carhill Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Social media wasn't as big a deal back when I was married but in general I wasn't my wife's prison warden, she did what she wanted. I get some guys control their wives with power or money or violence or 'boundaries', meaning lists of rules, but that wasn't my cuppa for an adult relationship. If she wanted to fck some other guy there was zero I could do about it besides let her know my feelings about it and divorce her if she did. Women chat with everyone. It's what they do. It's how they relate to the world, through communication. If they love their spouse or partner and value their relationship/marriage, then they'll chat with that in mind. If not, not. As plenty of married men and women have told me over the decades, they're married not dead. Yup. If, when married, I was forced to analyze every one of the dozens if not hundreds of relationships my wife had, even contact with her ex-husband regarding the dog they shared from their marriage, heck I wouldn't have had my own life to live. I trusted her to do the right thing by our marriage. Overall, I think she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 how do you feel about married men/women chatting with people of the opposite sex on FB/Whatsapp/Viber whatever way? Spending time and energy on someone, sharing things with them.. creating a bond... is this okay to do or will you be unhappy if your spouse did it? I have no problem with my H having friends, online or offline. Nor does their sex matter to me. And if they want to stay with us, no problem - we have the space, and it’s also an opportunity for me to get to know them. We’ve done that, both with a young woman friend of his (now, ours) and also with friends of mine (now, ours). I don’t see why it would be a problem unless he was taking energy or investment from our relationship to invest in that one, in which case my concern would be about our R rather than his friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 and if the spouse is not okay with the chatting.... and the partner continues doing so ...? Then the partner is making a choice of the friend over the partner. The partner then has a choice - accept it (and deal with their jealousy) or walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
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