Garcon1986 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Then go towards happiness. Remember that I've never scored the frequent hookups that you refer to. I still came out fine in the end. Do happy things. Don't become resentful of women - it won't do you any good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Share Posted February 7, 2019 Oh I have happiness. I'm just disappointed I'll never have the love / sex life I would like. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I don't understand why you would give up now. Over the weekend (?) you met two women and had sex with one. That seems pretty decent to me. What you are experiencing is dating. You aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea and it's not uncommon to go on one date and have it go nowhere after that. It's just part of the process. I honestly think your expectations are too high. It's all a numbers game. Just keep plugging away. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 What exactly is the sex life and love life you’d like to have?! I feel like your comparing yourself to guys that had a lot of sexual partners in their life and can get woman super easily... but not everyone is like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Gosh... you got laid and had a few dates and 350 matches. That’s what happens to most of us. Dating is hard, even when you do get dates. You have to be persistent. Not sure why you’re giving up. If everyone who didn’t get a partner fast gave up — there would be no one left. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Share Posted February 7, 2019 I don't understand why you would give up now. Over the weekend (?) you met two women and had sex with one. That seems pretty decent to me. What you are experiencing is dating. You aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea and it's not uncommon to go on one date and have it go nowhere after that. It's just part of the process. I honestly think your expectations are too high. It's all a numbers game. Just keep plugging away. Gosh... you got laid and had a few dates and 350 matches. That’s what happens to most of us. Dating is hard, even when you do get dates. You have to be persistent. Not sure why you’re giving up. If everyone who didn’t get a partner fast gave up — there would be no one left. Just a fluke. What exactly is the sex life and love life you’d like to have?! I feel like your comparing yourself to guys that had a lot of sexual partners in their life and can get woman super easily... but not everyone is like that. I would like to have the option to be that guy. Anyway, creating a troll Tinder account for the fun of it. Basically takes the cake at common things women put in their bio as well as photoshopped pictures of me. Tired of being a good man as we're not valued / loved in this modern world; time to go the opposite way. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I would like to have the option to be that guy And I would like to be a supermodel paid millions... but I don’t have the body or the face for it. I don’t understand your need to have multiple one night stand and fwb... you’re not unattractive or unsuccessful with women, you’re just not the player and f*ckboy you’d like to be... and honestly, that’s just a sad goal to have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 (edited) <snip> Anyway, creating a troll Tinder account for the fun of it. Basically takes the cake at common things women put in their bio as well as photoshopped pictures of me. Tired of being a good man as we're not valued / loved in this modern world; time to go the opposite way. That's slightly disingenuous though because all you want to do is become what will allow you to get laid and if that means acting like a bitch you would happily do it, so being a good man is neither here nor there. I would urge you to take control of your emotions better, it all seems a bit petulant the way you swing from getting 100+ matches one day to becoming Lord of the Sith, converting to the dark side and taking your ire out on the women of Tinder the next. Are you an only child OP? It all sounds like someone who is struggling with not being able to get their own way and if they can't be allowed to win at the board game they are playing, they will pick the board up and throw it on the floor so no-one else can win. Is this how you want to come across? And trolling women on Tinder is a waste of time and the total opposite of what you should be doing. You need to invest in some mental fortitude so you don't blow up when you don't get what you want in life. Instead of making daft accounts that aren't you and trying to make women feel the way you feel (honestly, how immature is that?) use that time to improve yourself with no expectation of a pat on the back from life. Many great men achieved great things with no thanks from women. Imagine where society would be if they had your attitude and threw all their research in the bin because their only goal in life was to get laid? Be better than that OP, don't be mentally weak and define yourself by how many women you can sleep with, it's a trap made by idiots and designed for fools. Strewth. Edited February 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 What....what? You got laid? You also got a heap of matches and you're still grumbling? Heaps of people get a heap of matches which don't pan out. Is being 'normal' not good enough for you? Very few people have all they want in life...but we accept it and make the best of what we've got. That you are unwilling to do this speaks strongly of entitlement on your part. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I thought you were looking to hook up with several women? Now you're feeling disenfranchised because you got laid and nothing more will come of it? You don't seem entirely sure of what you want, but are finding that even when you get things you say/think you want, you're still feeling unfulfilled. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Share Posted February 7, 2019 I don’t understand your need to have multiple one night stand and fwb... I would like a taste of hookup culture and to expand my options (or lack thereof). A one-off fluke is not indicative of my resolving my issues. you’re not unattractive or unsuccessful with women On the contrary, I am. Every other guy I know can go out and get laid on a night out, or go on Tinder and get a date. Why...can't...I? I must not be attractive, or the guy that women want. You’re just not the player and f*ckboy you’d like to be... and honestly, that’s just a sad goal to have. I don't wish to be a player or a f*ckboy. I don't want to manipulate or use aggressive behavior to coerce women into sex. However, I would like options. I would like to be a man that women desire. I would like to increase the quality of women too, as the few I have been with...weren't so great (as you know, from our PM's). Being a good man is neither here nor there. At this point, I don't see any reason to be a "good man". Being a man who's supportive of others, empathetic, hard-working, driven, positive, loyal etc has brought to what, exactly? I can't experience love or intimacy, a fundamental human desire. What....what? You got laid? You also got a heap of matches and you're still grumbling? Heaps of people get a heap of matches which don't pan out. Is being 'normal' not good enough for you? A one-off fluke. After four years of struggling. And matches mean absolutely feck all when they don't reply, unmatch, ghost etc. I don't have the account anymore, so no matches. That you are unwilling to do this speaks strongly of entitlement on your part. I've sacrificed a lot in my life. I thought you were looking to hook up with several women? Now you're feeling disenfranchised because you got laid and nothing more will come of it? I didn't hook up with several women. I would like it to be a relatively consistent thing. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 What....what? You got laid? You also got a heap of matches and you're still grumbling? Heaps of people get a heap of matches which don't pan out. Is being 'normal' not good enough for you? Very few people have all they want in life...but we accept it and make the best of what we've got. That you are unwilling to do this speaks strongly of entitlement on your part. Actually the average man doesn't even get that. Some research discovered that it takes a truly average man around 115 right swipes to get a single match. One must fear for the suicide rate of such men as they are obviously less than human judging by OP's standards of what makes a fulfilling life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Share Posted February 7, 2019 One must fear for the suicide rate of such men as they are obviously less than human judging by OP's standards of what makes a fulfilling life. If you're going to be mean, simply stay away from the thread. That's not what I believe at all. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 If you're going to be mean, simply stay away from the thread. That's not what I believe at all. Really? It sounds like you are basing your self worth off of how desirable you are, no? The problem is that trying to coax you out of your mindset nicely seems to be having no effect so you need some tough love. You just need to put your ego aside long enough to take in the advice that I and others have been trying to give you and stop cherry picking the responses you came here looking for. And I would gently ask yourself to look in the mirror OP, you can't accuse me of being mean while you openly admit to scheming on Tinder to troll women who have done you no harm. That is mean and should be beneath you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Share Posted February 7, 2019 Really? It sounds like you are basing your self worth off of how desirable you are, no? The problem is that trying to coax you out of your mindset nicely seems to be having no effect so you need some tough love. You just need to put your ego aside long enough to take in the advice that I and others have been trying to give you and stop cherry picking the responses you came here looking for. And I would gently ask yourself to look in the mirror OP, you can't accuse me of being mean while you openly admit to scheming on Tinder to troll women who have done you no harm. That is mean and should be beneath you. How would you like it if you couldn't get women? Don't tell me it wouldn't bother you. Sex / love is all I'm asking for, a basic human need; why am I being painted as a monster for wanting this? What advice? You guys don't take me seriously. The amount of times I've had to try and prove something because I'm believed to be a liar, only to show I'm truthful, has been unreal. You sll want to believe I'm some troglodyte sitting at home not making positive changes in my life. Far from it. I'd argue I do a hell of a lot of good, both personally and towards others, and it doesn't help. As for trolling. I didn't do it in the end, wasn't going to insult women (it was just planned to be a joke profile with a few references written, like "Must be 6'2""), and a few daft images. Wow. I'm cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 How would you like it if you couldn't get women? Don't tell me it wouldn't bother you. Sex / love is all I'm asking for, a basic human need; why am I being painted as a monster for wanting this? What advice? You guys don't take me seriously. The amount of times I've had to try and prove something because I'm believed to be a liar, only to show I'm truthful, has been unreal. You sll want to believe I'm some troglodyte sitting at home not making positive changes in my life. Far from it. I'd argue I do a hell of a lot of good, both personally and towards others, and it doesn't help. As for trolling. I didn't do it in the end, wasn't going to insult women (it was just planned to be a joke profile with a few references written, like "Must be 6'2""), and a few daft images. Wow. I'm cruel. No doubt it's not easy- I should know because I was in your position and I'm trying to give you the advice that I wished I had been given. Instead I spent most of what should have been the best years of my life hating myself and everyone else because I wasn't able to have the experiences that it felt like everyone else was having. And this after I cheated on and lost the closest thing I ever had to a soul mate because I, like you, equated my self worth to the number of women who desired me. If I had more mental fortitude perhaps I might not have been so driven to cheat to try and fill the hole inside of me that craved female approval and instead just been happy with who I was and what I had. That whole way of thinking is insidious and it makes me so sad for young men today that our culture encourages the competition for notches on the bedpost as being the be all and end all ahead of what you achieve and the legacy you leave behind you. That being said you can't turn your sex drive off- but you can try and adapt and find a different solution to the problem than the quick fix you seem to be looking for. It isn't a matter of wearing a different jumper or a different aftershave. It's about investing in your future and being a great all round person and good things happening naturally when that occurs. You seem to suggest previously you have done all that so it's useless advice but I would argue that i don't see how you can because, by definition, if you had truly taken that advice on board and actioned it you would not be exhibiting the behaviour you describe on here. You would simply be enough to yourself as you are. But you aren't. You need sex to prove your worth to worth to yourself and man, that's a dark place to be. Until you have reached that point where you are comfortable in your own skin and can take or leave what women think of you then I don't think you can truly say you have understood and taken on board that living life for your benefit and not to appeal to women is how to achieve what you want. I already told you about one friend and when I think about it I can think of a couple of others who naturally had success with women- the common denominator is that they all were jusy totally at ease with themselves. You couldn't phase them or make them feel bad about themselves if you tried. That is the essence of the advice I'm giving. Be totally at ease with youraelf and the rest follows. But that is the hardest advice of all as it takes serious practice to accept yourself, feel comfortable in your own skin and happy with who you are. You have a long way to go based on your recent posts. If you can turn on Tinder, get 0 matches and see the funny side then you will know you are getting somewhere. Like I say, I wish I had been given this advice when I was younger. Come to think of it I think I was but it's hard to truly appreciate it when you are young. Your sexual urges at that time of life have a way of shouting louder than your rationality but by listening only (or even mostly) to your sex drive you are really shooting yourself in the foot. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 A month and 17 pages later, it looks like this one has run it's course. Thanks everyone for your replies. Link to post Share on other sites
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