Your weekends

[Fair]

I feel I am probably wasting my life away as I mostly like to stay home... and most people seem to have very eventful weekends. But the truth is I DO like relaxing and having only minimal things set up out of the house. The question is, do you feel down because you think you should be doing something, or because you really wanted a more full life on weekends?

 

Yes I do feel I should be out there if only to meet someone. Time is flying by and I don't want to be alone forever.

 

I am an introvert and like being alone, but I'd like a relationship because as far as friends go... I just don't seem to be wanted or needed. And I'm lonely. I don't want to be the town crazy cat lady.

 

At this age, let's face it, if you don't have your own relationship, there just isn't a place for you out there. You can do a lot of activities... ALONE... if you can afford it. But it seems like everyone is married and there's no one for me. I've tried online dating and it doesn't work for me, but don't get me started on that!

 

I see other singles my age who just seem to mysteriously disappear on the weekends and it doubles my angst by making me feel I'm out of the loop. I had an eye on my neighbor across the street. About six years older, no kids. He was in a long term relationship the last time around but she died of breast cancer. It's been about three years since that happened... or maybe longer. But now judging by how dark his house always is and especially on the weekends, I'm feeling like he's got a girlfriend someplace now.

[chillii]

That's an horrific thing to go through he might not be recovered yet. Is his car there or any other regular new car there.

But at 3 years if he is still alone he's probably slowly nearing the time of feeling like life again so, never know.

After divorce l had 3 1/2 yrs alone wkends. For a long time l wanted it like that l needed it.But when l started feeling like some small life again there was nothing.

so on wkends l made myself do at least just one thing. go somewhere, get out of the house. That was my deal with myself ok l had no life so l better do at least just one thing of one day.

So l'd drive up to the main beach, 45k away, nice town, swim or lay round on the beach, walk, or go to a market, or just go somewhere, anywhere.

And l made myself go out for a good walk at least once or twice wknights too and l noticed a few others round my age walking about and after awhile we'd often stop for chats.

Then l started canoeing again in the mornings before work and there were usually at least a few people around on the shoreline so at least that was some people.

Got back into movies at home , way too much computer.

That was life. Wasn't really interested in having friends around and didn't have any anyway they went with my marriage.

 

Eventually something happened , and l met my gf.

But right through all that before gf, the walking was big and after awhile at least l was out and about chit chatting to a few people . Not usually my thing with strangers but l thought at least it was something and a few regulars really enjoyed it too.

Got a dog , it's great just wandering with your dog too but l lost that dog and so l started going out no dog.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't envy my friends with kids one bit. Their weekends sound like an absolute nightmare filled with lack of sleep, chores and screaming toddlers.

 

 

I tend to look forward to not doing anything on the weekends. I have a stressful full time job and I often spend half of the Saturday napping, just to recover from the week. Then I have to do supermarket shopping, clothes washing etc. Sunday, I usually binge watch Netflix, go to the gym and often someone from my family will come over for a bit. Then it's work week again where I spend most of my time in meetings and dealing with people. No time to feel lonely for me.

 

 

Once a month or so, a group of female friends will get babysitters and we will have a proper night out, with going out for cocktails and dancing.

 

 

To be honest though, as my week heads towards the weekend, I am at my happiest when I have zero plans. I am pretty anti-social though.

[LastStraw]

I also hate planning weekends and I’m not super social but sleeping half time of the day and binge watching stuff will drive me bananas. I much rather take care of 5 toddlers at least sound more dynamic.

 

Not single but my routine hasn’t changed a tag bit because we’re perfectly compatible of how we see our free time. Wake up time is always the same (work day or weekend). Then is chores, but by noon we are out and about - usually working on home improvement projects or on a hike. Then comes some ‘fine dining’ (fast food binge in the car which I love lol), more hiking with our dogs. I don’t feel like going out at night whatsoever, he does, so I am usually by myself watching some movie or learning something. Sunday is the same sans the chores.

 

I like I can use the weekends to learn, laugh and get outdoors after 5 days behind closed doors. It’s truly a blessing to have this time off, I used to finish work on weekends but now this is a firm no for me.

 

I don't envy my friends with kids one bit. Their weekends sound like an absolute nightmare filled with lack of sleep, chores and screaming toddlers.<snip>

Edited January 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Fekenaws]

I'm younger (24) but if I spend a weekend that doesn't involve going out with friends I feel like garbage. That being said, I love writing and playing video games, plus I almost always have my brother around and I do go for short jogs, but overall the weekends I need friends to feel satisfied.

[chillii]

I like to enjoy alone time on weekends and that's how I got dumped. Haha. People want to fill their weekends with activities. I do too but my idea of activity is being home alone so I can focus on studies and creative projects. Work aready takes up my time, so weekends are for myself.

When I'm dating someone, if I'm not available on a weekend the guy thinks I must be seeing someone else. So I'm still searching for the man who understands why I can't go out every weekend, why I need time alone.

 

 

l'd say he's probably just more annoyed that you don't wanna see him on weekends. Because if you know each other at all he must know what your both up to even if your not with him because you'd talk about your weekends.

So maybe for someone you don't even know but nah , not in any real relationship.

[hippychick3]

As I'm getting older, I find I am becoming more and more anti-social. I think my boyfriend is too. We used to frequently make plans with his friends or mine to go out. But, we are both such homebodies and tired from our work week and the long drive to see each other every weekend that we just want to grab a bite and maybe day drink for an hour or so, run some errands, and just chill at home together. We will take my daughter out to dinner but other than that, we just like to stay in at night...which our friends do not (they're night owls).

 

An ideal weekend for us is pretty much wake up early for breakfast (we love going out for breakfast), run errands, and stay home the rest of the day/night.

[Fair]

As I'm getting older, I find I am becoming more and more anti-social. I think my boyfriend is too. We used to frequently make plans with his friends or mine to go out. But, we are both such homebodies and tired from our work week and the long drive to see each other every weekend that we just want to grab a bite and maybe day drink for an hour or so, run some errands, and just chill at home together. We will take my daughter out to dinner but other than that, we just like to stay in at night...which our friends do not (they're night owls).

 

An ideal weekend for us is pretty much wake up early for breakfast (we love going out for breakfast), run errands, and stay home the rest of the day/night.

 

It's easy to be "anti social" if you have a boyfriend.

 

I don't want hordes of people around me. I hate that. But I do want a relationship.

[hippychick3]

It's easy to be "anti social" if you have a boyfriend.

 

I don't want hordes of people around me. I hate that. But I do want a relationship.

 

Yes, I can see that.

 

I will say that the weekends here and there I’m not with my boyfriend or my daughter, I find myself wanting to be alone rather than with friends.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am probably an alien. This weekend I have non-stop plans for both days. I’m feeling mild depression over it. I need at least a full day of alone time and I’m counting down the hours until I can just be alone.

 

My social needs are so low that it’s been years since I initiated any plans. My friends hang on by initiating 100%. Some have given up but plenty are still around. I mostly go when invited by people I like, I don’t want to disappoint them - but I don’t truly enjoy spending time with anyone. My parents say that I was like this since I was a kid. They were always pushing me to be social and I would find ways to evade it.

 

I actually see needing others to feel happy as a weakness, just wish there were more people that can relate.

[alphamale]

I actually see needing others to feel happy as a weakness, just wish there were more people that can relate.

 

I totally agree ES, happiness comes from within

[SmartDude]

I am probably an alien. This weekend I have non-stop plans for both days. I’m feeling mild depression over it. I need at least a full day of alone time and I’m counting down the hours until I can just be alone.

 

My social needs are so low that it’s been years since I initiated any plans. My friends hang on by initiating 100%. Some have given up but plenty are still around. I mostly go when invited by people I like, I don’t want to disappoint them - but I don’t truly enjoy spending time with anyone. My parents say that I was like this since I was a kid. They were always pushing me to be social and I would find ways to evade it.

 

I actually see needing others to feel happy as a weakness, just wish there were more people that can relate.

 

 

I am like this as well. It is more common than you think.

 

 

 

I would love to have a relationship. The only reason I don't is because that person would want to take my whole weekend to do stuff as a couple. Who the hell can live like that? My own life and activities are far more interesting at the moment. Being social is fun but only if I can get away often and find solitude. I also veiw people who "need" relationships as lacking something.

[Fair]

I totally agree ES, happiness comes from within

 

To an extent.

 

Take away all the good things people have in their lives and I question how much happiness they could dredge up. People don't realise or underestimate how much external things sustain them.

 

Unless you're a robot, you have needs beyond your own company for happiness to occur. It's a response to something, just like any other emotion. But I digress...

[Fair]

I am like this as well. It is more common than you think.

 

 

 

I would love to have a relationship. The only reason I don't is because that person would want to take my whole weekend to do stuff as a couple. Who the hell can live like that? My own life and activities are far more interesting at the moment. Being social is fun but only if I can get away often and find solitude. I also veiw people who "need" relationships as lacking something.

 

Really?

 

Outside of a romantic relationship, I'm guessing you have friends and family and your relationships with them are fulfilling enough for you at the moment. Bouying you up in ways you don't comprehend. You're not an island.

[SmartDude]

Really?

 

Outside of a romantic relationship, I'm guessing you have friends and family and your relationships with them are fulfilling enough for you at the moment. Bouying you up in ways you don't comprehend. You're not an island.

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I meant romantic relationships. Of course there are friends and family. But even with them, it is the same. My ratio of alone time to time with myself is a delicate balance. I can actually get my need for human contact from walking around downtown were I live. Its strange. I don't necessarily need to be doing anything with people I know. It is not a feeling of loneliness at all. I know part of the reason for this is that I am a high functioning autistic person, but at the same time I am not bothered by it.