madster Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Like half of the people on this site, I too suffer from social anxiety and have done my time on medication, but it has not worked (surprisingly enough). So, now I’m trying to cope with it by making myself stronger through books and support from loved ones. But I have a problem: I love my Fiancé with all my heart, he's been by my side through the roughest year of my life; but, there has been a wall standing in between us because of my insecurity, trust issues, mood swings, lack of communication (need I go on?). I'm trying ever so hard to open up about how hard it is for me to deal with my emotions. I feel, though, that every time I explain, it draws him farther and farther away because it's becoming more evident that I might be emotionally unstable for a relationship; I try to find some excuse to why I feel that way because even I don't know. He is a very strong man with a big heart and I would hope that he would have the patience for me, but patience is not enough for me. I need understanding and support through this rough time. Sometimes I would get so impatient with myself, or so angry with myself, I would take the anger out on him and belittle him in public! He does not deserve that and I do not want to end up a miserable nagging wife that is to unstable to hold a decent positive conversation with her husband! I want to be able to open up to him about everything without bringing in my mood swings and excuses that effect my communication toward him.. what do I say? How do I say it... wh...should I buy him flowers? Or is there something more deep and meaningful that I should say that would be significant? I know a lot of young women out there feel the same way, or feel the same way but don’t recognize it. But I have come to the conclusion that if you recognize your anxiety, mood swings and repetitive insecurities in the relationship, you can easily fix it with your partner (it's just the act of communicating in a positive and fulfilling manner to get the point across). So the major question about this is what do I say? and What do I do? How do I communicate to the man I never knew I could love so much? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Try speaking to eachother through instant message for a while. This way, you think it and then you type it. Or write a letter to him and just open up, spill it all out. Sit beside him while he reads it and ask him to write you back. Just afew idea's that might help you out until you feel comfortable and ready to talk face to face. You realize the issues you have are yours, not his and with this knowledge you know not to blow things out of portion. That's a good thing as we all know that anxiety can really mess with the head! Be as honest as you can with him and I'm sure he'll respond the same way back to you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Why not print out what you've written and give it to him? If you want to hide the fact that you posted it here, rewrite it so that it's just your thoughts on paper. Link to post Share on other sites
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