Hurt My Heart

[kgal]

Things were going really well all week... we were talking every night for at least an hour to one another. Our conversations were open and honest.. we had alot of fun chatting. His phone was turned off though... so even though he had a calling card and did call me once.. he's been acting like he just wants me to talk to him online. Tonight, I went online but he wasn't on so I left him some messages anyways. Later on, I got on again and he sent a hello. I was mad because he waited all night to talk to me.. he didn't call.. and I found out right before talking to him that my cell bill was outrageously charged for no reason. I was mad .. and let him know it. He immediately started changing subjects and ended up cutting our convo short stating he had to get to bed and work tom. Well... tomorrow is Sat.. he never works weekends!! He is either hiding something or he is being a jerk.. or both! He said a few things that really pumped me up and got my blood boiling. Ugh.. why is it that he can't just be "Mr. Perfect" all the time!! It was like he didn't even care tonight. I was just hurt. I am just so mad...I have to go to bed, but I cant stop thinking about it or crying over this.

[Brown eyes]

Ugh.. why is it that he can't just be "Mr. Perfect" all the time!! It was like he didn't even care tonight. I was just hurt. I am just so mad...I have to go to bed, but I cant stop thinking about it or crying over this.

 

Its alright. Dont worry too much about it. Relationships are all about building and growing. You have to go through the good and the bad. No relatinship is perfect, LDR or not, your going to make mistakes, your going to say things you dont mean. Its all part of working in a relatinship. No one said it would be easy. Make sure to tell him your sorry, I am sure it will mean a lot to him. if he loves he he welcomes you back with open arms.

[kgal]

I did say I was sorry and I told him I was mad. He never gave me a chance to tell him how I'm feeling. I feel like Im getting the "silent treatment" now... and it all just stinks. He owes me an apology for how he's treating me, I think. I will try to just stay calm over it all and hopefully he calls tonight or something, so we can talk.

[d'Arthez]

I clearly have a different impression on your relationship, than you do, kgal.

 

Things were going really well all week... we were talking every night for at least an hour to one another. Our conversations were open and honest.. we had alot of fun chatting.

You only know about your honesty. His honesty is what you assume.

His phone was turned off though... so even though he had a calling card and did call me once.. he's been acting like he just wants me to talk to him online.

That is strange. Why does he need a calling card, and can't call you in a non-itemized-bill way? And why "talk" online, if you can have the added bonus of hearing your loved one's voice? It makes no sense - unless of course money was real tight. But I doubt that that is the case. Nowadays, if the both of you have decent speed internet connections, there are many alternatives available, which are much more interactive than just chatting.

 

and I found out right before talking to him that my cell bill was outrageously charged for no reason.

Find out what the cause was for that. Solve that issue, and don't ignore it.

 

I was mad .. and let him know it. He immediately started changing subjects and ended up cutting our convo short stating he had to get to bed and work tom. Well... tomorrow is Sat.. he never works weekends!! He is either hiding something or he is being a jerk.. or both!

The changing of subjects can work, but it did not work - leaving you with frustrations in the conversation. Generally that is not a good idea - especially if you are not having face-to-face conversations.

The working on Saturday seems a bit odd, to say the least. Perhaps he wants to take a break from talking with you, because you were so mad? It could be. The only way to find out, is to talk about it with him, and not assume this or that.

 

He said a few things that really pumped me up and got my blood boiling. Ugh.. why is it that he can't just be "Mr. Perfect" all the time!! It was like he didn't even care tonight. I was just hurt. I am just so mad...I have to go to bed, but I cant stop thinking about it or crying over this.

Because he is human. No one can be perfect all the time. I don't know whether or not he cares deeply enough about you or not. Even in online relationships you can have arguments, or pick up fights, have misunderstandings, feel that you have had enough for a while. Try not to think of it as the end of the world, when something like that occurs, once in a while.

 

The silent treatment is of course a childish way of him to deal with the issues, and problems the 2 of you encountered. But are you certain, that you are not construing a grandiose idea of him, whilst in reality he is no different from other men?

[kgal]

"That is strange. Why does he need a calling card, and can't call you in a non-itemized-bill way? And why "talk" online, if you can have the added bonus of hearing your loved one's voice? It makes no sense"

 

He's staying with friends right now.. so I'm assuming he doesn't want to run up their phone bill. Something that is weird though is that he's in Washington.. but called me from a phone that had a Georgia area code. I can only assume his friend had a cell from there.

 

I found out why my bill was so high.. and it turns out they are charging me a pending contract fee. That will dissapear just as soon as I pay my bill.

 

"The only way to find out, is to talk about it with him, and not assume this or that." I would love to but he won't talk to me!

 

I know he's not perfect... I've even been online each night since Fri to talk to him.. but he doesn't reply. The reason I'm upset is b'cuz I know he's cheated on his ex wife and that just bothers me. I try not to let it get to me.. but this guy has a past history of "playing around" and I'm not up for that! He's told me he would never cheat.. but when my gut is telling me that he might be.. I tend to listen to that over the outside influences.

 

I guess I"ll just forget it... leave him alone and see what happens. It beats stressing.. I have to work, I can't carry around this problem anymore, it will eat me up!

 

Thanks for replying.

[whichwayisup]

Was just going to say that. Back off, let him do his thing. Obviously by him not answering your questions and wanting to talk has made him clam up. See what happens when you give him time to himself. Maybe then he'll realize he's being a dink and talk to you.

 

OR...Just email him how you feel and that you won't put up with this crap. He owes you the respect and honesty you've given him and if he can't find it in himself to give you that courtesy, then maybe it's time to end things.

 

Good attitude to have, don't let this eat you up! He certainly isn't and the less energy focussed on him right now the better off you'll be.

[kgal]

Whichway,

 

I appreciate your post. You couldn't be more right! I've thought about emailing him to tell him how I feel. To be honest, I would rather wait to tell him over the phone instead.. that way he can't beat around the bush and he'll owe me an explanation right then and there. Emailing just gives him time to put me off and make me more frustrated by waiting on his reply.

 

This has happened in the past.. and everytime I leave him alone, he comes back.. acting as if nothing has happened. Perhaps he just wants to take a breather or time to himself. We did talk every night for at least an hour or more for the past week. I don't want to pressure him to communicate.. but I wonder why he wouldn't just want to talk to me on his own. Afterall, he says he loves me.. don't ppl who love one another enjoy talking all the time? I have never once been sick of his company or put off an entire weekend w/out talking to him. He's either hiding something and is letting me know by his actions.. or he just wants time alone. I don't understand.

 

Anyways.. yeah.. I have to work and I can't go out in public being all friendly when deep down I want to just have a tantrum because of the way he's been treating me.

[StacyRose]

My bf used to be that way and kind of still is. You have to give him room to breathe, period. And, don't get mad until he cheats on you or acts like a complete jerk. My bf rarely wants to talk on the phone, or chat. So, I accept that and do my own thing. We're still planning a future so it's not like he's running away. As long as you know you'll be together in the future, the present doesn't matter so much.. do your own thang

[kgal]

Well.. isn't a sudden change in behavior something to question? I mean... I remember how this just started a few months ago. His PC was down these past few weeks and he was more available for me. Now that his PC is up and working, he's been distant. It only leads me to believe that he is A) interested in someone else (maybe that he met online) B) Too busy with work (which I highly doubt.. he has always talked to me while working) or C) Just needing "space"... which I don't argue with. All I want is for him to tell me or let me know.. so I don't have to sit here and ASSUME all these things.

 

My gut tells me he needs space.. so I guess I'll keep doing what I've been, and cut back on communication. Ugh..

[Jadey]

Im sorry but..Why dont you just ASK him whats going on?! Thats the problem in alot of relatonships these days, Not enough communication! You can either sit here all week, month, whatever, wondering if hes met someone else and doesnt like you anymore or you could straight up ask him what the problem is. You dont have to do it in a mean way, be nice but be honest and straight. Tell him if he cant be honest with you what are ythe chances that your relationship will last and be a good one? Cos IMO if he cant be honest and open up their probably isnt much luck there. Of corse thats just MO! Seriously just ask him, be honest about your feelings.

 

Good luck

 

Jade xx

[kgal]

Im sorry but..Why dont you just ASK him whats going on?!

 

 

I have.. but he won't reply or answer me. I don't know what else to do but just give him more time.

 

Thats the problem in alot of relatonships these days, Not enough communication!

 

We communicate all the time... he's usually the one to back off, though.

 

You can either sit here all week, month, whatever, wondering if hes met someone else and doesnt like you anymore

 

LOL I have been!

 

or you could straight up ask him what the problem is.

 

You dont have to do it in a mean way, be nice but be honest and straight. Tell him if he cant be honest with you what are ythe chances that your relationship will last and be a good one? Cos IMO if he cant be honest and open up their probably isnt much luck there.

 

I agree!

 

Of corse thats just MO! Seriously just ask him, be honest about your feelings.

 

I will, as soon as he comes online or gives me the opportunity.

 

Good luck

 

Thanks!

 

Jade xx

 

Thank you!

[Jadey]

No problem

 

You asked him yet?

[kgal]

No problem

 

You asked him yet?

 

I have been trying to get a hold of him since Saturday. Last time we talked was Fri. night.. he was very short and I felt snubbed on messenger. I was having a bad night.. and he didn't even stick around a few extra minutes to console me, like he has in the past. He didn't act like he wanted to hear it.. or talk to me. Like I was some kind of noussance!

 

Anyways... last night I wrote him another email. I don't know why he hasn't tried to contact me. Do men usually run and take the easy way out.. how fun is it for me, to leave me hanging and wondering what's going on? He did say he would never leave me in the dark if he ever met someone else.. that he would tell me. So.. I'm just wondering what in the world is going on here!!