Jamess1 Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Now, I have no doubt she's been with other men in the time we've been separated, particularly given her motivation to leave me in the first place. In her defense, I've been with other women while she was away. Women are hypergamous, they seek better than they themselves and better than she currently has. When she was staying with her 'girl friends' she was with other guys, she wanted a divorce because she felt at the time she could do better than you (..no other reason). For some reason she expected options were shaken, maybe the guy she was interested in was not interested in her..so she seeks out Plan B. A woman who is into you dreads the word 'divorce', she can be nasty at times, but any strong indication you are leaving her, will draw her back : you ex suggested a divorce, she literally checked out..she wants you back because her affair guy didn't work out.. Don't eat your vomit like a dog, don't take 5 steps back each time you take two forward, if you take her back you will live to regret it... And start create better options with other nice and even younger women out there...and be intimate with them...a woman ask for a divorce after she has fully evaluated her next option fully, even sexually. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 I really appreciate your genuine response. Stewing over things never helped and only embittered me more towards the whole ordeal. I sought to empathize with her position and in doing so I ponder if the roles were reversed -- if she were struggling, would I have walked out? The answer is no. I can say that with great confidence and assurance because she suffered from multiple physical disabilities that caused strain to our relationship, and all I felt was great concern and fear for her. If I could do it, why can't she? I never balked at treatment; I never refused help. It just took a while to find the right one but by then it was too little too late. She saw the improvements but she said it was too late, she had nothing left. Now she's been gone for 6 months and only wants to return after she misses me? That's not right and I refuse to play it by those rules. Men love ideally, women love opportunistically. A woman can not love a man the way men love them, or they way men expect them too. A woman can not appreciate the sacrifices a man makes in making her life reality, deep down she believes she is entitled to those sacrifices for just been a woman, a woman can only evaluate a man for the 'now' : you can take care of her for 10 yrs and lose your job for 3 months and she can leave you...it's a very broad phenomenon that we have a name for it, 'female solipsism'. She can not remember or appreciate the sacrifices you made for her....never expect a woman to act in kindness because of the kindness and sacrifice you made for her in the past, she can not and she will not..women are not wired that way.. I don't say this to vilify women, their solipsism saves an evolutionary purpose, that insures her survival and that of her offspring : but men who don't understand this are the ones who try to kill their ex-wives who dump her when he gets injured at work for another man, soldiers whose wives left them after getting amputated, or just getting divorced for half of everything he owns and worked for when the kids get off to college, it's also very common that we have a name for it, 'divorce rape' Every divorced woman, blames her husband for the divorce, even the ones who where caught in the act... Connect the dots. . ... Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 I appreciate all the input from you guys. My resolve is pretty much fixed on the matter. I've made an appointment with a lawyer to get the ball rolling. I really did love her with everything I had despite my shortcoming, but anyone who would walk away after 10 years of unwavering devotion and utmost respect while trying everything in their power to fix ther personal issues isn't someone I can trust again. If she wanted a break for 2 weeks or something like that to get her head right, I would have been cool with it. 6 months isn't a break; it's a break up. I might as well stay single if the only person I can rely on 100% is myself. Anyway, I appreciate all the responses. You've all been helpful. You have made the right decision :: Men like you are rare! Link to post Share on other sites
Nosexleadstodivorce Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 He was also sexually abused. Yes, you are pathetic and you just proved it. I was very clear in acknowledging his abuse, but the fact is he still tried to put all the blame on someone else when he drove her to it. And reading between the lines I don't think he really tried to get serious help until this relationship reached a critical stage. Also, I'm going to take a guess here and say you are probably an asexual yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts