suzie sweet Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Briefly we seperated 3mths ago my fault, suffering with depression stuck in a rut, we had debts so hubby working all time and me stuck in the house with 2 kids,no sex life. Feeling i was trapped in a bubble a diffrent person i changed and admitted i had strong feelings for a friend of ours and i was having an affair. I was confused knew it was wrong but felt i had both of them as my hubby new where i was going while he was sitting at home watching tv instead of putting up a fight for me, he did say he tried but i wudnt listen.It all ended in a huge row and he left.Since then ive told him how sorry i am for treating him like sh... id made a mistake and i still love him, my bubble has burst and i can focus on wot happened.He keeps telling me ive changed (for the better) cos im trying to win him back,i have no contact with the om, my hubby is down all the time for tea with the kids etc and we get on better that ever he`s living with his parents and has our 3 yr old overnight regulary.I know he must be hurting and he is enjoying his freedom without the nagging wife he even stated its great having no one telling him wot to do anymore and he seems happy enough BUT IM NOT.My question today is why does he keep saying "i cud never go back to that" We were discussing our 3 yr old as she took it bad daddy leaving and i told him yesterday the health visitor suggests a cycoligist(baby counselling), he blames me for this and i got the feeling he thought i was hinting for him to come back for the sake of our 3yr old so she wudnt suffer anymore. I never mentioned anything like it but he satrted saying it again "I cud never go back to that way of life i felt like i was in a ball and chain, i cudnt breathe etc" . I can see how i treat him bad and ive admitted this and i know i can change cos i love him deeply ive realised all that,hes even noticed my changes himself. So why does he keep stating this point??? Is it cos he want me to say "Please cum bak it wudnt be like that anymore" ? Or is he trying to drum it into me theres no way he`d ever cum bak? I asked him at the very beginning and he said no but time has moved on now and i darnt ask again cos im frightened of rejection but i cant move on with my life and its hard getting over him when he`s never away from our kids and home. PLEASE HELP....... Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 He is seeing that he is happier without you. I hate to say this but you ruined it. Ny ex begs me to come back all the time but she should have thought about that before she cheated. Sit him down and really apologize forthe way you treated him and try to win him back. It might not work but give it a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Yeah, you pretty much killed it. I am sure that he has feelings for you still, but that doesn't mean much when the nagging etc, is gone. I wish you luck, as you have a major uphill battle ahead of you. I think he is saying what he is saying because he knows it probably hurts you and he is trying get back at you for cheating on him. And if it were me, I wouldn't take you back. Nothing personal, but cheating is death for a relationship as far as I am concerned. But he may be different....If you want him, work at it and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 If I am happier alone than with a certain person I will choose to be alone. A woman is only worth it to me if her presence in my life increases my happiness. So far my new girlfriend does and that is why I am with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author suzie sweet Posted September 16, 2005 Author Share Posted September 16, 2005 Yeah, you pretty much killed it. I am sure that he has feelings for you still, but that doesn't mean much when the nagging etc, is gone. I wish you luck, as you have a major uphill battle ahead of you. I think he is saying what he is saying because he knows it probably hurts you and he is trying get back at you for cheating on him. And if it were me, I wouldn't take you back. Nothing personal, but cheating is death for a relationship as far as I am concerned. But he may be different....If you want him, work at it and see what happens. I know wot you mean Moai cos it happened in my 1st marriage my ex husband went off with my sister and that was the death for us but a year later i gave him a 2nd chance and everything was fine untill he did it again with her THEN THE DEATH WAS FINAL. I always thought everyone makes mistakes and deserves a 2nd chance especially if huge regretts etc Link to post Share on other sites
Author suzie sweet Posted September 16, 2005 Author Share Posted September 16, 2005 If I am happier alone than with a certain person I will choose to be alone. A woman is only worth it to me if her presence in my life increases my happiness. So far my new girlfriend does and that is why I am with her. Im glad to see youve found happiness again, so how long dit it take for you to move on after your past hurt? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Im glad to see youve found happiness again, so how long dit it take for you to move on after your past hurt? A while. I pretty much had a vendetta against the female gender but I am learning to let go of the anger. I think my hateful stage helped me grow my spine though and now I have moved on to a much happier place but I still have my spine intact. The new girlfriend is great. She is 15 years my senior but I have never connected with a woman this well. I can just feel something magical with her. I can't even explain it. I am leaving tonight and I won't be back for a month and she doesn't even nag me about it. She took off today so we can spend some time together before I leave. Link to post Share on other sites
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