LittleMV Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) Hoping someone out there can help me out.... I've been in a complicated situation for a while. I don't want to go into details but the gist of it is that I'm into a guy, but I'm his client. I've tried for a long time to move on from my feelings because I just don't want drama, I don't want to create drama for him. I tried to stop seeing him, I lasted about 6 months till circumstances put me back into his orbit. I've been able to be pretty level headed with it all up until the last 2 months because he's been showing more obvious signs that there is something mutual going on. I know I can get carried away with these things from past experiences, I've done A LOT of work on myself to learn how to keep my wits about me, and I've been REALLY careful to make sure I'm not reading into it too much, but he's really been more obvious. I was in a long-term relationship, and was married... so I know when I see 'that look' from a person when they are into you. There are times he gives off that vibe of wanting to get closer or being extra caring and attentive (all in situations where he doesn't need to be or hasn't in the past). Lately, he's been lingering after appointments, keeping the conversation going for long... anyway, I won't list all the signs.... I've learned to detach from my feelings so I can manage my mental and emotional health, but...he showed a part of himself when I saw him a few days ago that was really endearing and I could see how passionate of a person he is about his interests... He was really showing a lot more of himself than he has ever before, and it just cut through the walls I was building up and now I can't stop thinking about him. I don't like this cycle of detaching myself and then falling deep, it's too much. I've figured that it is best for my mental, emotional and physical health to just tell him, rather than hold it in. I need help in strategising the best way to do it...Around him, I become USELESS when it comes to having a coherent conversation. I have such a fear of exposing my feelings to him that I tend not to say a lot, I don't give him much through my words...I'm so scared of being 'found out'. Literally, that last appointment, I was so taken back by the way he was talking, the things he was sharing, getting to see a whole new dimension to him that I just couldn't function. I would say 'awesome' everytime he said something... WTF is wrong with me............. Fear has really gripped me. My idea is to tell him I need to talk to him, but don't feel safe doing so 'here' (at his work). My worst fear is he says he doesn't want to meet up with me outside of work (because that means I won't get to tell him). Regardless, I don't know how to define what I feel and how to communicate it. I feel really drawn to him, and I want to spend more time getting to know him so I can discover what it is I feel. It's something between a crush and being full on in love. I don't want it to be a declaration when I tell him, just want it to be something like "hey, this is how I feel. It makes it hard to keep this client-based relationship going. I'm not asking for anything, though I wouldn't say no to something more. You don't need to respond, but I needed to tell you and be honest." The part where I have to describe how I feel is what I'm having trouble with. Edited January 10, 2019 by LittleMV Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Assuming it goes wrong, can you afford to lose him as a client? How about those in his business circle, can you survive losing them too? There's an awful lot of good reasons to let this go, but perhaps you're not interested in hearing them. Based on your post, your feelings for him must be pretty obvious. Why do you think he hasn't made a move? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Just scanned too long but with that and Mr Luckies yeah l'm wondering to why you should be expressing anything , drop a few coffee hints mild flirts or something if that hasn't happened yet, if he is interested he'd be taking that up. Knew one guy that got mixed up with someone at work though and it blew his career to bits for a few yrs later when it turned to shyt so yeah now l'd say to anyone make sure you got thing's covered in that area . Link to post Share on other sites
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