Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 Not sure what you guys have been doing in your lives, but casual sex via online dating is a common thing. Also, the one girl who's conversation was going really well, we had mutual interests etc...just loaded up the app to see she's unmatched me... Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) Not sure what you guys have been doing in your lives, but casual sex via online dating is a common thing.<snip> I think if that's what you are looking for your approach is very wrong if you cant find any decent prospects. Tinder is just rubbish as far as I am concerned, its got no value at all, you can load up the most amazing pictures, get decent matches and nothing will happen. Why, because I think people don't know what they want. How sure are you that you can do the totally casual thing? I have no experience but the idea doesn't appeal to me at all. Edited January 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote and fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 I think if that's what you are looking for your approach is very wrong if you cant find any decent prospects. Well this is the thing, I'm trying different approaches. Hell awhile back I tried talking to someone who wrote she was looking for a hookup in her damn bio, but she wasn't interested. Tinder is just rubbish as far as I am concerned, its got no value at all, you can load up the most amazing pictures, get decent matches and nothing will happen. Why, because I think people don't know what they want. I don't even know what happened with the girl I mentioned above. Attractive, mutual interests, both looking for same thing. She wanted to meet, albeit talk more. We spoke since yesterday morning, so she had no reason to respond to me this morning (and said last night it was nice talking to me), last message we were talking about a mutual interest. BOOM. Gone. How sure are you that you can do the totally casual thing? I have no experience but the idea doesn't appeal to me at all. Not sure I could even open my heart again to someone. I've been "closed off" ever since my second partner. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Not sure what you guys have been doing in your lives, but casual sex via online dating is a common thing. Also, the one girl who's conversation was going really well, we had mutual interests etc...just loaded up the app to see she's unmatched me... No-one said it isn't common. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) Well this is the thing, I'm trying different approaches. Hell awhile back I tried talking to someone who wrote she was looking for a hookup in her damn bio, but she wasn't interested.<snip> You need to see Tinder as something which is nonsense, much a shop, people pick, choose and throw back on the shelf, in fact I'd argue its the worst place to try and meet people. Give you and idea I had one who wanted/wants to hook up, she has a bf who lives in another town. I refuse, she isn't attractive, I am not that sort of guy. Keep at it and you will maybe get somewhere. Edited January 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote and fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 No-one said it isn't common. So, how do I get to experience it? Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Hows your flirting skills in convincing women to chase you? Advertising yourself as a challenge to meet and score a date with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 Hows your flirting skills in convincing women to chase you? Advertising yourself as a challenge to meet and score a date with? No idea, probably zero. I ain't a catch, and women don't want me; not going to advertise as someone who is being chased. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Well this is the thing, I'm trying different approaches. Hell awhile back I tried talking to someone who wrote she was looking for a hookup in her damn bio, but she wasn't interested. I don't even know what happened with the girl I mentioned above. Attractive, mutual interests, both looking for same thing. She wanted to meet, albeit talk more. We spoke since yesterday morning, so she had no reason to respond to me this morning (and said last night it was nice talking to me), last message we were talking about a mutual interest. BOOM. Gone. Think of online dating as being Amazon. Lots of products on the shelf, lots of people putting different items in their baskets and pondering them for a bit and then not bothering to purchase. And then you'll have items which are rare (a woman looking for a hookup) and she'll get dozens of men wanting to put her in his basket and ultimately the guy who's offering most will get her. Online dating is just another form of online shopping. And every bit as ruthless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) Totally get that, but why am I never an option? Edited January 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 Right, last hour I've got... 1x number + meet set up for Thursday. Getting to know for a potential casual thing / sex. 2x meet + set up for Sunday. Getting to know for a potential casual thing / sex. (Scratch that. One of them unmatched me as I was writing this. Damn it! She was really attractive. Think I may have blown this one by asking if she had her own place...which is daft when she explicitly said FWB) 1x number. Getting to know for a potential casual thing / sex. 1x number. Getting to know and possible meet on Saturday. Absolutely GUARANTEE all of them will flake, ghost, block etc. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 So, I guess you are planning to have casual sex at their place since you live with your parents? That also probably works against you. I don't really know what advice you want -- you are communicating with women on Tinder, last month you met, went home with, and slept in the same bed as two new girls....I mean....this all sounds like normal dating/meeting. People are flaky, especially young women, and especially young women who are doing OLD/Tinder who have a bunch of guys messaging them. What are the plans for the meetups on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 You are doing a heck of a lot better than me - I had something like 700 000 right swipes, and only ever had 3 dates from Tinder haha. I suggest you make it clear from the beginning that you only want FWBs. Women don' t like being deceived for sex (totally different viewpoint from men). Then you tilt the angle of your conversation to get emotional engagement. Let your sexy personality shine first. You should still go to new cities and make new FWBs there (we all have a time when we want something badly, but don't have time) - life will never drop something like this into your lap. You have to make time. Be hyper-perceptive to female body language in those people you can't seduce successfully. Know your physical indicators of interest backwards and forwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 So, I guess you are planning to have casual sex at their place since you live with your parents? That also probably works against you. Hotels or their place. You are communicating with women on Tinder I've got lucky in the last 24 hours. This is an extrreeemmeelly rare occurrence. Last month you met, went home with, and slept in the same bed as two new girls One of which is a friend. The other a complete fluke, and blocked me straight after. What are the plans for the meetups on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday? Updated Breakdown: 2x girls who were "willing" to meet and seemed the most promising, blocked and deleted me. One literally made plans for this Sunday before doing so. 1x meeting Thursday. She's looking for a casual thing. Nothing's going to happen on this particular evening, I don't think. 1x possible meet for Saturday. Got her number. Waiting to hear back from here. 1x definite meeting for Saturday, will arrange after I know the other. Casual thing, but nothing going to happen this day. 1x for Friday next week. We've been chatting awhile, so this is probably a likely meet. She wants something casual. We'll see. One is open to meeting Sunday. She wants something casual. I'll see if I can make arrangements. One is talking to me, even though she wanted dates and I said casual. Something may happen. I feel she's open. She asked for and contacted my number. I've had two girls respond tonight to re-attempts at contact after 24-48 hours. Both missed my messages, apparently. One girl is wanting to date. She seems really cool, so going to get her number soon. One girl is still talking to me, on-and-off, but she wants to date and I already said casual. One girl is very quiet, but my type, so we'll see. She responds sparingly. Two take ages to reply, but generally get back to me. See how that goes. Will ask for contact details if they message again. Currently talking to one who is defo after casual sex, but wants to talk more first (got her number and snap). Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Totally get that, but why am I never an option? Never? Did you or did you not earlier this month spend the night in a woman's bed without phouking her? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 The two girls who want to date....you know you'll lose them when you mention that you only want casual, yes? Just putting it out there so that you don't blame them when they block you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) The two girls who want to date....you know you'll lose them when you mention that you only want casual, yes? Just putting it out there so that you don't blame them when they block you. I'm not going to mention it. I will take them out on dates and pursue a legitimate interest in them, but if I can try out some casual things in the mean time with others...sure. Edited January 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 I'm not going to mention it. I will take them out on dates and pursue a legitimate interest in them, but if I can try out some casual things in the mean time with others...sure. If you get no takers for casual sex, you're saying that you are open to a relationship and will continue indefinitely with a girl even if you've had no prior experience with others? I thought this was something you weren't interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 30, 2019 Author Share Posted January 30, 2019 If you get no takers for casual sex, you're saying that you are open to a relationship and will continue indefinitely with a girl even if you've had no prior experience with others? I thought this was something you weren't interested in. I will happily date someone and see where it leads, but I want to experience the casual side of things as well. I won't commit until I do, but I wouldn't string someone along either. I would just have to see how things pan out and act accordingly. I just want to experience what it's like to be DESIRABLE. To have a girl actually show an interest in me, particularly sexually. For someone to want to hook up with me off an app, from a club, anything. Just typical "young people" behavior. I've not had that. Sick of reading people's experiences of it. I've never been sent saucy photos or had a girl wait at home for me, even in past relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 2x girls who were "willing" to meet and seemed the most promising, blocked and deleted me. One literally made plans for this Sunday before doing so. Out of curiosity, what were your plans with her Sunday before she blocked and deleted? As of now, you have plans with new girls for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Seems like you are doing okay. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 (edited) I just want to experience what it's like to be DESIRABLE. From half way around the world I'll be hoping you find this, I never have. In my mind you need to desire them too so that makes it even harder. So far everything looks very promising, though the numbers game only seems to work for "other people", well apparently. Edited January 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
Author LightWave93 Posted January 30, 2019 Author Share Posted January 30, 2019 Out of curiosity, what were your plans with her Sunday before she blocked and deleted? As of now, you have plans with new girls for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Seems like you are doing okay. Meet for a drink. I did ask her if she had her own place, thinking logistics for a FWB situation, but that may have raised flags for her. Currently, yes, but chances are they will all drop out. It has happened before. Currently talking to three others that wanna FWB but doubt that will go anywhere either. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Meet for a drink. I did ask her if she had her own place, thinking logistics for a FWB situation, but that may have raised flags for her. Currently, yes, but chances are they will all drop out. It has happened before. Currently talking to three others that wanna FWB but doubt that will go anywhere either. One thing you might want to keep in mind... Even though these women say they want FWB and/or something casual, you probably don't want to treat it like it's all about the sex. Rather, go out for drinks or food, have fun, see where it goes, and hopefully at the end of the night you both want to have sex. (And this might even take a few times before you get to that point.) Meeting up with a guy just to have sex probably feels a lot different than meeting up for a date and then lo and behold, you end up having sex. Does that make sense? (Don't forget about the F in the FWB.) So yeah, it's possible when you brought up whether she had her own place that she got kind of spooked because that made it seem very sex focused. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Most FWB type situations don't really begin with both parties explicitly stating from the outset that the arrangement will be mostly physical/sexual/casual. It just sort of happens. Obviously it helps to clarify this sooner than later, but from a guy's perspective, I don't think most women really want to start something on the pretense that it's going to be just casual, even if it's something that will be OK with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Seems to me many men are happy with "the benefits", regular sex when horny, no complications, but many women need "the friend" bit too and if she feels it is missing, she will not be happy with just the sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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