LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Greetings, I need your feedback/advice, please. Started a new position earlier this year. My first day onsite I began my training with my Supervisor (male) and at first he seemed pretty decent. The first day he asked me some questions about my academic/work experience and we discovered that we both have two of the same credentials (one being a Master's Degree.) The second day on the job I noticed he came to work sort of spiffed up as he wore a men's dress shirt and tie, and his energy level appeared more upbeat. I trained with him and another Supervisor for the entire week before I worked with my first client, to which my Supervisor had to observe me. I noticed during my observation, there was a moment when my Supervisor appeared to be surprised about my performance (I received a positive rating) and there was even a moment that he began to hang his head, slumping his shoulders, followed by him staring into his cell phone. Needless to say, after this, I began working with clients independently but would have to get case reviews by Supervisors (mainly him) before submitting my work. I am on the learning curve and this field is new for me. However, I am a quick learner. I noticed that sometimes my Supervisor would try to belittle me when doing my case reviews. There was also a few times when he would completely ignore/avoid me and case review for someone else, leaving me to have to find another Supervisor for help (which was fine with me but frustrating nevertheless) He would also do this weird once over thing with my body, looking me up and down when I would stand next to him. Many times he made it blatantly obvious to the point where I would get flustered. A couple of weeks ago, we had to sit down to go over my progress, and again overall I received a positive rating as the number of clients I was seeing within a day went up significantly. However, I failed one management review (something very minute) and from the looks of his body language/facial expression, he seemed all too happy to deliver this news. I was visibly upset and I could see that it brought him joy. Shortly after that we sat down again and he told me that I was being transferred to another team and would have a new Supervisor (female.) He was watching me intently to see my reaction but this time I kept my poker face and secretly I had been hoping to be transferred to this particular team, so on the inside I was elated. When he delivered the news at first I was unable to conceal my joy and began grinning widely, and I saw his eyebrow raise and then I quickly pulled it back and stated in an even tone of voice "Ok. Not a problem." I had no questions for him. Nothing. He seemed shocked. I jumped up quickly and went back to my work space. The first few days of being on my new team there seemed to be an intense power struggle between him and my new Supervisor as he kept calling me back to his unit to help with cases and she would come down and send me back upstairs to her unit. I seriously felt like a ping pong ball. One evening, I saw him deliberately manipulate the client charts to give me the most difficult client to work with. Not a problem though, as I am a professional and struck up a nice rapport with the client and sent him on his merry way. I saw the surprise on my old Supervisor's face when I finished up with that particular client and he came over and started asking me questions to which I breezily replied "Oh everything was fine." The first day I got upstairs to my new unit I had a gut feeling that he would come up there...(he literally never comes up to this floor) and he did! He brought up a new employee to introduce to the team but I saw him watching me from my peripheral. Also, later that day he called my Supervisor on the phone and I could gauge by her conversation with him that he was basically telling her that I was not up to date on all of the systems, which then her tone of voice became louder and she replied "she knows what she's doing!" On my late nights he would hold a client chart just for me (and when I would arrive downstairs he would give me a smirk) when he could have given it to someone else since I would be upstairs on my new unit busy with my own clients. Things have died down in the last few days but here and there I still feel as if I have to watch my back. He's been back up to my unit a few more times and he makes it a point to walk past my desk. I also caught him staring at me from behind his phone one night and I got creeped out. I sometimes wonder if he can't stand me/hates me. Whenever he has tried to make small talk I would brush him off and walk away or refocus him back to the work at hand. Just last week he called my Supervisor to tell her that I made a mistake on client chart. WTH? I guess what I am asking is, should I document some of these incidents? What do you make of his behavior? Overall, I think he's harmless but I feel he's mad at me for some reason. My current Supervisor revealed to me that she fought to get me on her team. I know this is not all in my head? Anybody out there deal with a similar situation? How did you handle it? Sometimes I think the transfer may have been a blessing in disguise. 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Mr. Lucky Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Anybody out there deal with a similar situation? How did you handle it? Sometimes I think the transfer may have been a blessing in disguise. Speaking bluntly, you've already given it more thought in your (well-written ) post than I would in my entire career with the company. You've not only survived the selection and training process, you've landed on your feet with a team you feel comfortable with. Be cordial and neutral in your encounters with him and focus on mastering your new position. Less office politics, more job skills... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 While I agree that you don't want to dwell on what this individual too much I don't think it would hurt to document his odd behavior. It's weird because in some ways he's acting like he's been jilted but he never actually came onto you so I don't know what his problem is. Maybe he thought you would be some needy stupid woman who would look to him for guidance and approval. Perhaps he had some fantasy where he was going to mentor you and you were going to admire him and his great knowledge. Instead you were fast learning competent employee who didn't really need him for much and that has angered him for sone reason. Many many years ago I had a job where there was one male supervisor who liked to torment the female employees. He was always critical, always finding fault, even going so far as to make up new rules in his head so that he could more reasons to criticize and complain. I soon learned wby he had issues. His wife worked there too and she was openly hostile to him. She had a deep contempt for him that she openly displayed and he was submissive to her. When she spoke to him in sneering tone she used with him he would just agree with her and walk away like a dejected puppy. Clearly he was taking out his resentment on the female employees who had to at least pretend to respect him. So I don't know what's ailing the supervisor in your situation. It's probably not personal, he likely has his own issues, but I would document just in case he decides to really make life hard for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 You are both highly educated. My suspicion is he sees you as a threat and wants to keep you under his thumb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 I guess you are right. I do tend to overanalyze and fail to see the positive in these situations. Perhaps the transfer was a blessing in disguise. Speaking bluntly, you've already given it more thought in your (well-written ) post than I would in my entire career with the company. You've not only survived the selection and training process, you've landed on your feet with a team you feel comfortable with. Be cordial and neutral in your encounters with him and focus on mastering your new position. Less office politics, more job skills... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 Thank you, anika99. Like your ex-Supervisor, this one appears to be personally troubled as well. He tries to put on a good poker face but I can see that he's extremely insecure. A few weeks ago he walked right past me and was mumbling to himself under his breath in a very strange manner. He didn't even see me. Looks like he had a lot on the brain. You are correct in your assessment that he probably thought I would be some clinging vine. Nope. Sometimes I often wonder if he thought that I would come onto/flirt with him. Nope. I'm a professional. I'm so over guys getting upset with me and trying to punish me when I don't turn out to be what they expect. While I agree that you don't want to dwell on what this individual too much I don't think it would hurt to document his odd behavior. It's weird because in some ways he's acting like he's been jilted but he never actually came onto you so I don't know what his problem is. Maybe he thought you would be some needy stupid woman who would look to him for guidance and approval. Perhaps he had some fantasy where he was going to mentor you and you were going to admire him and his great knowledge. Instead you were fast learning competent employee who didn't really need him for much and that has angered him for sone reason. Many many years ago I had a job where there was one male supervisor who liked to torment the female employees. He was always critical, always finding fault, even going so far as to make up new rules in his head so that he could more reasons to criticize and complain. I soon learned wby he had issues. His wife worked there too and she was openly hostile to him. She had a deep contempt for him that she openly displayed and he was submissive to her. When she spoke to him in sneering tone she used with him he would just agree with her and walk away like a dejected puppy. Clearly he was taking out his resentment on the female employees who had to at least pretend to respect him. So I don't know what's ailing the supervisor in your situation. It's probably not personal, he likely has his own issues, but I would document just in case he decides to really make life hard for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 And yes, I have been documenting. Thank you. While I agree that you don't want to dwell on what this individual too much I don't think it would hurt to document his odd behavior. It's weird because in some ways he's acting like he's been jilted but he never actually came onto you so I don't know what his problem is. Maybe he thought you would be some needy stupid woman who would look to him for guidance and approval. Perhaps he had some fantasy where he was going to mentor you and you were going to admire him and his great knowledge. Instead you were fast learning competent employee who didn't really need him for much and that has angered him for sone reason. Many many years ago I had a job where there was one male supervisor who liked to torment the female employees. He was always critical, always finding fault, even going so far as to make up new rules in his head so that he could more reasons to criticize and complain. I soon learned wby he had issues. His wife worked there too and she was openly hostile to him. She had a deep contempt for him that she openly displayed and he was submissive to her. When she spoke to him in sneering tone she used with him he would just agree with her and walk away like a dejected puppy. Clearly he was taking out his resentment on the female employees who had to at least pretend to respect him. So I don't know what's ailing the supervisor in your situation. It's probably not personal, he likely has his own issues, but I would document just in case he decides to really make life hard for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 Yes. I will just continue to be cordial. The less interaction I have with him the better. You are both highly educated. My suspicion is he sees you as a threat and wants to keep you under his thumb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I think you are handling it fine. Just keep your documentation off site. Doing good work & being cordial is the best course. I agree with whoever said he sees you as a rival. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Yes, document anything that seems unusual (off-site like Donivain said). There's no harm in documenting because you'll review it and you'll think "Meh, there's nothing there," or you'll see patterns of disturbing behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 20, 2019 Author Share Posted January 20, 2019 Thank you. Yes. I will document off-site. I think you are handling it fine. Just keep your documentation off site. Doing good work & being cordial is the best course. I agree with whoever said he sees you as a rival. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted January 20, 2019 Author Share Posted January 20, 2019 Great idea. Yes, document anything that seems unusual (off-site like Donivain said). There's no harm in documenting because you'll review it and you'll think "Meh, there's nothing there," or you'll see patterns of disturbing behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
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