It started with a Facebook like...

[Elpida.]

This sounds ridiculously childish, but I feel like it transpired into a bigger issue I’d like to hear thoughts on. Started dating a guy and things were going well. He went through a phase of going out partying with his friends all the time which kind of irked me but he mellowed out and we see each other frequently and are in constant communication throughout the day.

 

We are together now exclusively for around 7 months and talk about the future.

 

Yesterday, a beautiful blonde woman popped up in my Facebook news feed and I saw he’d liked her picture. When I saw her profile, I just had no idea who she was and where she came from.

Me asking him about it may have been insecure in itself but I was curious so I asked who she was.

 

Our conversation was like this :

 

Him: A friend

Me: Oh a friend from where? I’ve never seen her before

Him: A friend! How have you found her? Are you spying on me?

Me: Um no, but is this a normal reaction?

Him: It’s a long story I’ll tell you tomorrow!

Me: Oh right

Him: I just met her while I was out with friends, her and some other people joined us and she added me on Facebook. They are friends of friends.

Me: I see, I never heard about that. Do you speak to her?

Him: No. This was several months ago, she just messaged me to say Happy Christmas and again to say Happy Birthday.

 

Now I don’t know if I’m overreacting but that seems odd to be. Also I then looked and I cannot find any mutual friends between her and my boyfriend despite what he says.

 

Obviously he can have female friends, I couldn’t care less when it’s female friends I have met and know about but I find it random I never even heard of her and also his reaction.

 

If he asked me who a guy was, I’d respond instantly because what’s the big deal? "Oh that's X from Y - cool guy!"

I also go to a lot of networking events and regularly meet both men and women but I’ll openly tell him about it and chat to him after.

 

Am I overreacting? He has reiterated over and over that he is not interested in this woman and said they do not speak, and that he will happily delete her if I want, and that it was just a Facebook like. If he had said “Oh she’s just a friend of X” in the first place I would have been okay but I feel strange.

 

I should also add that he's not on the side of apologizing for the misunderstanding, but of being now in a mood with me for "stalking" him *eyeroll* We are meeting tomorrow but he's being grumpy with me now.

[SophieG]

I personally wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place, she’s a Facebook friend, it doesn’t mean anything. I have plenty of FB friends that I’ve seen maybe once or twice in real life (some people just add anybody). Yes he was irritated when you kept asking questions, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s hiding something IMO.