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I don't see the point to relationships, they seem to do more harm then good

BeRespectful

By BeRespectful,
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BeRespectful

BeRespectful

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I'm young, early 20ies, and have only been in three. The last two were very serious and were four years apart. I just broke up from my last one. Being together was one of the best moments in my life, and because of that, losing it is one of the worst moments in my life.

 

Neither of us were bad people: we didn't cheat, lie, etc. It just didn't work out despite trying my best.

 

Now that it's over, we ultimately hurt each other. No one goes into a relationship expecting to hurt their loved one but it's often inevitable. Ultimately, I hurt the person I love despite trying my best to make it work and she hurt me. On top of that all the lovely memories we had, all the wonderful special moments are ruined. Memories that once used to make me feel happy, accepted and loved now bring me immense pain for the loss. In time they'll probably be meaningless.

 

What's the point of falling in love. Sure some people get married eventually and it lasts, but to have to go through so many relationships that all end with hurt loved ones, ruined memories, and everything gets reduced to zero... what's the point? Experience, wisdom? Is it worth the pain?

 

Right now, I just don't see the point to falling in love. Even when people try their best, they can still hurt their loved one all because things don't work out. I don't think anything can making hurting a loved one and losing them completely, worth it.

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Twizzlestick

Twizzlestick

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Starting to think that myself ha :D. I had pain after a relationship of 6 months ended. Took my a good 7 months to come to terms and left it’s mark. My latest’s one of ten years, can’t see being over in 7 months. I’m a mess.

 

Whoever wrote “it is better to have love and lost than not loved at all” really needed a size 12 to the real end. Load of Romantic Tosh.

 

What I find particularly destructive about being dumped is they involve abandonment and choice. And folk bin them for any old reason these days. Friggin butterflies everywhere constantly looking for the pot at the end of the rainbow.

 

 

I might just buy a dog.

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basil67

basil67

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For me, the point has been that those old, ruined relationships are in the past. But my marriage is in the present and has more meaning and enduring love than any of those faded memories.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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As you acknowledge being a healthy happy relationship is wonderful. The price you pay for that joy is the pain of a break up.

 

Relationships are fulfilling. Humans are pack animals.

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Wallysbears

Wallysbears

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Yeah break ups hurt. But eventually you move on and learn from them to do better the next time.

 

It’s a part of life.

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Beachead

Beachead

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I'm young, early 20ies, and have only been in three. The last two were very serious and were four years apart. I just broke up from my last one. Being together was one of the best moments in my life, and because of that, losing it is one of the worst moments in my life.

 

Neither of us were bad people: we didn't cheat, lie, etc. It just didn't work out despite trying my best.

 

Now that it's over, we ultimately hurt each other. No one goes into a relationship expecting to hurt their loved one but it's often inevitable. Ultimately, I hurt the person I love despite trying my best to make it work and she hurt me. On top of that all the lovely memories we had, all the wonderful special moments are ruined. Memories that once used to make me feel happy, accepted and loved now bring me immense pain for the loss. In time they'll probably be meaningless.

 

What's the point of falling in love. Sure some people get married eventually and it lasts, but to have to go through so many relationships that all end with hurt loved ones, ruined memories, and everything gets reduced to zero... what's the point? Experience, wisdom? Is it worth the pain?

 

Right now, I just don't see the point to falling in love. Even when people try their best, they can still hurt their loved one all because things don't work out. I don't think anything can making hurting a loved one and losing them completely, worth it.

 

It hurts for sure.

 

So maybe what you want to ask yourself is why did you get into your prior relationships? What lead you to wanting to give it a try? What was your thought process and your feelings at the time?

 

That's something you want to ask yourself.

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LuckyM

LuckyM

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No one can answer that question for you. Only you will discover whether it is worth it, but you seem very young to be worrying about it.

 

In my case, old enough to be your father , my bitter experiences were not worth it looking back. You want to at least TRY anyway.

. Sometimes I wish I had never met some of the girls I knew.

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divegrl

divegrl

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Please don’t give up on love. It’s what we were made for. We are love.

 

To love another is one of the greatest experiences. Maybe for now, just practice loving yourself or a friend. Or love a pet or nature.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

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sabaton

sabaton

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I'm young, early 20ies, and have only been in three. The last two were very serious and were four years apart. I just broke up from my last one. Being together was one of the best moments in my life, and because of that, losing it is one of the worst moments in my life.

 

Neither of us were bad people: we didn't cheat, lie, etc. It just didn't work out despite trying my best.

 

Now that it's over, we ultimately hurt each other. No one goes into a relationship expecting to hurt their loved one but it's often inevitable. Ultimately, I hurt the person I love despite trying my best to make it work and she hurt me. On top of that all the lovely memories we had, all the wonderful special moments are ruined. Memories that once used to make me feel happy, accepted and loved now bring me immense pain for the loss. In time they'll probably be meaningless.

 

What's the point of falling in love. Sure some people get married eventually and it lasts, but to have to go through so many relationships that all end with hurt loved ones, ruined memories, and everything gets reduced to zero... what's the point? Experience, wisdom? Is it worth the pain?

 

Right now, I just don't see the point to falling in love. Even when people try their best, they can still hurt their loved one all because things don't work out. I don't think anything can making hurting a loved one and losing them completely, worth it.

 

 

Pain is part of life. Almost no one is going to find that special someone they want to share their lives with at the age of 16. Most people are going to have one, two, three or more significant partners before they begin to consider settling down, getting married, having kids, all that.

 

 

You are not defective for having been rejected or dumped. There's nothing wrong with you. You have as much of a right being happy as everyone else.

 

 

Relationships are hard work, and they seem so daunting at your age when you have so much still to do. Build your life, your career. Have fun, enjoy your friends, spend time with your family. Take part in the hobbies and past-times that you love. Over time you will heal, and maybe you'll accidently come across someone worthwhile.

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preraph

preraph

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With relationships, and depending mostly on what type of person you are, there will be highs and lows. I am one of those people who did a lot of suffering from being in love and had probably not enough joy from it to justify keeping doing it, but then that never seems in our control, does it? For the insecure and anxious, it can just be torture. The people who seem to benefit from love are the type people who are secure and can get along with a wide range of personalities and just like human companionship in many forms. For one thing, that makes them able to have relationships with a wide pool of people and they're usually just laid back people, but also they just know if one peters out, there will be another because their range of types they like and attract is vast. I really can't get inside their heads because I'm so not like that.

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BeRespectful

BeRespectful

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For me, the point has been that those old, ruined relationships are in the past. But my marriage is in the present and has more meaning and enduring love than any of those faded memories.

 

If a marriage ends though (which I hope it doesn't), wouldn't it join the other faded memories eventually?

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BaileyB

BaileyB

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With time, the hurt will fade and you will still have the wonderful memories of your first love.

 

You will also make more memories. It may not feel like it now, but your life is only beginning. Your future holds things that you can not even begin to predict. Don’t close yourself off from love, and life, because you will miss so much. Taking a risk to love someone and being hurt is part of the universal human experiences. You will get over it, as everyone does, and you will live to love another day. Give it time.

 

I would suggest that you be single for a while, and develop your self confidence and your own self. Four relationships including some longer term relationships is a lot at your age. Your happiness should not be determined by whether you are in a relationship, or not. Spend some time on your own and you will discover that for yourself... good luck to you.

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