Hurtingguy Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Ok so I’m going to keep this short just don’t know how this happened So my ex and I where broken up for about 5 months we had limited contact throughout the break up and then about 3 weeks ago she came back to me said she still loves me and wanted to work things out and that she’s missed me and needed me and said she wants to be my gf again so I agreed and was very happy.. We went out a bunch of times had lots of fun eveything felt like it was back to the way we left of, we would talk all day again ft all night she kept telling me how happy she was that I didn’t stop loving her and that I’m still here to take her back ( she broke up w me) everything was going good and I couldn’t be happier.. Then last Monday she said she needed some space cause she was stressed out so I agreed then a couple days went by and the calls stopped the msgs where very faint and then all of sudden she says she doesn’t want this and the she had a weak moment and doesnt think she wants to be with me l, and then last. Hint I called to try and talk to her about it and she snapped said she hates me and doesn’t want me and that she was confused, why would she come back to me just to leave me again and break my heart all over again, I feel like it’s day one of the break up all over agai, feeling depressed and broken, how could I have trusted her to want us again l, why would she do this to me? I don’t understand she said she wants nothing to do with me and to not contact her again, eveything was going so good and then out of the blue she does this again I just need to know why Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 You might never really know why, OP. The point is that she is inconsistent and irresponsible with your feelings, and it's time to get off the roller coaster. Sadly, it's been going on a long time too, based on your thread about this from August: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/662691-over-forever-updated-2.html She isn't the woman for you. You won't find healthy, long-term commitment from here. Link to post Share on other sites
El Duendecillo Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 OP, you did this to yourself. You were moving on, then you fell for the age old trick of allowing your ex to breakup your new relationship by "wanting back" with you. It's obvious that she doesn't want to be with you any longer, but does not want to see you with anyone else. Despite the fact that you had met a new woman, and were supposedly happily moving on with your life, you dumped the new woman to get back with the ex. The same ex that according to you, dumped you for no good reason out of the blue. The same ex that let her friends disrespect and influence her behavior towards you. Look, unless you cut this woman out of your life and move on, this drama will continue. You have continually ignored the good advice given here to go NC with your ex, and predictably your reward is "heartbreak". Why don't you take some time and get over your ex, allowing yourself ample time to heal. Start by going no contact with her, and blocking her if that's what it takes. Stay single until you are truly ready to move on, and only then get backing into the world of dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Alas she doesn't know her own mind & you got hurt in the process. She probably learned that being single & having to weed through creepy incompatible guys isn't that much fun. She was feeling down & lonely especially after the holidays so she came back to you -- 'old faithful. You took her back with open arms. Unfortunately, whatever was wrong in your relationship before was still wrong. As much as she didn't want to be lonely, she wanted to be with you less. Write her off for good this time & focus on your own healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted January 14, 2019 Author Share Posted January 14, 2019 Alas she doesn't know her own mind & you got hurt in the process. She probably learned that being single & having to weed through creepy incompatible guys isn't that much fun. She was feeling down & lonely especially after the holidays so she came back to you -- 'old faithful. You took her back with open arms. Unfortunately, whatever was wrong in your relationship before was still wrong. As much as she didn't want to be lonely, she wanted to be with you less. Write her off for good this time & focus on your own healing. It’s not fair how can someone say they love you and feed you all this ba just to purposely hurt you again, I f did eveything for this woman I put up with all her bs throughout the breakup, I sat there while she dated someone else and waited for her to come back and then I take her back and it’s like I’m just a lice of trash she can just throw away without even thinking about it. How can people be soo f hurtful my heart hurts so much Link to post Share on other sites
AmyHershaw Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 I'm sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like she's playing games with you. She doesn't want you to move on from her, so she keeps implying that she wants you back only for her then to break things off with you. If she had any respect for you then she would let you move on. Although it might be painful, it is better to remove her from your life, you will be avoiding further heartache. Surround yourself with the people who love you and do the things you enjoy doing. One day, you'll find someone who will make you happy and never cause you to feel the way she has. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted January 14, 2019 Author Share Posted January 14, 2019 I'm sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like she's playing games with you. She doesn't want you to move on from her, so she keeps implying that she wants you back only for her then to break things off with you. If she had any respect for you then she would let you move on. Although it might be painful, it is better to remove her from your life, you will be avoiding further heartache. Surround yourself with the people who love you and do the things you enjoy doing. One day, you'll find someone who will make you happy and never cause you to feel the way she has. All the best. It wasn’t just implying tho she came to my house and told me she wants to be my gf again and us to work on things and have me move back home after us working on our issues Link to post Share on other sites
AmyHershaw Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 It wasn’t just implying tho she came to my house and told me she wants to be my gf again and us to work on things and have me move back home after us working on our issues Actions speak louder than words do. If she is saying she wants to be with you again, but doesn't act like she does then she doesn't. I had the same problem with my ex not long ago. It is better to avoid people like that who are giving you mixed signals, because it will confuse you. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Alas she doesn't know her own mind & you got hurt in the process. She probably learned that being single & having to weed through creepy incompatible guys isn't that much fun. She was feeling down & lonely especially after the holidays so she came back to you -- 'old faithful. You took her back with open arms. Unfortunately, whatever was wrong in your relationship before was still wrong. As much as she didn't want to be lonely, she wanted to be with you less. Write her off for good this time & focus on your own healing. I think this is a good read of what likely happened. It's unfortunate that the OP got hurt again, but to play devil's advocate, we sometimes reach out for something familiar in uncertain or lonely times. Then, when we are in a more stable state of mind, we realize that what's familiar isn't always what we still want. This girl sounds a bit naive and confused, so while her approach to break things off hurts, I think she herself just wasn't sure what she wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
SunFeel Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 People really do things like this ?!! Just stay single and don’t run back to that other woman because she was just a rebound obviously Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 The fact that she came back just to run away again shows that there was some more serious issue in your relationship which obviously not being shown here. Anyway, for whatever reasons, when somebody stops wanting us, we just let them do it. That's the formula. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Okay when a girl says "she was confused" It usually means she was confused about you and some other guy. I'll bet you dollars to donuts she was with someone else, or was interested in someone else when she broke it off. Chances are, that dude broke it off with her or he hit it and quit it and she knew that she had you waiting on the sidelines. She gets back with you, but other dude comes sniffing around and you are kicked to the curb again. Dude, she's playing games and I guarantee you, you will hear from her again down the line. Not to get with her, but to see if you hate her. Just ignore her and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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