are full of energy and verve ARE the ones who still attract men. Probably not always the ones they most want, but if they're that vibrant, they are that social to value more than just looks and youth, I guess. A client of mine who is about 45 just remarried. She's only been divorced about a year. I know she doesn't have a problem with men a little older than her. It should be noted she is in a profession where she meets lots of successful men, though I'm sure most are married. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing in quote Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) <snip>I want my equal. Not my equal given that market for older women is worse so we need to adjust by lowering our standards. It’s insulting. Women that met their long term partners at 18 have no clue what I’m talking about. That would be like me giving advice on raising children. I just turned 50 and I'm always looking in the mirror and getting disappointed. You age or you die. But don't count yourself out of the dating market. The choices might be less but there will always be guys to choose from. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 If you want men to be fooled into thinking you're young for a minute, jump up and down and laugh a lot. I will say that vibrant older women who are full of energy and verve ARE the ones who still attract men. Probably not always the ones they most want, but if they're that vibrant, they are that social to value more than just looks and youth, I guess. LOL! I do look young for my age but I do sort of act like I'm still in my 20's. I'm kind of silly and I'm very animated when I talk so I do come across very young. I'm older than most of the ppl I work with yet I seem younger. IDK most older women are very controlled and I'm sort of...not? I get excited about stuff and laugh a lot. Maybe being youthfulish is more important than being young. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 ^ It's important to be physically animated if you want to look younger. An old friend of mine, who was not old, just maybe 30, too tall for some guys and blond but good looking, was not getting the attention she wanted from the band GNR at a club one night even though we were sitting at one big table with them. Of course, they were extremely drunk/high and kind of oblivious. Also at the table was porn star TraciLords. So everyone was about to leave and my friend told me, Watch this. She took her other friend, and got out in the aisle between the tables and took her hands and they started jumping up and down like seven-year-olds on a playground. Immediately, they were noticed by all the guys. A couple of the band approached and invited them, but they declined the invitation, considering what they had to do to get it. hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Also at the table was porn star TraciLords. gawwwd! she was hot! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 She used me as a human shield. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Lords. So everyone was about to leave and my friend told me, Watch this. She took her other friend, and got out in the aisle between the tables and took her hands and they started jumping up and down like seven-year-olds on a playground. Immediately, they were noticed by all the guys. If I was at a restaurant and a bunch of older people got in the aisle and started jumping up and down like 7 year olds they'd get my attention too. But not necessarily because I wanted to get to know them better. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) It was a bar. Different crowd. Not old people. But yes, animated older ladies get more attention, from what I've seen. They look like they've got some life left in them and look approachable. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 But yes, animated older ladies get more attention, from what I've seen. They look like they've got some life left in them and look approachable. or it could just be their hemmorhoids acting up 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 ^ even that appears sexy to a 60 year old guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 My boyfriend of 6 weeks is 49 and when we go out, attractive 20-something women flirt with him. For some reason, so far he's totally attentive and loyal to 42-year-old me, and with the way he's all over me and lovin me up, I've never felt hotter. Before we met I also worried I was too old for love. We're like two teenagers together. Stay positive and focus on what you WANT, not what you don't want! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Just a note for people that talk about negativity. I don’t talk like this in real life at all. My mum was the only person I even mentioned age/dating to. I’m actually warm, animated, seem happy, laugh and joke all the time. I’m a little shy and reserved with complete strangers only. When I resigned from my previous job 6 months ago, I got so many cards about how much fun I was to be around. In fact the colleagues that shared an office with me (8 hours a day, 5 days a week) said that I was one of those people that always looked happy. Yesterday, I got an email from my former boss saying that the whole team misses me and that losing me was like losing a family member. I know everyone goes around about “vibes”, but really people are not that perceptive. There was no way I would have been able to fool everyone for 5 or so years. Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. It’s how society perceives women as they age. It’s a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under “because they want to start a family”. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too. Anyway this is not something I can change but it’s impossible to ignore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 or it could just be their hemmorhoids acting up LOL! Could be. Never know. I don't think the women were jumping up and down like lunatics. They were probably chatting to each other and laughing and perhaps dancing around a bit to the music. They looked fun to be with all smiles and their hair flowing around their shoulders. I guess it's more about that then how actually attractive you are. I mean yeah it doesn't hurt to have a pretty face and a sexy figure but if you're standing still all stone faced and serious nobody will want to speak to you. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) <snip> Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. It’s how society perceives women as they age. It’s a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under “because they want to start a family”. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too. Anyway this is not something I can change but it’s impossible to ignore. Well...it's hard to find anyone no matter what your age is. There aren't tons of quality men out there looking to be great husbands. Even when I was in my 20's and dating everyday sometimes twice a day I found lots of yucky guys I didn't even want to go on a second date with. Dating is treated too much like a sport or a competition. Find something meaningful in your life and live for that purpose and live fully in the present moment as much as possible. That will probably bring you greater joy than dating TBH. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) I thought being bitter and negative about romantic relationships would affect only those relationships. I fail to see how that would adversely affect your other relationships directly. <snip> Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. It’s how society perceives women as they age. It’s a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under “because they want to start a family”. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too. Anyway this is not something I can change but it’s impossible to ignore. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I understand the realities very well. I would absolutely 100% teach any daughter of mine to try to find the right man, get married, and start her family in her 20s. I wish someone had taught me this. For a while, I thought I’d never have a good shot at marriage or kids past 40. But my recent experience so far is an exception to the rule. My 49-year-old boyfriend and I never stopped wanting marriage and kids and still do. We’re both fully aware of the risks of having kids later in life and have discussed them openly, still hope to try for a family in spite of them. I haven’t yet figured out if I’ll be with him forever – it’s only been 6 weeks. One issue in particular concerns me, his tendency to SPEND, versus my tendency to SAVE. Though he owns his own home and in some ways is financially stronger than I am, he spends money like it grows on trees, buys and gives me presents (jewelry, clothes, stuff for my house, huge bouquets of flowers) almost every time I see him, has some debt and zero savings, all of which concerns me a lot. But he’s a pretty darn good guy, and however long it lasts, our time together has been absolutely sparkling and delightful. The number of things we have in common and how easily we click is the best of my life. As for positive versus negative thinking, even scientific research has shown that positive visualization, prayer, and other forms of strong positive focus WORK. Even brainiacs Einstein and Tesla talked about how every thought sends out a measurable, physical, biochemical impulse and you cannot help but attract like thoughts/thinkers/experiences/things. Essentially, what you obsessively focus on will come to be. I’ve been playing with this for a couple years now, and have been quite blown away by how powerful it is. I no longer fixate on dismal odds and negative aspects of things. I did my best to ignore the 99% of undesirable prospects on dating sites, and get excited about the 1% who showed real potential. I fixate obsessively on the wonderful things I want to attract in my life, and more and more, I’m spinning up nearly miraculous turns of events fully in line with my thoughts, visualizations, and words. I suggest you give it a try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) LOL! Could be. Never know. I don't think the women were jumping up and down like lunatics. They were probably chatting to each other and laughing and perhaps dancing around a bit to the music. They looked fun to be with all smiles and their hair flowing around their shoulders. I guess it's more about that then how actually attractive you are. I mean yeah it doesn't hurt to have a pretty face and a sexy figure but if you're standing still all stone faced and serious nobody will want to speak to you. The young women were doing it on purpose to prove a point and were jumping up and down holding hands like five year olds. Every guy in the place suddenly became interested in them. It was pathetic. But my point is that older women who are appropriately animated and energetic can still get interest from men. You know, most of us, including me, are pretty tired and limpy. An older women who dresses nice and still looks like she'e enjoy a laugh and a drink can attract older men who may be looking for a fun companion. I've only known a couple of women like this though. Edited January 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I thought being bitter and negative about romantic relationships would affect only those relationships. I fail to see how that would adversely affect your other relationships directly. It can, because people generally tune out someone who is bitter and negative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 But my point is that older women who are appropriately animated and energetic can still get interest from men. You know, most of us, including me, are pretty tired and limpy. An older women who dresses nice and still looks like she'e enjoy a laugh and a drink can attract older men who may be looking for a fun companion. I've only known a couple of women like this though. It's a good point. I'm athletic and have the energy and stamina of a teenager, wear girly dresses and do my hair and makeup nice. On New Year's Eve, my man and I were dancing our butts off and partying till 2:00 am. When we get sporty together, we go hard and long. At least a dozen women told me it was adorable to see us having such a blast together on that dance floor. One of his best friends of decades said he's never seen him so happy and excited 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I watched this and I cracked up. Have you ever seen the fakeness that young women display today? I'm talking about 22 and 23 year olds who abound with Fake hair, wigs, extensions, fake nails, fake butts, fake boobs, pounds and pounds of makeup and fake eyelashes, fake teeth. It's out of control. I mean, they've got the old ladies beat by a loooooong shot in covering up their "real self". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I live a life of isolation more or less, the only means I have with connecting with others is the internet and that's been ... Less than successful. If your lifestyle is not working for you, change it. You're single and childless. You can live any way you want to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 If your lifestyle is not working for you, change it. You're single and childless. You can live any way you want to. I agree. It sounds like a peaceful existence. And it's not an age thing. Honestly, OP I'm older than you and men are interested in me all the time. In fact I'd say most men who I speak with are interested in me. I can tell from their eye contact, how they try to prolong conversations, ask me questions and a lot of the time say things that are in that grey area. Maybe because I'm working now I'm seeing it a lot. When I wasn't working this didn't happen as much. OP get a job where you're around more men. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 OP get a job where you're around more men. maybe she can become a pole-dancer at a posh strip club? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I understand the realities very well. I would absolutely 100% teach any daughter of mine to try to find the right man, get married, and start her family in her 20s. I wish someone had taught me this. That surprises me. I'm older than you, have a young adult daughter. Her mother and I raised her exactly the opposite. We taught her to spend her young years to explore who she was, develop herself, apply what she'd learned, follow the path that opened up when she followed her heart. If that turned out to be "find the right man and get married," OK, as long as that was her real heart's desire. In our opinion young women did not need to be taught to "find the right man, get married, start a family" as it's been culturally pretty much foisted upon women for millennia. Heck, read these boards, we're constantly bombarded with opinions about how women are "wasting their youth" by not getting right down to procreation ASAP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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