Ex girlfriend is pregnant (not by me) in less than 1 year after we broke up.

[NIP]

I experimenting feelings like anger, sadness, disappointment, among others.

We broke up after we finished the university, it was me who finished the relation because in my mind I thought this was a good idea to let us have 100% to reach the next academic level.

We had write each other from time to time, not all days or all weeks, but suddenly, I wrote her and I had not answer at all.

After fer tries, I thought "she found some else" and I asked her "if you found someone else, please tell me". She never told me anything.

 

Then, I discover by her friends that she is already with someone else and pregnant. They even show me pictures with him.

 

I feel really bad. I do not know how to overcome all this.

 

After insisting with some emails, she decided to admit she is with someone else, but she doesn't tell me she's pregnant (one of her friends told me that she herself told her that she was pregnant by this guy).

 

When I mention the pregnancy, she just ignores it.

 

I'm asking her to tell me the truth, that she loves this new guy and she pregnant. But she remains in silence.

 

I need her to tell me the whole history, till then I only have bad ideas and feelings to what she has become now (I loved the old her).

I feel betrayed (even thought we werent in a relation officialy). I think I wished I huge comeback that will never separate us.

 

Does she feel bad about this? i feel like she laughing at me.

 

Note: Our break up was never ez for us. I was told that she felt depressed and sad. But i Always thought she a smart girl, she will recover.

I, with her pregnancy, among the feeling I'm having, I want to bang a girl (I will not, It feels like a bad idead, if I'm not in my 100%), which makes me think she could feel the same and that's why she ended up pregnant.

Edited January 9, 2019 by NIP

[Garcon1986]

Welcome to LS. We'll need some details on how your relationship went while you were still with her in university?

Unfortunately, women don't owe us explanations of what they do with their next boyfriend down the line. You'll have to grieve this loss, do fun things, take all her artifacts out of your life, and move on. This chapter of your life is closed mate.

 

If you share your old relationship we may be able to tell you if there was anything glaringly wrong. Breaking up so you both can put 100% into your studies seems a little weak.

 

Contacting her will only make you more anxious and angry. Treat it like someone in your family died. You will feel better one day if you take the mental discipline to move on.

[NIP]

Breaking up so you both can put 100% into your studies seems a little weak.

 

I never saw how stupid my idea was.

Edited January 9, 2019 by NIP

[preraph]

Well, if it's true, you now know that she is NOT smart at all and not mature and just let this happen for no reason and without any forethought. So I know you're hurting and feel betrayed, but after the dust settles, you have to admit that if she's this irresponsible, good thing you're not saddled with her for life. I guess first you better be sure she hasn't been pregnant long enough for it to be yours though.

[NIP]

I guess first you better be sure she hasn't been pregnant long enough for it to be yours though.

 

100% is not mine. I put so much value onto her, I feel like and idiot.

[NIP]

Right now, I feel like I had to stop her and I wasn't there to do it.

[basil67]

Right now, I feel like I had to stop her and I wasn't there to do it.

 

As you're her ex she probably wouldn't have listened to you. And you can't make choices for someone else anyway.

 

I hope she has good family support so that she can continue her education and make a career for herself while being a good mother. Unless her family is a train wreck, this shouldn't ruin her life.

[anika99]

Why are you interrogating her? You broke up with her and now you're demanding that she answer your questions and explain herself to you? Her life is none of your business. She doesn't owe you any information at all, stop harassing her.

 

Look I get that it can be painful to see an ex moving on, that's a normal feeling. Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are, but you need to get control of yourself and stop questioning her. You may like the old her better but she certainly isn't obligated to protect your memory of her. When you break up with someone then you accept that the other person will go live their life without you. You don't get to dump someone and then get indignant because they their life continues. Whether they get a new boyfriend, or get married or have a baby or move to the jungle to study primates, it's none of your business.

[RedRecluse]

Wow, that's got to be tough. I've known a lot of women who decide to have kids right after the emotional trauma of a breakup. Seems like a pattern for ladies in the 25-35 range especially. Don't take it to heart. She's not having a baby to spite you, after all. She's just trying to heal her heart in whatever way she can.

 

 

 

Let her be, and focus on your own life. It hurts, but you don't have any control over the situation, so best not dwell on it. You'll have your own family someday, if you so choose. Just think happy thoughts towards her, because being pregnant is no joke and childbirth hurts like hell.

[SophieG]

I was as in a similar situation, but in your ex’s shoes. My ex broke up with me (but I didn’t fight it since I thought our relationship came to an end). He kept contacting me, and I would reply politely, nothing more. We would always ask me how my dating life was and if I met someone else, to which I would always change the subject. At one point, he came to my place because he still had mail coming to my address. He went to the bathroom, and when he came out, he asked me if I had a new boyfriend (2 toothbrushes, male shampoo and soap in the shower)... I never answered because it is simply none of his business. We’re not together anymore and I don’t owe him anything.

So if I were you, I’d stop asking her anything. It’s her life. You decided not to be a part of it anymore and she moved on... so should you. She’s pregnant and it’s not yours, you don’t have a say in this. She will make the decision for herself (and her new boyfriend). I understand that it must hurt, but this is all out of your hands. Stop contacting her and move on with your life.

[NIP]

I was thinking this new guy is a "Rebound". Will she be happy?

[SophieG]

I was thinking this new guy is a "Rebound". Will she be happy?

 

She might be happy, who knows. He might be a rebound and he might not be. This is out of your hands and shouldn’t be your concern now. Focus on yourself and not on her.

[NIP]

Ok, she had never answer me about her pregnancy.

What would be the reasons for this? Doe she feel ashamed about it?

 

Also, they who is with her now is a divorced man with one kid. Is this what girls really want?

[SophieG]

Ok, she had never answer me about her pregnancy.

What would be the reasons for this? Doe she feel ashamed about it?

 

Also, they who is with her now is a divorced man with one kid. Is this what girls really want?

 

Why would she need to answer you... it’s none of your business, it’s hers. If I was pregnant and my ex asked me the question, I wouldn’t answer either, I don’t owe hin anything, neither does she.

He might be divorced and a father, but that’s not ALL he is. He might be a very nice and caring guy who takes care of her.

Move on!!!

[NIP]

I was as in a similar situation, but in your ex’s shoes. My ex broke up with me (but I didn’t fight it since I thought our relationship came to an end). He kept contacting me, and I would reply politely, nothing more. We would always ask me how my dating life was and if I met someone else, to which I would always change the subject. At one point, he came to my place because he still had mail coming to my address. He went to the bathroom, and when he came out, he asked me if I had a new boyfriend (2 toothbrushes, male shampoo and soap in the shower)... I never answered because it is simply none of his business. We’re not together anymore and I don’t owe him anything.

So if I were you, I’d stop asking her anything. It’s her life. You decided not to be a part of it anymore and she moved on... so should you. She’s pregnant and it’s not yours, you don’t have a say in this. She will make the decision for herself (and her new boyfriend). I understand that it must hurt, but this is all out of your hands. Stop contacting her and move on with your life.

Why it has to be this way? Why women just do not tell us? Why I need someone else to tell me? I think, If she just tell me the truth, it would really help me to heal.

[SophieG]

Why it has to be this way? Why women just do not tell us? Why I need someone else to tell me? I think, If she just tell me the truth, it would really help me to heal.

 

But why does she have to tell you in order for you to heal?! I don’t care what my ex does and who he sees because we’re not together, it’s none of my business. Why is it your business who she dates and if she’s pregnant or not?! What does it matter to you?!

[NIP]

But why does she have to tell you in order for you to heal?! I don’t care what my ex does and who he sees because we’re not together, it’s none of my business. Why is it your business who she dates and if she’s pregnant or not?! What does it matter to you?!

I've never decided to not be part of her life permanently. I really think if she just tell me truth it will bring peace to my thoughts.

[elaine567]

Why it has to be this way? Why women just do not tell us? Why I need someone else to tell me? I think, If she just tell me the truth, it would really help me to heal.

 

She is not your keeper, she owes you nothing, YOU dumped her.

It is up to you to heal yourself..

When you dump someone, you are not entitled to anything from them.

[elaine567]

I've never decided to not be part of her life permanently.

When you dump someone, they move on and away from you.

It is how it works

[WomenWubber]

She is now your ex and probably was too when she got pregnant. This shouldn't concern you at all and quite frankly she has no obligation and probably no care to give you a response.

 

Be glad she's not expecting your child.

[NIP]

It is like you girls, want us to suffer even more. I'n not sure if these are the main reasons. I would like know some sort of logic behind it.

[SophieG]

It is like you girls, want us to suffer even more. I'n not sure if these are the main reasons. I would like know some sort of logic behind it.

 

How does it make you suffer more?! She’s your ex, cut the contact and move on. It has nothing to do with you, it’s just none of your business.

I don’t understand your logic or needing to know it. What will it change if she has a new boyfriend or if she’s pregnant?! What impact will it have on your healing process?

[NIP]

How does it make you suffer more?! She’s your ex, cut the contact and move on. It has nothing to do with you, it’s just none of your business.

I don’t understand your logic or needing to know it. What will it change if she has a new boyfriend or if she’s pregnant?! What impact will it have on your healing process?

I will stop trying to find any chances of a huge "Comeback" from which we will never separate again.

[SophieG]

I will stop trying to find any chances of a huge "Comeback" from which we will never separate again.

 

Even if she’s not dating, she might not come back. I don’t see how her dating life changes anything for you. You broke up with her, let her be and move on.

[NIP]

Even if she’s not dating, she might not come back. I don’t see how her dating life changes anything for you. You broke up with her, let her be and move on.

I know she's pregnant. I think she want me to just watch her one day pregnant by someone else. I think she lost respect to me and do not want to do the same. I do not want her to destroy they image I have of her. Why this have to end having bad feelings to each other.