TheRainbow Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 As many probably know, I had my daughter 3 months premature. She is three weeks old now, doing all right. Also, many of you know I am/was a serial cheater in my marriage. In may it came to light my middle daughter wasn't mine. So it has been a very tiring year, mostly from my own doing, and from things out of my control. This past Monday after a month hiatus I returned to therapy. I just feel kind of selfish. I know it's for the best for mental health, for the benefit of repairing my marriage, but with everything going on, I feel like I should postpone it. I have so much on my plate, with going back and forth to the NICU. My older two daughter's miss me, and I'm struggling to juggle everything. My husband commented that he is noticing since our daughter's birth that I've been particularly down in the dumps. We both brushed it off with everything that is going on, but it's true. I had severe postpartum depression with my first, so it's a huge possibility I'm feeling it again. It kind of feels like I'm going through the motions, and feeling so guilty over things I can't control. I have this uncontrollable fear I can't describe lingering. I have a follow-up appointment with my ObGyn to discuss how I am feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 The single best thing you can do for your family is give them a healthy wife/mother. Go back to therapy. They will be able to manage without you for an hour. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted January 11, 2019 Author Share Posted January 11, 2019 Thanks that is what I needed to hear. I'm also going to get checked for postpartum depression as well. Link to post Share on other sites
GinON Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 WOW, I had no idea from the one other post I saw you in but to echo BailyB, please continue therapy! I think I have said this before but your brain is the most important part of your body and it must be healthy! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Go back to therapy. They will be able to manage without you for an hour. As usual, spot on. Little you could do in that brief time yielding a bigger return. TheRainbow, you've made a lot of progress. Don't stop now... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Hi OP Glad to hear the baby is doing well. Mrs. Dude Adides and I recently were talking through a small problem we were having and somehow got around to discussing the birth of our first child. My wife suddenly said to me that she thinks that she was going through postpartum back then and wonders how we never connected the dots and sought treatment for her. Those were some rough times for us and we made it through, but in retrospect it might have been much easier for both of us if we had some help. It all seems so obvious in hindsight but while in the middle of it? Not so much. Best wishes for you and your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 op, You've got a lot on your plate right now. It's no wonder you need some time to decompress during therapy. Looking after your own mental health will allow you to be in the best possible place to care for your baby and family. As the saying goes, " caregivers need care too". Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Therapy is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself and your family at this time. As well as looking into PPD and seeing if you may need medication to help with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Agree on continuing therapy. My son was born a month early and I know how stressful it is going to the NICU, and then after the baby is home. I started to talking to a counselor and it was so, so helpful. I was feeling so overwhelmed and helpless and she was so positive and focused. Your baby will be fine without you for an hour...you can even ask if it's okay to bring the baby (my counselor was fine with that and he was small and young enough that it worked out). Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 op, one more thing to keep in mind. If you are feeling depressed and overwhelmed, it's really important to seek help, not just for yourself, but for your children's future. I know that might sound odd, but I say that because mental illness ( depression, etc.) is really common, but there is so much stigma surrounding it. Seeing their mom being brave enough to seek help will teach your kids, by example, that there is absolutely no shame whatsoever in needing to reach out in a time of crisis. If more people did that, it could save a lot of heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 I had an appointment with my doctor. And I was dianosed with post partum depression which I had suspected. I'm on antidepressants and I should hopefully start feeling better in a week or two. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I had an appointment with my doctor. And I was dianosed with post partum depression which I had suspected. I'm on antidepressants and I should hopefully start feeling better in a week or two. I'm very glad that you received some help. Antidepressants can take longer than a week to work. Be patient with the medication as well as yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 I know it can take up to 6 to 8 weeks. I know it did with my first. But after a week or two, it starts to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Therapy is your oxygen mask ... to take a analogy from plane flight. You got a lot on your plate? That's when you need therapy! ... Tip: depression (I don't mean this against you) really destroys logical thinking ... because our brain will find everything we do faulty ... The idea that you can't go to therapy (now if you don't like your therapist that's different) because you're busy ... is sorta like a cancer patient saying she can't go to visit her doctor because she's busy. You want to use the antidepressants and your own mind strategies for depression. Keep going! Your logic will clear up most likely when the antidepressants kick in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted January 20, 2019 Author Share Posted January 20, 2019 Thanks, I've allready booked six weeks of my usual Monday session in advance. She is a good therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
Cullenbohannon Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 My wife has said a prayer for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Peppa Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 I’m sorry things are difficult for you right now. Why do you say that your middle daughter is not yours? I understand that she is not your husband’s child, but why don’t you consider her to be yours? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 . Why do you say that your middle daughter is not yours? That was a typo. IT should have said not my husbands. Link to post Share on other sites
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