Logo Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) I broke up with an ex who cheated on me a few years ago. I'm thinking of reaching out to her, just to see what's going on, if she's changed, if she's single. I haven't found anyone to be in a relationship with since then. We had an amazing relationship until it went sideways. I'm not placing the blame entirely on her. I missed the hints and the cues she was giving me about her needs. I should have kept my ear to the ground. Anyway I haven't even been intimate with a woman since then and things aren't looking up. Everyone is going to ask, why would you want to be with someone who betrayed you? Call me an idiot, but maybe that's the best I can do in this life. I'm at my wit's end. Reeks of desperation? Maybe. Edited January 16, 2019 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Sorry mate but l don't buy that one , she should've finished things with you first. Anyone should. But nope , on that alone l def' wouldn't be contacting her anytime soon. l don't even think l'd talk to her if she contacted me sorry. l know anything real is hard to find but in time we see it's around in abundance . Well , it took awhile for things to start happening but next minute for me when they did , it poured . Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Don't move backwards like this. Just because you haven't had much luck since her doesn't mean she is any more a viable prospect now then she was when she cheated on you. Chances are if you haven't heard anything from her in the intervening years, she isn't interested anyway. I would leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Not a good plan. You are getting desperate & you know it. Double down on your efforts to find her replacement but don't go backwards. You going back to her tells her that her behavior was OK & gives her the green light to keep cheating on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I broke up with an ex who cheated on me a few years ago. I'm thinking of reaching out to her, just to see what's going on, if she's changed, if she's single. So ... the message you'd be sending (and you can dress it up all you want with flowery words, but the message is still clear) that she can disrespect you in the most horrific way and you'll STILL be out there disrespecting yourself by hoping she'll come back to you and that she's turned into a better person. I haven't found anyone to be in a relationship with since then.And because you've been unsuccessful so far, you're willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel of your castoffs because being with someone who treated you with zero respect is STILL better than being alone. Kinda reminds me of smokers when they're out of cigarettes and they go rifling through a full ashtray hoping to find one butt that still has enough left on it to get a few drags off of. We had an amazing relationship until it went sideways. I'm not placing the blame entirely on her. I missed the hints and the cues she was giving me about her needs. I should have kept my ear to the ground. And now, you're blaming yourself for HER lowlife choice to cheat on you. Oh man. Call me an idiot.....I would gladly do that, but it's against forum rules and I don't want a demerit. But thanks for doing it FOR me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I don't know what to say on this one Logo Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 (edited) I agree with everything everyone posted. It was a momentary lapse of judgment. When the proverbial rain doesn't let up, things look less than ideal. It's not the being alone part, I got tired of being with myself most of the time. It gets old after a few decades. Things look better today though. Edited January 17, 2019 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
GinON Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Its like you enjoyed riding motorcycles once, but realized it was unsafe when you crashed. After a couple of years you are ready to ride again....and you go looking for the wrecked bike.... NO, get a new bike. Pardon the riding pun. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Glad to hear it logo , stay strong. Things will happen , it kinda seems we have to reach some unspoken point first but eventually the sun starts shinning again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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