Life spiraling at 24 - Depression, Anxiety and Reckless Behavior

[sunflowerandclouds94]

I'm 24 with major family issues. I basically finance myself with no help from family. I have a full time job that pays a little but not enough to live on my own. Not to mention I messed up bug time while working this job. I have issues with dating men, I have major anxiety, I'm temperamental and moody as well. My main focus in life is to finish school and get a nice career. That's all that I really want. But I'm homeless right now. I'm basically sleeping on friends couches at the moment which is very stressful. I can pay all my bills such as car, car insurance, phone and debt. I just can't afford an apartment/home.

 

 

My job right now I messed up really bad because I told everyone my life story. It's a small office. Not everyone knows about everything. I hooked up with my boss in which I regret because I hate his personality and having to look at it everyday sucks. I'm actively looking for jobs that pay more while working still. But it's hard when I stay with friends because I cannot stay there forever. I need help on what to do first.

 

 

Should I move jobs first?

I want to find a therapist but my insurance at this job doesn't start until next month. It hasn't even been 90 days. I'm stressing out so much that my body is deteriorating. I don't drink nor do I smoke. I'm as boring as can be but my life is crap. Idk how to turn it around and make it better. Any tips?

Edited January 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[snowboy91]

It sounds like you're going through a lot, really sorry to hear.

 

First things first - Maslow's hierachy says shelter is one of the most basic needs, so you need to get your housing situation sorted. What is it going to take to get that sorted? Is share housing going to be a problem for your mental health? On that note, is there any way you can negotiate staying with your friends long term and paying them rent? Is public transport a good enough option in your city so that you can do without your car and free up some cash?

 

The job situation - in what way did you mess up by telling your life story? If you feel judged harshly at work then it's not an environment in which you can efficiently work, so get yourself into a new role ASAP. If there is no way you can get a new place without a new job, this is your first priority, and your mental health will improve as well.

 

As much as finishing school is the dream, that's far less important than your health and wellbeing. If you need to take a break from school to get the rest of your life together, so be it. You'd much rather finish school late than not finish at all because you're couch hopping.

[MetallicHue]

I’m not sure where you live and how much your earning so it’s kind of hard to do the math. My suggestion is definitely in agreement with prior poster and find somewhere to live. You may want to consider broadening your job search. I know near me there are places that go for under 1k per month if you want to live in suburbia. You can draw up a budget in excel or even on pencil and paper to see what you can afford and minimum salary to afford a one bedroom. Definitely where you choose to live can have big impact on rent costs.

[sunflowerandclouds94]

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The job situation - in what way did you mess up by telling your life story? If you feel judged harshly at work then it's not an environment in which you can efficiently work, so get yourself into a new role ASAP. If there is no way you can get a new place without a new job, this is your first priority, and your mental health will improve as well.

 

As much as finishing school is the dream, that's far less important than your health and wellbeing. If you need to take a break from school to get the rest of your life together, so be it. You'd much rather finish school late than not finish at all because you're couch hopping.

 

Well I don't have a problem with house sharing. I wish I could do that. My friends are very accommodating and I try to give a little money when I can for them. When I get paid next I want to pay them but I can't pay them a lot of money is the thing. Regarding public transportation that's going to be hard. I have to have a car in the city where I'm located. We have buses but that won't help.

 

Regarding work. I messed up because I opened my mouth too much. I only speak to two coworkers there but I've already told them about my home situation. I told them about how I hooked up with the boss. Even though they tell me they've been there too doing stupid stuff I can help but feel bad that I actually told them. I'm actively trying to find new jobs but I have to still collect paychecks at my current role.

 

Yeah with school I guess I can out that to the side. I love school so much. I want a better paying job so that's why I go to school but it's so hard to pay that on top of my other bills at the moment. Like I have enough but like you said I'm couch surfing which is hard.

 

I'm looking into options and really trying to save as much as I can. I do feel that renting apartments is a waste for me though. I'm someone that wants to own something someday. But if I have to rent that's fine.

Edited January 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[sunflowerandclouds94]

I’m not sure where you live and how much your earning so it’s kind of hard to do the math. My suggestion is definitely in agreement with prior poster and find somewhere to live. You may want to consider broadening your job search. I know near me there are places that go for under 1k per month if you want to live in suburbia. You can draw up a budget in excel or even on pencil and paper to see what you can afford and minimum salary to afford a one bedroom. Definitely where you choose to live can have big impact on rent costs.

 

Yes there are a few places near me that are below $1000 but right now I don't have enough to back me up in case I lose my job. My goal was to save 6 months of rent first before I move out but that's kinda hard considering I slept with my boss. He doesn't care because well he just doesn't care but it makes it awkward for me even though I have no feelings for him.

[d0nnivain]

Start looking for a new job & get a part time job as well. Learn about budgeting. Make sure you shop around for your car insurance to get the best coverage for the lowest price. When you get to your new jobs, keep your mouth & your legs closed. Never sleep with the boss but if you are going to engage in such career suicide, at least don't tell the whole office.

[SunnyWeather]

Since you find such happiness with school, I'm going to encourage you to stick with it unless things become too unbearable. There are probably resources you can access as a student that might ease your burden. Visit the counseling center and make an appointment with a counselor. They might be able to connect you with housing opportunities, job listings and even some financial help.

 

You sound pretty resilient despite having had some hard times in your young age. Keep your goals in mind and know that any setbacks you may have now will not last forever. Forgive yourself, you made a mistake, but don't let that define who you are.

 

I wish you the best.

[sunflowerandclouds94]

Start looking for a new job & get a part time job as well. Learn about budgeting. Make sure you shop around for your car insurance to get the best coverage for the lowest price. When you get to your new jobs, keep your mouth & your legs closed. Never sleep with the boss but if you are going to engage in such career suicide, at least don't tell the whole office.

 

I feel like a slut and stupid and ugly.

I want to hurry and find another job and get away from the mess I caused. Sometimes I feel like killing myself because I'm dumb

[sunflowerandclouds94]

Since you find such happiness with school, I'm going to encourage you to stick with it unless things become too unbearable. There are probably resources you can access as a student that might ease your burden. Visit the counseling center and make an appointment with a counselor. They might be able to connect you with housing opportunities, job listings and even some financial help.

 

You sound pretty resilient despite having had some hard times in your young age. Keep your goals in mind and know that any setbacks you may have now will not last forever. Forgive yourself, you made a mistake, but don't let that define who you are.

 

I wish you the best.

 

I'm persistent yes because I fail a lot but I want to be successful. I will always aHave a job. I will always pay my bills. But I feel so stupid and ugly. I guess I'm a slut. Even though I've only slept with 4 guys in my life. My boss is the 4th person

[d0nnivain]

I feel like a slut and stupid and ugly.

I want to hurry and find another job and get away from the mess I caused. Sometimes I feel like killing myself because I'm dumb

 

 

Do not kill yourself. You are not a slut, stupid or ugly. You made a mistake & you are working to correct it. That's all anybody can ask. Meanwhile double your efforts to get out of there & onto a new job.

 

Once you right this ship & get yourself a fresh start things will improve. In the short term, put your head down & work.

[alphamale]

please see a good doctor as soon as you can. get screened for depression or bipolar.

[Mr. Lucky]

I feel like a slut and stupid and ugly.

 

I can tell you from the perspective of a few years older, that's a description of most of us at 24. We all made mistakes, whether romantic, lifestyle or career. As a human being, that's how you grow, and I'd bet at your next job you'll be more discreet with fellow employees and hands off with the boss. Lesson learned.

 

Also, the one who should be concerned about the encounter is your boss, not so much you. Most companies have rules against this and there's substantial legal exposure for managers involved with employees. Put this behind you and look to make changes in your life...

 

Mr. Lucky