Struggling to get over her

[Johnmack]

Met my ex nearly 4 years ago, we were friends for a while then started getting close and closer! Finally started a relationship that ended in October, we both made mistakes and had 2/3 big fights but got past these and everything seemed great until the last week when she seemed distant then split up with me.

 

She used an excuse of a past thing I had done as the reason why so for months I blamed and hated myself. I was drunk at new year and texted her telling her how i was angry at how she had reacted since, name-calling etc and heard she had already started talking to someone new! I don’t get how a 2 year relationship can end and she seemed not bothered and could move on so easily! It’s not even been 3 months and I’m still struggling!

 

She said she used the excuse but she left because she didn’t feel the same and needed space. This doesn’t seem honest either because why say that then start talking to a new man! I’m just really confused and I really miss this girl, I know I need to let go but the memories and everything we had is still always on my mind! Can anyone suggest for help me try understand this more?

Edited January 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Garcon1986]

Welcome to LS.

 

 

Sorry to hear you are hurting. The first thing is to incorporate mandatory happiness in your life - do activities you enjoy for yourself and make it a routine. Be with family and relatives too. In a few months, you will start to see it make a dent in your mood. The amount of time it takes is different for different people.

 

 

Next thing - delete your physical artifacts of your last relationship. Do it all at once so it minimizes the pain.

 

 

Next thing - take those lessons your ex shared with you to heart - women and men too often fight over the way they communicate, meaning the inherent communication differences between a man and a woman. You need to be able to fight fair and be able to decipher what a woman wants when she says it indirectly, and be able to interpret what it's like living in a world of emotions. This will do wonders for your next relationship. I would finish the book Mars and Venus on a date, in its entirety.

[Normm]

Getting drunk and calling her names was the final straw.

 

 

 

Don't underestimate how much damage those hurtful words can do.

 

 

 

Get a grip on your drinking and your anger issues and be a better person going forward. Do it for yourself, and for any women you meet in the future, don't do it to try to "get her back". Maybe she'll give you another chance down the line but that's up to her, you can't force the issue nor should you try.

[Johnmack]

Getting drunk and calling her names was the final straw.

 

 

 

Don't underestimate how much damage those hurtful words can do.

 

 

 

Get a grip on your drinking and your anger issues and be a better person going forward. Do it for yourself, and for any women you meet in the future, don't do it to try to "get her back". Maybe she'll give you another chance down the line but that's up to her, you can't force the issue nor should you try.

 

Sorry I wasn’t clear, I never called her names, I had heard stuff she had said about me and called her out on it! I only drank because it was new year, I’m in control and don’t have a problem

[Johnmack]

Welcome to LS.

 

 

Sorry to hear you are hurting. The first thing is to incorporate mandatory happiness in your life - do activities you enjoy for yourself and make it a routine. Be with family and relatives too. In a few months, you will start to see it make a dent in your mood. The amount of time it takes is different for different people.

 

 

Next thing - delete your physical artifacts of your last relationship. Do it all at once so it minimizes the pain.

 

 

Next thing - take those lessons your ex shared with you to heart - women and men too often fight over the way they communicate, meaning the inherent communication differences between a man and a woman. You need to be able to fight fair and be able to decipher what a woman wants when she says it indirectly, and be able to interpret what it's like living in a world of emotions. This will do wonders for your next relationship. I would finish the book Mars and Venus on a date, in its entirety.

 

I don’t feel like I have it in me to delete the photos and messages, I don’t read or look at them anymore but I don’t want to delete them as it was part of my life and I hope maybe to look back one day and not cry ?

 

I agree tho, I think communication was a big problem, we never spoke about or issues until a big fight and even when we made up we never truly spoke properly about them so it recurred a few times, until the last time when it seemed like we had finally got everything out in the open and could move forward, our last couple months where probably some of the best we had which I think it’s harder as I never saw this coming

[preraph]

By the time she left, she had already lost feelings for you. Once that happens, there is nothing you can do. It's over. Women are run by their emotions and how much they trust you and being happy in their brain. They're not run on getting sex.

 

It was already emotionally over for her when it finally ended, and she has moved on. She's done. She isn't wondering or wanting closure and just wanted it to be over. Sorry, but you need to leave her alone now and move on as well. It's harder for the dumpee, but it must be done.

[Garcon1986]

Then its crucial you read that book. You have got to learn a woman’s rubric of communication with her man.

[manfrombelow2]

Mental discipline is all you must apply to yourself in order to deply No Contact the correct way.

 

We have all been there, brother, you're not alone in this.