paddy666 Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 (edited) Hi all how is everyone doing? I hope you can help me. I have been with a girl and she might be cheating on me. We used to work together and I think she might be chasing with my former employer. I curently don’t work there as my contract has been terminated after I have asked her and him if it is happening. I do have a few proofs that suggest she used to have a sexual relationship with him before we started being together. They used to sneak out duringring lunch or after work for a quick sex. He is a married man with kids and I know his family well. His wife is a wonderful woman and I wanted to do right by her asking him about the adultery. Unfortunately I got sacked from work. Took them a few months to do it but eventually my contract has been terminated. Anyway this is the past I have a question about preset. So my GF is doing a few things I find weird. If you could read below and let me know what you think. - obviously she still declines that she ever slept with him and am not hopping to get her to confirm it even thou I have proof of it - she has all her notifications either turned off or just show which app has a new message - in the past I have found nude and rude selfies like closeups of vaginal and ass whole area and also I seen those being sent to people on Spachat. That was before we meet. This is to give you an idea about the personality she has. - she turns her location off, we use Find My Friends. She says her phone died but I know it hasn’t it is just in airplane mode or turned off. I do have a proof of it. - she speaks of my former employer in a rude way and get very very angry when I mention him to the point where she makes me feel guilty and I keep apologising to her. - she gets a lot of messages on her Instagram from guys - this is the weirdest one for me. She keeps coming back from work with those weird stains on her underwear. I asked her what is it she always says it is just vaginal discharge as she is coming on her period but she can get this one day and the next day there is nothing. She does get them sometimes when we have sex and I know she wasn’t having sex with anyone else on that day but she also get them when we don’t have sex. Thank you so much for you help. Please ask anything you want. Edited January 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator inappropriate Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 You may want to reconsider this relationship regardless if she is cheating or not. You are being very insecure and suspicious. Your "I have proof" comments make this relationship sound toxic, and not much fun. Those stains (gross) could be "I am horny" stains. When a woman feels aroused regardless of what she is doing, They can happen. Kind of like a boner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author paddy666 Posted January 15, 2019 Author Share Posted January 15, 2019 You may want to reconsider this relationship regardless if she is cheating or not. You are being very insecure and suspicious. Your "I have proof" comments make this relationship sound toxic, and not much fun. Those stains (gross) could be "I am horny" stains. When a woman feels aroused regardless of what she is doing, They can happen. Kind of like a boner. Thank you for the reply. Yes the relationship is not the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 she is not committed to you, but she must like you to keep seeing you Link to post Share on other sites
Author paddy666 Posted January 15, 2019 Author Share Posted January 15, 2019 she is not committed to you, but she must like you to keep seeing you Ok so you think she is cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 You clearly don't trust her. So make a list of pros & cons about staying together then act accordingly. Based on what you posted, I can't tell if she's cheating or not, but every behavior you mentioned has a rational explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 How long have you been together? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 this is the weirdest one for me. She keeps coming back from work with those weird stains on her underwear. I asked her what is it she always says it is just vaginal discharge as she is coming on her period but she can get this one day and the next day there is nothing. She does get them sometimes when we have sex and I know she wasn’t having sex with anyone else on that day but she also get them when we don’t have sex. Dude. When you're checking her underwear and analyzing her bodily fluids, you have to get a freakin' grip. This is not normal behaviour on your part. It's obsessive and extremely intrusive. What in the heck are you even doing there? Going through her laundry at the end of the day? You also need to learn about female physiology, as your knowledge is evidently very limited. Without getting too graphic, discharge can be caused for a variety of reasons, throughout our menstrual cycles. It doesn't necessarily happen only after sex or before a period, nor is it always the same in consistency. My advice? Break up with her. You don't trust her at all, and this isn't a healthy situation for either of you. There is no conclusive proof she is cheating on you, but when you lack trust to the degree that you're monitoring her underwear, your relationship is already dead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toomanyquestions123 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 " I HAVE A PROOF ". means you have big trust issues and you know she is cheating on you and is not the kind of girls you can trust yet you are only attracted to this type because of some mental issues... You are attracted to toxicity... the last one i dated used to talk a lot about his ex who used to sleep with a former manager, all the time he used to talk about her, he used to say he has " a proof " and used to send me a lot offff screenshots proving she was not loyal. I believe he broke it off with me to sleep with her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Here is what I read. I am a terribly insecure BF. I got fired because I was accusing people of adultry at the company. I stalk my GF to the point I inspect her underware. But the what is more concerning is your GF is putting up with your behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author paddy666 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 How long have you been together? Thank you for the reply, 9 months now. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I work for a big company, and rumors of affairs are very common. The majority of them never happened. People talk/ gossip, then assume, and before you know it morphs into some married boss is having an affair. IMO there are more important things to focus on in life than what others might be doing. You have a touch of the OCD/paranoia and it's taking over your life...making you lose your job, credibility, and you ability to trust others. How about you work on that. And no I don't think your GF is cheating....it's your imagination getting the best of you.....work on that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author paddy666 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 Here is what I read. I am a terribly insecure BF. I got fired because I was accusing people of adultry at the company. I stalk my GF to the point I inspect her underware. But the what is more concerning is your GF is putting up with your behavior. Why is her putting up with my behaviour concerning? Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Paddy, it is ok to leave her even if she isn't cheating. Just that she is acting shady is more than enough. You don't need to be betrayed to leave someone, they don't need to have a flaw for you to leave, it can just not feel right for you. Leave and work on improving yourself (self-worth, self-confidence, etc.) Find someone who loves and respects you and you will feel safe with. It doesn't matter if she is cheating, and if she is, I think you will be less damaged not knowing. When a future GF asks you why you broke up? "She didn't act very loyal or respectful, I suspected she was cheating or inclined to cheat and that was enough for me to let her go" Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Why is her putting up with my behaviour concerning? If my SO checked my freakin' underwear & then jumped to conclusions about my fidelity he'd be out of my life so fast his head would spin. That is what is concerning about her putting up with you. Yet, she is still with you while you blather on about your suspicions. You won't be happy unless you have her on video 24/7. Seriously if you can't trust you don't have relationship so what exactly are you trying to hang on to? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I would tell her to run as fast as she could! Red flags all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Why is her putting up with my behaviour concerning? Because your behaviour is creepy and most women would have dumped you immediately. She hasn't (yet) which tells me she lacks self-respect and is used to your inappropriate and invasive actions. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Why are you with her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Why is her putting up with my behaviour concerning? Because most women wouldn’t put up with some idiot causing problems with their career, inspecting their underwear and accusing them of bogus affairs. You might want to stop and think for a minute. If she is having a affair with her married boss, why does she need you around? I can assure you she will not put up with your insecurities much longer if you don’t change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rubix Cubed Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) You might want to stop and think for a minute. If she is having a affair with her married boss, why does she need you around? Seriously? If that was the case no married people would have affairs, they would leave first and divorce. It's called cake eating and it's the norm more than the exception. Boss is married with kids and not an option. Yeah OP, she's likely cheating maybe with the boss maybe not, but one thing is certain you need to move on ,find someone you can trust and work on your insecurities for yourself. Edited January 21, 2019 by Rubix Cubed 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts