Leveraging some unique assets in my dating pics.

[Garcon1986]

Hi, I've got a unique set of assets that women will typically find attractive only after they get to know me, meaning -

 

- I speak five languages

- I am a science nerd

- I play 9 instruments

- I'm always looking for ways to make my life better, i.e. finding a better way to do things or shelving an old bad habit.

- I take care of kids for a living

- I cook as well as some restaurants

- I have very nice toned legs from biking. Working actively on the upper body.

- I swim and generally take care of my health

- I'll put a wasp in a box and bring him outside, rather than killing it

- I am attractive on the Asian scale but not necessarily the American scale

- I adore animals and nature very much (my favorite animal is an orca), and go out of my way to be kind, but have also developed the skill to never let a woman step on me emotionally

- I've got a British sense of humor from growing up on London

- I will go out of my way to demonstrate I care once I'm in that solid relationship

 

I am brainstorming ways to make myself more attractive, and recently updated my dating profiles with some pro photo shoot stuff.

 

I don't have the Brad Pitt face so therefore on OLD I'm close to the back of the line at the moment. How do I leverage these non-physical things on my dating pictures and shine better than what I'm doing?

[Mr. Lucky]

Why the focus on OLD? If you’re emphasizing the beauty contest nature of most sites, would seem you have a lot of great qualities showing well in person. Clubs, teams, meetups, volunteer organizations, etc., might be more fertile ground...

 

Mr. Lucky

[chillii]

Lots goin on there op

Edited January 14, 2019 by chillii

[grays]

A pic of you holding a smiling baby, maybe with a white coat and a stethoscope around your neck. You’ll have a full dance card.

[thefooloftheyear]

That stuff is great and a testament to your character, but if you don't have "it" then it doesn't really mean too much in the realm of attracting potential women..

 

But you have probably found this to be the case already...

 

I would just list that stuff in your profile....I would leave out stuff that may hurt you.....For example

"Taking care of kids for a living" would be the female equivalent of a guy saying its a boner killer about some characteristic unappealing to men.....You need to word that differently, it's not going to make most women feel like you have the type of strong character, more that you settled for a traditionally female role for a career...\

 

And don't be too wordy...Just say you like animals and nature...Saying "an Orca is your favorite" is something a child would say...Women looking at that may think your bedroom is filled with stuffed Killer whales and you have Free Willy pajamas you sleep in at night..

 

Sorry if you find my recommendations too harsh, but I am just trying to help...

 

TFY

[elaine567]

Trouble is, you are so self sufficient and have your life so well sorted and organised and "perfected" that the question needs asked - where does a woman fit in here?

What would her role in your life be?

What can she bring to your party?

If a woman does not see an obvious slot for her to fit into she may just avoid.

Women like strong independent men, but she needs to feel she is wanted and needed too.

 

It is why some women get attracted to losers and ne'er do wells, she sees her role as helping the guy do better. She brings her skills to the table to sort him out, she can then love, mother and nurture him to strive for higher things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

 

You, apparently do not actually "need" help, it is probably one of the reasons the nurses at your work pass you by too. They are looking for someone to help, to care for. Some guy who not only is a very clever "nerd", but has all other bases covered too, is not someone they see

they can do anything for.

I am not suggesting you start drinking every night and gambling your wages away, but listing more and more "accomplishments" may not help your cause any.

Just a thought.

[chillii]

TF has good points there.

Because remember , if there is anyway on Gods earth something can be twisted or misconstrued, the internet or in particular , date sites by 10 fold again , are where it happens.

 

 

Best leave no doors open to that stuff.

[Garcon1986]

Trouble is, you are so self sufficient and have your life so well sorted and organised and "perfected" that the question needs asked - where does a woman fit in here?

What would her role in your life be?

What can she bring to your party? {snip}

 

Elaine the most attractive thing a woman has ever done for me is to make my mind better. I was so turned on by a woman who got on a stage and talked to me about astronomy. I am searching so hard for this kind of person to improve my life. How do I express that in the way that these women will like?

Edited January 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[elaine567]

OK so the nurses you work with or any other "ordinary" woman does not float your boat, so yes you need to aim higher, I get it.

Edited January 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[Garcon1986]

I don't even have my heart set on an astrophysicist. If someone could talk to me excitedly about what she likes and have a really deep conversation about it, that would be amazing. My immediate social circle likes beer, football games, hunting, and mudding. I can't honestly bring myself to enjoy these things.

[JuneL]

When you said you speak 5 languages and play 9 instruments, how well do you speak and play? Do you know the slang terms or idioms in those languages well? Can you write an article on a serious topic in each of these languages? Do you perform in front of an audience of good musical appreciation skills in all those instruments?

[elaine567]

I don't even have my heart set on an astrophysicist. If someone could talk to me excitedly about what she likes and have a really deep conversation about it, that would be amazing. My immediate social circle likes beer, football games, hunting, and mudding. I can't honestly bring myself to enjoy these things.

 

You are in effect "slumming it" by hanging about with these people, who do not share your interests or your views on life.

You need to find a different bunch of folks, because people tend to assume that you are exactly like the people you socialise with.

[Garcon1986]

I can be self sufficient in Chinese, French and Spanish, and write well. I used to perform but can’t right now because of my work schedule. I know the idioms medium well but could use some work. I only have a basic knowledge of Greek JuneL.

[some_username1]

<snip>

"Taking care of kids for a living" would be the female equivalent of a guy saying its a boner killer about some characteristic unappealing to men.....You need to word that differently, it's not going to make most women feel like you have the type of strong character, more that you settled for a traditionally female role for a career...\

<snip>

 

Yep, I would strongly advise against advertising your career. Women don't appreciate anything nurturing/empathetic like that.

 

Research has found that the worst thing a man could put on his OLD profile (apart from obviously being like, serial killer or something) is that he did charity work. I don't get it either but y'know, women will be women...

Edited January 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Garcon1986]

Does saying I’m a full time cardiologist carry more physical appeal to it? That’s specifically how I take care of kids for a living.

[some_username1]

Does saying I’m a full time cardiologist carry more physical appeal to it? That’s specifically how I take care of kids for a living.

 

Probably miles better - you made it sound like it was child care and that could quite easily be interpreted as too much of a feminine career.

[gaius]

I don't think I've ever heard of a guy who was most turned on by a woman giving a speech about a particular topic. One of the many things I love about my wife is her intellect, and it's a huge turn on when I take her out and we have a long stimulating conversation over dinner, but I'm most turned on afterward when we get home and I get to touch, smell and see all of her.

 

I don't know if most women would even know what to do with a guy who prefers her talking about astronomy instead of buck naked.

[Mr. Lucky]

My immediate social circle likes beer, football games, hunting, and mudding. I can't honestly bring myself to enjoy these things.

 

You are in Mississippi, right? You'd obviously have a different experience in a more cosmopolitan setting.

 

Are you completing a residency or some other commitment on a specific timeline?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Garcon1986]

I don't think I've ever heard of a guy who was most turned on by a woman giving a speech about a particular topic. One of the many things I love about my wife is her intellect, and it's a huge turn on when I take her out and we have a long stimulating conversation over dinner, but I'm most turned on afterward when we get home and I get to touch, smell and see all of her.

 

I don't know if most women would even know what to do with a guy who prefers her talking about astronomy instead of buck naked.

 

I have simply tried out meaningless sex and don’t like it. I admire intellect just like you do. I have a 2 year graduate program in Mississippi. I absolutely like the physical stuff but prefer an intellectual woman to do it with.

[Rayce]

Does saying I’m a full time cardiologist carry more physical appeal to it? That’s specifically how I take care of kids for a living.

 

Would you be attracted to my profile it said... I'm a full time database developer? I agree with someone who said something about advertising your occupation. It's not a job search... it's a love search.

[Garcon1986]

I am a very literal guy so I am still learning how to look for love and share the best sides of myself in a dating context. Yes I would enjoy being with a database developer if the conversation went well.

[Rayce]

lol... ok fair enough. I am still trying to figure it all out too so hang in there.

[clia]

Most of these things can you can work into your profile either through the picture or description. Other things I don't really think are that important at the initial stages. You don't want to risk sounding too full of yourself, though.

 

Hi, I've got a unique set of assets that women will typically find attractive only after they get to know me, meaning -

 

- I speak five languages

 

I don't think this matters. I might think it was cool but wouldn't affect one way or the other whether I would go on a date with a guy.

 

- I am a science nerd

- I play 9 instruments

- I'm always looking for ways to make my life better, i.e. finding a better way to do things or shelving an old bad habit.

 

You can work this stuff into a profile description. The playing 9 instruments wouldn't affect me one way or the other, but if you want a musical type of woman, she might like that.

 

- I take care of kids for a living

 

I would assume you are a nanny. If you are indeed a cardiologist, then say you are a cardiologist. That should attract a lot of women. Maybe even work it into your profile name or title.

 

- I cook as well as some restaurants

 

This sounds vague and braggy, but you can say you enjoy cooking.

 

- I have very nice toned legs from biking. Working actively on the upper body.

- I swim and generally take care of my health

 

Show through profile pictures.

 

- I'll put a wasp in a box and bring him outside, rather than killing it

 

Eh, this sounds corny.

 

- I am attractive on the Asian scale but not necessarily the American scale

 

They can judge how attractive they think you are through your pictures.

 

- I adore animals and nature very much (my favorite animal is an orca), and go out of my way to be kind, but have also developed the skill to never let a woman step on me emotionally

 

The animal stuff is okay if you want to work that in, the rest sounds corny.

 

- I've got a British sense of humor from growing up on London

 

Show your sense of humor through your profile text; you can say you grew up in London.

 

- I will go out of my way to demonstrate I care once I'm in that solid relationship

 

Well, I hope so. No need to mention this.

[Garcon1986]

Im technically a graduate student so Im living in my means right now; well off is a few years away hehe

[preraph]

Garcon, you're a good guy and you're cute. As you know, being Asian and trying to date non-Asian is why your choices are fewer. Since you seem to like kids, why not tap into the single mothers? There's hordes of them. Have you done any music tutoring? Maybe you'd meet some that way. Otherwise, take a cooking class somewhere. Not a one-time thing. You need to have contact a few times with the same group. Join some other group. Go to church. Teach a class there. If you want to meet some mothers, join one of those charities that collects dress clothes and dresses kids who can't afford it for prom and other occasions. My friend used to do it and said it was her favorite. There's more to it than just dressing them. Finding clothing, finding donors, etc. I bet you'd meet SO many women. You might even give them a little pre-dance dance lesson. And it's not an every week thing. It's special occasions, so it's not constant volunteering. You'd have to google in your area to see if such a org exists and if not, maybe you can start one. You'd meet so many women. It can't hurt.