Mrlifeiswonderful Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) Hi guys, Can any of you that are divorced help me? I really can’t continue my current relationship.Other than my marriage my life is great. I love it.I’m successful. I have a good life but I hate coming home. I don’t know what mood she is in. My problem is I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old with her. She doesn’t work at the moment and we own a house. I would love to just pack my stuff and go but where will she live? She would have to work and put the 1 year old in daycare. I just worry for my children. They say kids don’t want to be from broken homes but unfortunately I’m just not happy. I don’t want to share the details about what’s going on. All I can say is it’s enough for me to end the marriage. I guess I just don’t Have the balls to do it. In both of our families divorce is like a huge crime. Thanks for reading! Edited January 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 There's really no mystery - you just do it. If you are sure the marriage can't be saved, go talk to an attorney and understand how things are likely to go. Laws are different depending on your location, especially your country. But it's very likely that since she is a stay at home mom you would have to pay her a certain amount of maintenance, on top of child support for the children. Your assets (financial accounts, home, cars) would be split. But don't assume anything - go talk to an attorney. Divorce is hard emotionally, financially, it affects everything in your life. There is no easy or painless way to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 Marriage is about love. Divorce is about money. Talk to a lawyer. As a good rule of thumb understand you will get 1/3 of your money; she will get 1/3 & the two lawyers will split the other 1/3. You will be required to pay child support. If you don't want your kid in day care, come other with a viable solution -- pay your wife to stay home; get your parents to care for their grandchildren or deal with day care. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I don’t know what mood she is in. My problem is I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old with her. She doesn’t work at the moment and we own a house. Maybe the mood she's in is "tired from taking care of a 5 and 1 yr old"? Have you ever tried it? You seem a little dismissive of the family you've created, as though they've become nuisance... Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I don’t want to share the details about what’s going on. All I can say is it’s enough for me to end the marriage. I guess little or no sex at home and/or you have another woman. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I would say try therapy first if you haven’t. And that your wife is likely exhausted with two kids those ages. Otherwise, talk to an attorney. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 I've never referred to a child as a "problem" and despite a very nasty divorce I've always viewed them as "my concern." What's up with that? Divorce is serious business and yet, you inquire with as much detachment as someone trying to get out of a car lease? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 First things first... have you been interested in another woman? When you decide to divorce - you file and separate assets and agree to compromise on things you’ve both accumulated. Expect to get a fraction of what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
David33 Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Read "the list", do not move out, keep a journal of everything, learn to love ramen. GL Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) First things first... have you been interested in another woman? I didn't even get that far. I'm still wondering what happened to the pronoun: OUR? HIS life is great. HE loves it. HE'S successful, HE hates coming home. HE's not happy. HE just wants to pack his stuff an go but HIS children pose a problem and the name on the deed is "WE." OP - if your question is: "how can I make divorce easy?" Then the answer is by being amicable, compassionate, and using words, like us, our, we, and all of us. I'm not getting that kind of vibe from "pack my stuff and go" especially when there's a 1 year old at home. Edited January 16, 2019 by Turning point 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I didn't even get that far. I'm still wondering what happened to the pronoun: OUR? HIS life is great. HE loves it. HE'S successful, HE hates coming home. HE's not happy. HE just wants to pack his stuff an go but HIS children pose a problem and the name on the deed is "WE." OP - if your question is: "how can I make divorce easy?" Then the answer is by being amicable, compassionate, and using words, like us, our, we, and all of us. I'm not getting that kind of vibe from "pack my stuff and go" especially when there's a 1 year old at home. And that’s what made me think he’s been seeing someone else already. OP have you been interested/involved with another woman? Link to post Share on other sites
viatori patuit Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 I would cut him some slack. Sometimes people just are not compatible. When my marriage died it became all about me because the marriage failed. It wasn't because I was busy being single. For the OP - you are going down a very hard road. Divorce with kids under three in the states is difficult. You won't see your kids like you would like and you will pay through the nose as stated at home mom's generally get a pass for a while. My advice is tough it out for a few years. If you care at all about your kids you will see it is better for them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't plan, just don't be hasty. Link to post Share on other sites
portwine49 Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 Take a step back. You say all other aspects of your life are good. That may be a direct result of stability in your home life. Maybe not the happiness in marriage part, but the grueling results of going through a divorce destroys everyone. Mostly the kids. Please think long and hard about pulling the trigger. Maybe a trial separation or counseling could give you some better insight into the decision. Sorry you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 I really can’t continue my current relationship.Other than my marriage my life is great. I hate coming home. It doesn't add up. Life is great - he's a success at everything EXCEPT coming home. Something is missing. People with a great life don't seek divorce. Someone is missing. If he hates going home, then who is it he enjoys seeing at the end of the day? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 File - wait - sign... equals divorced. Must be an affair. If you don’t like going home then quit botching abot it and divorce. I’m sure it’s not pleasant to have you home either. Link to post Share on other sites
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