Depression, guilt

[MeadowFlower]

Sometimes since the 'breakup' I have a feeling inside my chest. I've had it before. I have guilt. And maybe a touch of depression.

 

How have you dealt with mild depression and with guilt? Please share. And if you are currently going through some sadness, depression and/or guilt, please also share.

Edited January 22, 2019 by MeadowFlower

[d0nnivain]

I was first diagnosed with depression more then 25 years ago. It ebbs & flows. Mostly its just something I am aware of. Sometimes it's so debilitating I have trouble leaving the house or functioning. At those bad times I seek help.

 

I have learn a number of coping mechanisms over the years . . .breathing, mindfulness, mediation, prayer, exercise, keeping a gratitudes journal. Mostly I know movement helps. I have to force myself to get up & get out. That can be very hard.

 

Hang in there.

[Beachead]

Hey Meadowflower,

 

I do a few things for depression. This can apply for managing guilt as well.

 

1. Music's my thing so I spend a lot time just creating music that mellows me out. Or I will listen to it. I like instrumental music. It's not influenced by lyrics. What it means to you is unique. Also, I'll also listen to ASMR to help relax me in the nights.

 

2. I stay active no matter what. I know it helps boost my mood, if even for a few hours.

 

3.I also write a lot. A few people in the past told me that there is something about writing that really helps you focus better and so I listened and it's helped me in my life. There's usually 3 things I do for it. I'll free write my thoughts onto paper. I won't format it. It's a passage just for me to freely express. Whatever comes to mind I write. Whatever I want to talk about, I write. The second thing I do is I'll focus it on something I want to accomplish and I'll start working on a plan to get there by writing out goals. I get real specific with the goals and how I want to accomplish them because it helps me stay focused on it. All my pain and energy, I put into it. Lastly, I write 2 things that I look forward to in the day and 1 thing that I am grateful for in life.

 

4. I'll balance my time between a social life and being alone. I need both but in moderation. I'll come on here and talk to people who remind me that I'm not alone as well.

 

Overall, like Donnivain said..it's with me all the time and I have to manage it daily. Some days are worse than others and some days I feel okay. Regarding guilt, what happened in the past, happened. I can't change it. I know who I was back then, isn't who I am now. I know in my heart, I've never intentionally done anyone wrong and I've always given the best I can. I can sleep knowing this and that's why I continue to be that way in my life. Bu we all make mistakes. We're not perfect and we never will be. Only thing we can do is to learn from the past and to work on becoming a better us, for tomorrow.

 

 

- Beach

Edited January 23, 2019 by Beachead

[MeadowFlower]

@Beachead, unlike you and other people, I don't have that peace regarding things I've done bad.

I'm not sure if you saw I PMd you, you don't have to reply of course and have your own life.

 

I do write things on my phone that bother me. I need to take some action on attempting with the help of my mum who is my friend, to get some form of sorted on the bad things I've done and said in relation to my 'ex'. And to come to, probably won't be completely, a sorted place. And a semi-peace.

[MeadowFlower]

I was first diagnosed with depression more then 25 years ago. It ebbs & flows. Mostly its just something I am aware of. Sometimes it's so debilitating I have trouble leaving the house or functioning. At those bad times I seek help.

 

I have learn a number of coping mechanisms over the years . . .breathing, mindfulness, mediation, prayer, exercise, keeping a gratitudes journal. Mostly I know movement helps. I have to force myself to get up & get out. That can be very hard.

 

Hang in there.

 

You hang in there too :-)

[d0nnivain]

Since you are still beating yourself up about certain things, is there a concrete way for you to make amends? Even if the other person doesn't accept your apology, you may be able to forgive yourself & achieve more peace knowing you tried.

[divegrl]

Hi Meadowflower!

 

I have missed you! I so enjoyed your posts when I first joined LS. I have experienced these feelings as well. Here is what I know to be true.

 

Guilt-you are living life in others expectations of what you should do.

 

Sadness- shows the depth of your feeling. The depth of care for others on this world.

 

Just sit with these emotions and let them be. Don’t judge yourself for having them. Just feel the physical sensations in your body. Once you notice the emotions, they will start to soften.

 

Sending hugs to you today! We are in this together.

[MeadowFlower]

If I come to a place of peace or satisfactorily to me peace re some things, then it may be better to some extent.

[The Dude Abides]

Hello MF

 

I have also had anxiety and depression to some extent for decades. I never knew that is what it was because I truly had no knowledge of anything to do with mental health issues. It never occurred to me that I had anything "wrong" with me. I finally started to do something about it and have been visiting a psychologist. It has been incredibly helpful to unburden myself of many many things that have been stacked up inside my head for decades. I grew up around some "old-school tough guys" (father, grandfather, etc) and the lesson I learned was that I just needed to "man-up" and deal with every painful thing that came along in life.

 

Well, I made it to this point in life and realized I couldn't keep it all inside any longer without profound affects on my health and mental well-being.

 

You asked specifically about guilt. I have been unloading the guilt I have about certain things including the things I did wrong with my first marriage. It has been quite helpful to get an unbiased viewpoint about what I feel like has been causing me guilt. One thing I can say about myself is that I am brutally honest with my presentation of the facts and I think my psychologist has sensed that I am not giving a slanted rendition of what occurred. As such, she is able to make comments when appropriate and let me know , for example, that something I did was totally understandable given what I was going through at the time.

 

Yes, I know there is a risk in this approach, given that the psychologist might be the type to tell her patient what he/she wants to hear. But Im certain that isn't the case and I have grown to have confidence in her judgment and insight .

 

So, to the extent that you can seek professional help and find someone who will truly be unbiased and help you evaluate what your culpability is for a given issue of guilt, you might just find that those burdens will be lifted . Taking the load off from some of the guilt will allow you more time and mental energy to devote to helping yourself with the blue feelings that you are experiencing.

 

Another thing I have learned is that for me, medication isn't that helpful. But behavioral changes such as have been detailed above by other LS members can and do incrementally help with mood and sense of being at ease. Eating well, getting more sleep (it's sometimes hard to get more sleep!), getting some exercise in the sun and fresh air....all seem to help me get better.

 

I will stop back here to check your thread and will offer my hope that you are feeling better soon. You already have others here who are checking on you so every little bit of positive interaction with others will help you along.