Voluntary D-Day..how did you do it?

[pepperbird]

op,

it sounds as if this guy has been part of your life for a long time, and not a beneficial one.

 

About your husband, I'm nearly always in the camp of telling. It's the honest thing to do, and it's also better coming from you than someone else. I know there's a common belief among WS that the BS will never find out, but that's not really realistic.

 

If you're still confused, try reversing the roles. If your H had been seeing another woman behind your back for all this time, what would you want him to do? How would you feel ? Would you want to know?

[stillafool]

At this point, I just feel he deserves the truth and for him to find somebody else if need be. I was not a good wife the last 4 years with this largely EA. I feel guilty of robbing him of what he could have and not being able to be the "present" spouse.

 

This is the best statement I've heard from a cheater in a long time. Good for you and you are right to tell him and let him move on.

[Mr. Lucky]

I think the best move would be to talk to a IC and then ask IC if you can bring H in to talk about 1. divorce and 2. if need be, affair.

 

The IC will know how to do this is a neutral way. They have seen many, many couples go through this and all sorts of repairable and non-repairable things.

 

I think this is just stalling. The OP knows what needs to be said, funny how easy it is to summarize something when we stick to the truth.

 

Hard to summon the courage and painful to hear, but not that difficult to know what to say...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Tristian]

Since it looks like the OP hasn't joined us for over two weeks I'll close this one up.

 

 

As always the OP can request the thread reopened via the ALERT US button.