Daan2k2 Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 Hi guys, So a few weeks back I was contacted by a girl I was a little interested in. We talked a bit, and she was very interested from the beginning. She had just been through a tough break-up and instantly opened up to me about all her problems. I like helping people, so I told her how to handle a few problems. I just wanted to be friends from that point, as she was a bit of a mess. I told her so, and she said fine. I continued talking to her, but she acted very romantically interested, constantly giving compliments and constantly trying to arrange dates. Now I didn't want to be a dick as she had been through a tough time, so I ignored it and just stayed friends. This has continued, and I am pretty done with it (she texts way too much), and I am afraid I will hurt her even more if I continue talking to her. I don't want to lose the friendship we have, as she is pretty cool, but I really don't want to lead her on. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 "As your friend, I'd really love to see you go invest more into yourself. Do some solo travel, take up some new activities and really give yourself the love you've been waiting for other people to give you". Then do the slow fade if it's impacting you. Take longer to answer messages, write half as many words as she does etc. It sounds like she needs to wean herself off external support and build herself up again. Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I think you should just be honest with her and say the texting is too much but you want to stay friends. I texted some people too much just wanting to be friends and they basically friend ghosted me. Honesty before it got too much for them would have been great but I definitely learned a valuable lesson about the right level of communication with people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I think you should be brief and honest. I should let you know, I only want to be friends, and not GIRLfriends. I need to cut way back on the texting. I don't have time for it. Link to post Share on other sites
GinON Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 She is putting her self worth in other people. Tell her she wont get a strong relationship with anyone until she is strong on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Just tell her you only see her as a friend then stop returning her texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 You're getting lost here. I have my heart broken by Woman A ... it's not the duty or care or concern or business of Woman B to date me for any other reason other than she DEEPLY wants to date me. You've got a caretaker problem. Just make clear you're not romantically interested ... She touches you in a way that seems romantic, tell her, "Hey, I'm uncomfortable with this." Disinterest is part and parcel of dating life. People don't date the other or hide not wanting to date the other ... for worry that the other person was previously hurt in a relationship. We've ALL been previously hurt in relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 say: "it's not you, its me..." Link to post Share on other sites
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