Struggling with fact I left potential love behind

[Air20]

Hi,

 

This situation isn't really a break up, but it was something I initiated and I guess my feelings of regret are akin to those who have actually broken off relationships.

 

I quit my job last month and left the city I was living in. I’d been planning on quitting for a while, as it was unfulfilling and making me physically ill. I also have a conditional offer to study a Master’s degree abroad later this year. During my last month there, I went on a few dates with a guy who I really liked. It was the first time in a long time I actually clicked with a date. He liked me too, it was just so typical we seemed to meet at the wrong time. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship and I keep torturing myself thinking I should’ve stayed around longer. I could've withdrawn my resignation. By the time I handed in my resignation, I'd only met him twice.

 

I know I could meet someone else, but what if I don’t get that chance?

 

One factor in quitting at the time I did was because I wanted to be at home during Christmas with my family, now I’m thinking how ridiculous that was, when I could’ve come back to visit any time.

 

One positive of leaving is that I am feeling better physically due to less stress.

 

However I do keep imagining that I’m with him, happy together and it’s killing me inside. I try to reassure myself that it might not have worked out anyway, he does have one or two flaws like me. I could’ve ended up leaving anyway for the Master’s degree. Circumstances did play a part in me leaving, and I know you have to look out for yourself.

 

I just can’t help thinking I’ve thrown away my only chance of love. I always brood and look back on the past, imagining what would have happened if I’d done things differently. I should be happy as I’m back home where there are more opportunities and people, but I can’t help thinking back to what might have been.

 

Any advice/ thoughts greatly appreciated thanks

[preraph]

The chances that it would have worked out like how you're able to imagine are almost nil. Follow the path that's right for you and find love along the way. If it was going to turn into anything, this guy will keep in touch and come see you.

[loversquarrel]

I'll give you another possibility...my wife had an opportunity to move for a fresh start in her career. She chose me instead and has never looked back. It's been 11 years and we are very happy. In my humble opinion, jobs, careers, and education are all things that will always be easily attainable, love with the right person...not so much.

[d0nnivain]

It was only potential love. It wasn't a relationship.

 

You were already accepted in the Masters program & you already quit your job before you met this guy. Your life was going in a direction & then he shows up. If it had meant to be, he would have arrived sooner or you two would have been strong enough to maintain an LDR during the time you were studying. You would not be the 1st couple or the last to be temporarily separated by school.

 

If you really want to try with this guy, reach out & make arrangements to go back where you were living when you met. Go on a date. Talk to him about an LDR. If one of you is unwilling to do that & the only tie you had was geography, this isn't the "one who got away" it's a guy who wasn't meant to be.