Nice and Nicer...

[Donald Altin]

After being made fun of by my friends, I have finally decided that being Mr. Nice Guy isn't worth it. I mean, it will be extremely difficult to change , but i'm done with being the one who is treated like crap

 

A few of my friends literally treat woman like dirt. Cheat on them, lie to them, brush them off, put them down, and on and on. Funny thing is, the girls keep coming back to them.

 

Well, many people say, you don't want girls like that anyway. Whats the difference betweeen some girl who acts nice, does everything right, and then never returns your calls and brushes you off, because, well, i don't know why.

 

I figure I will treat girls with no respect and like dirt from now on, at least i'll have a date on saturday night,

 

Donald.

[Tony T]

Well, unfortunately the technique won't work for you. Women can tell a real bxstard from a fake one any day of the week.

 

You are much better off being nice, but just not too nice. Don't call these ladies so much, don't be so predictable, don't return their calls so quickly all the time and don't call them as often as you would like. Make your calls brief at times and always be the one to end the conversations.

 

The most important thing is don't be predictable.

 

Nice guys make awfully bad creaps. It looks really phony. Whoever you are, you have to be genuine. It will be much easier and lots more productive if you work on being a more skilled nice person than a rotten jerk. And you are lots more likely to find a sane, decent lady.

 

If you do what I say, you will find a classy, educated lady who will respect you and treat you properly. If you just start acting like a dork, you'll be more of a loser than you perceive yourself to be now.

[Donald Altin]

Thanks for the advice. Problem is, maybe in the past, I've called a little too quickly, or maybe i treated the girl a little to nice at the start, but that was before. I am still the "Nice Guy" but not a puppy dog.

 

Problem is, it still hasn't worked. I played the don't call too soon routine and called a little over a week later, and the girl gave me a story about if i had called earlier, but now she has a bf. Or the ignore the girl routine, which never has worked for me.

 

Maybe it's because the only girls i go out with are the girls my friends set me up with or girls i meet either with my friends at bars or from my friends gf's friends.

 

I really don't know. Recently I met a nice girl, all on my own, at a bar, went out with her a couple of times, and everything seemed to be going well. She said she liked me and wanted to see me and we talked about different things.

 

We seemed to get along, but then she totally brushed me off, and never returned my calls, and never answered her phone, ever. So i stopped calling after 5 days. She never called back. I really don't get it. I didn't act like a puppy dog, i treated her nice, she treated me nice,

 

I think the issue bothering me is, whats the point, i mean if i act like a jerk, at least i'll have people to talk to.

 

You state a nice educated girl, one of my friends treats these woman like crap and they keep coming back. He goes out with lawyers, doctors, business woman, etc etc etc. It's not like they are street corner woman, i'm just started to think, maybe being nice is the wrong way to be.

 

Donald.

[Miss Mojo]

....get me a bucket.

[Miss Mojo]

i'm just started to think, maybe being nice is the wrong way to be.

 

why don't you just be yourself?? honestly, THAT is what attracts DECENT chicks....you seem to have had an unfortunate run here. things won't get any better if you act like a jerk. i'll let you in on a few of things, from a girl's point of view:

 

1. the majority of girls DO NOT find jerks attractive...there are just a few suckers out there who don't realise how much they are stroking a (selfish) guys ego.

 

2. if you think you will find a great girl by being a jerk *think again*....you will only continue to attract chicks who you will find such a turn-off and you will continue in this vicious circle of unsatisfying relationships with women.

 

3. if you act like a jerk, you'll have less people to talk to. jerks are the kind of people that 99% of us will run away from.

 

4. stand out among these jerk friends of yours by being yourself...with a little patience, you'll be the envy of their crappy relationships.

 

good luck!

[Tammie]

That's fine.

 

You won't have any dates with any cool chicks like me.

 

Or deal with anyone who has a self-esteem or emotional maturity

 

There's a difference between being a nice guy and being a human doormat.

 

I only like nice guys.

 

The problem is that, ofttimes, they are not as nice as they seem at first.

[Tammie]

You state a nice educated girl, one of my friends treats these woman like crap and they keep coming back. He goes out with lawyers, doctors, business woman, etc etc etc. It's not like they are street corner woman, i'm just started to think, maybe being nice is the wrong way to be.

Just because you have a good job/ career (male or female) does not mean you have a clue about relationships or a healthly self-esteem when it comes to the opposite sex.

 

Also, the girl you met may have met another guy, or had been seeing another guy at the same time and decided on the other guy and was not about to spell it out for you. Guys do it all the time with girls. You just go on and try not to take it personally.

[Donald Altin]

I don't believe that statement. I had a conversation with one of my friends gf the other night. And she told me don't overdo it. Don't go all out for a while. Take her to a small restaurant, etc.

You stated that not all guys are as nice as they seem.

 

I have a problem with this statement because, not all girls are as innocent as they want us to believe.

 

I'm not putting any gender down, because we both do it, male and female, and what we seem to do is judge people rather quickly, nice or mean.

 

Sometimes we put up barriers so thick that, when somebody nice does come around, we don't even realize it until it's too late.

 

Donald.

[Tammie]

YUP. It's true. Humans are a weird lot. SO many people blatantly lie about themselves and others just aren't honest with themselves.

You stated that not all guys are as nice as they seem.

YUP. Especially the ones who keep saying how 'nice' they are. Never believe anyone who says how 'innocent' (or whatever)they are. It's like they are trying to convince themslves and you. Also, everyone's definition of innocent is different. Some 'nice' people are the same ones someone else would call jerks (male and female).

 

I have a problem with this statement because, not all girls are as innocent as they want us to believe.

'Innocent'? That sounds like someone a little dumb like a lamb. Who the hell wants someone innocent? Does that mean like a little girl? I don't get that. What IS 'innocent'? I'm not sure about the meaning of this....

 

I'm not putting any gender down, because we both do it, male and female, and what we seem to do is judge people rather quickly, nice or mean.

YUP. Humans judge everything. Or maybe it's a taste preference. If one has no opinions or preferences, it either means that they haven't experienced a lot, or just don't have a clue with what they are looking for in a person.

Sometimes we put up barriers so thick that, when somebody nice does come around, we don't even realize it until it's too late.

Barriers? Or boundaries. I prefer boundaries. One needs healthy boundaries. That's true I believe, because so many people have been hurt and are wary. That's normal behavior (except in the extreme or abusive barriers). But one can't rush anything. If it's too late, or one realizes it too late, it was not meant to be. Most times people don't realize it.

 

Cheers