Brianna Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 I am not too good at this dating stuff, I was married since High School and recently got divorced (thank god). Needless to say, athough I think I am attractive person, my confidence level is not so high. I recently started dating someone, we live about an hour and a half away. We have gone out on 3 dates and talk to each other quite often. Right now I am not interested in a serious relationship, since I just got out of one. I am really just looking for someone for friendship and intimacy. I am wondering this.... the person i have been seeing well i am definitly attracted to him but i am feeling that he is more interested in himself more than anything. The conversations seem to be onesided and mainly about him. I noticed that he never asks me any questions or starts any legitmate conversations. Although we could talk for a while, it seems to be me always starting the conversastion. Some friends of mine say "thats how men are" but it kind of aggrivates me. Do you think it is too soon to say anything about it to him, should I just end it, or should I give it some more time??????? thanks for your advice Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Well, since you haven't been dating for a while I'll let you in on some news. MOST people these days are more interested in themselves than anything else. You said you were interested in someone for friendship and intimacy. Only you can tell if this man is what you're looking for. I don't think I would want much of a friendship with someone who was only into themself. If you're like me, give him a few more chances and, if he doesn't change, dump him. As far as talking to him about this, I'll let you in on some more news. If you think for a minute that you can go around changing men into what you want them to be, you'll end up divorced again and again and again. It just ain't gonna happen. Once you get ready for a serious relationship, go find a man you can accept EXACTLY like he is...just remember, nobody's going to be totally perfect in every way. Link to post Share on other sites
Brianna Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 hold on a second.... i appriciate the advice but this is FAR off base. I would Never think of trying to change someone. I realize that most people are out for themselves. It just seems to me that if a person is truly interested in someone, they don't only talk about themselves, they ask questions.. Thats is what I was curious about... Since I am not that experienced in the dating thing I wanted to get some opinions from people. I have been told that this the way men generally are, they talk about themselves, just curious if it could be because this is new or if he is really that hung up on himself.. Thats all.. thanks again Well, since you haven't been dating for a while I'll let you in on some news. MOST people these days are more interested in themselves than anything else. You said you were interested in someone for friendship and intimacy. Only you can tell if this man is what you're looking for. I don't think I would want much of a friendship with someone who was only into themself. If you're like me, give him a few more chances and, if he doesn't change, dump him. As far as talking to him about this, I'll let you in on some more news. If you think for a minute that you can go around changing men into what you want them to be, you'll end up divorced again and again and again. It just ain't gonna happen. Once you get ready for a serious relationship, go find a man you can accept EXACTLY like he is...just remember, nobody's going to be totally perfect in every way. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 I will say there are men who do exist that don't talk about themselves all the time. You just have to find them. I suppose dating is the same these days as it always was...except a bit harder. If you meet a guy and he rubs you the wrong way, no matter what he does, just move on. That's the only way you're going to find the right guy for you. As far as myself goes, I hate talking about myself. I already know most of what there is to know about me so I prefer to ask about other people. I cannot relate to your experience with men who talk so much about themselves...unless they are trying to convince themselves about something. In that case, you really don't need them. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonflys Posted May 31, 2001 Share Posted May 31, 2001 Hi Brianna Well the good news there are plenty of guys that do not only talk about themselves. Forget about the gender stereotypes. Let this current guy go, or at least create some distance and if he doen't change, then let him go. It is clear that he does not make you happy. Have a positive attitude that there are great men out there and you will find them. Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
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