Is it too late now? No contact after 3 months of begging.

[Icyeyess]

Hello guys, I break up almost 3 months ago with my ex girlfriend, it's the first time that I mutually break up with someone, so I never realy experienced this (sorry for my english but I'm italian, i'm doing my best ).

The first weeks we tried to talk and tried to stay friends, nothing worked because she was slowly colder.

Then I tried everything to get her back, like leave flowers on her door and then leave, writing a letter, etc etc, same as before nothing worked.

 

The problem is she felt the "pression" called me "obsessed" after 3 months of trying to stay in touch and begging. (In my defense I didn't write her everyday, like 1 message every 2 weeks, but still, she doesn't reply).

 

I did every mistake possible, honest mistake...Because now i'm real focused and I know that begging isn't the right thing.

 

Last day she talked with a friend of mine, and said that She wanted me to remove her from everywhere (facebook, whatsapp etc), and I did it...

 

By the way we engaged like 1 month after she break up with ex, I think she was not ready for me, in fact even now she keep doing the victim and think about him (at least on FB, before I removed her).

 

Now my friends told me that she's like in depression, talk to few people, never go out since we broke up.

 

There's anything I can do now? I removed her from everywhere (she told me to do this) this way I can heal properly and I want to stay in no contact for 3/4 months at least...

[Garcon1986]

Buon gioro e Benvenuto, sarà molto importante lasciare sola questa ragazza. You need to heal, and she will need to emotionally heal as well. You've learned an important lesson - begging is never a good thing in a relationship! Start on the right foot and never allow your relationship to go that way in the first place.

 

Right now put mandatory happiness in your life, vai a divertire con i ragazzi, and mentally heal so you can date again down the road.

[d0nnivain]

What you can do now is leave her alone. She needs you to be out of her life so she can concentrate on her healing. You need to do the same.

[ExpatInItaly]

Ciao Icyeyess, anch'io vivo in Italia. Benvenuto a Loveshack.

 

If she's been ignoring you for 3 months, you need to understand that she is genuinely not interested in you anymore. You are probably correct that she was not ready to date you after breaking up with her ex, and it's him that she is depressed about.

 

Don't contact her, and work on accepting that it's over. It hurts, but you will heal and move on. You need to let go of the idea of reconciliation, though. There will be another girl for you who returns your affections; this one isn't it.

 

Spero che ti senti meglio presto. Buona fortuna, e buona domenica!

[PRW]

The first weeks we tried to talk and tried to stay friends, nothing worked because she was slowly colder.

It was already over at that point.

Then I tried everything to get her back, like leave flowers on her door and then leave, writing a letter, etc etc, same as before nothing worked.

None of that will ever work.

The problem is she felt the "pression" called me "obsessed" after 3 months of trying to stay in touch and begging. (In my defense I didn't write her everyday, like 1 message every 2 weeks, but still, she doesn't reply).

Begging sealed your fate. If you can read and understand books written in English well enough, I often recommend Corey Wayne's book, "How to be a 3% Man". It will open your eyes on a lot of this and will probably reveal what really caused it to end. The things you described are only the final way that all the pieces landed afterwards,...none of it is the cause of the ending.

[Icyeyess]

It was already over at that point.None of that will ever work.Begging sealed your fate. If you can read and understand books written in English well enough, I often recommend Corey Wayne's book, "How to be a 3% Man". It will open your eyes on a lot of this and will probably reveal what really caused it to end. The things you described are only the final way that all the pieces landed afterwards,...none of it is the cause of the ending.

First of all thanks guys I really appreciate your opinions and advice

 

I wanna tell you something more specifical: since when we engaged, she slowly and gradually became more aggressive or angry towards me with no big deal reasons, (that's what also our common friends says).

I did almost everything for her until the breakup, then she became very mean and angry, more then before.

 

I can probably say that she's dealing with the memory of her ex, and in some way she mistreat me for that or every bad thing happened in her life.

Plus my mind wasn't not clear and I was begging her.

And this is very sad for me because i'm not that kind of person...she knew that this was my very first story and first time that I deal with a breakup this painful.

 

To PWR: I can read and understand english, so I'll give a try to this book, and thank you very much

 

You guys think that after 4 months or more, at least she will realize that I'm not this "monster" that she thinks?

I only hope that one day she forget about that ex that he's destroying her life, and think that helping her was the real thing that I was doing.

It's kinda sad that 2 people that loves each other ( we were best friends also for 1.5 year) end up this way...

 

Thanks again to all of you, you guys are special

[Garcon1986]

Well part of the manliness that women crave involves not letting women get away with childish behavior - you can be a secure man, like Fabio Cannavaro, and be funny, kind, and gentle - but let her know that she shouldn't be allowed to mistreat you as a result of her problems with her previous ex. That's just not allowed between adults. If you set that standard from the beginning, you are less likely to get to where you are now.

 

Best wishes in getting happy and growing towards your new relationship.

[PRW]

she slowly and gradually became more aggressive or angry towards me with no big deal reasons

There is always a reason

I did almost everything for her until the breakup

...and that is usually one of them

then she became very mean and angry, more then before.

Exactly.

I can probably say that she's dealing with the memory of her ex

No, these are just excuses women come up with to soften the blow in hopes of not making you feel bad. If she is in love with a new guy, then the Ex is history and all thoughts of him are history.

 

But no worries.

 

These are common things. But the pig picture is very big with a lot of details and variations. The book I recommended is small and low cost and will help you understand all of this. The author did all the things wrong you can imagine but finally broke out of that. To a certain extent the book is a "loose" autobiography. So you would be learning from a guy who as they say, "Been there, done that".

[Icyeyess]

There is always a reason...and that is usually one of themExactly.No, these are just excuses women come up with to soften the blow in hopes of not making you feel bad. If she is in love with a new guy, then the Ex is history and all thoughts of him are history.

 

But no worries.

 

These are common things. But the pig picture is very big with a lot of details and variations. The book I recommended is small and low cost and will help you understand all of this. The author did all the things wrong you can imagine but finally broke out of that. To a certain extent the book is a "loose" autobiography. So you would be learning from a guy who as they say, "Been there, done that".

 

She didn't say that, I'm assuming that because after 3 months I see that she miss her ex and not me, so 70% I think I am right in this.

By the way I'll surely read this book