AestheticLifestyle Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Been talking to this girl for the past month or so, we've vibed and had a connection that I've never really felt before. It was apparent she was feeling the same and things were going perfect. She was introducing me to close friends, roommates, other people around her, etc, etc. She would also surprise me with cute little things out of the blue and just show a true compassionate side. Then out of the blue, she implied that we had been spending too much time together (had spent most of the weekend together but we had dates planned and other stuff and they all went perfect). Two or three days after she tells me she's not ready for a serious relationship right now? (We never talked about becoming exclusive, never really had a feels talk, everything was just natural). Told me she doesn't usually jump into things this fast and its just not like her. I'm beyond confused and not sure where things went wrong when they were still perfect like 3 days ago. Is it possible that she got scared of how fast she was falling and backed off? Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 1/ Why did you "talk" to her for an entire month, why didn't you ask her out? Been talking to this girl for the past month or so 2/ Unless we can read people's mind like Professor X, you should not so quick to project your interest level into her. It was apparent she was feeling the same and things were going perfect. 3/ Somewhere along the process, you lowered her interst level in you by (I assume) being needy and clingy without you even noticing it. Is it possible that she got scared of how fast she was falling and backed off? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 You got too close. She bolted. It's her not you. Let her go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 It seems you both want different things. You are not on the same page. Either slow down or move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AestheticLifestyle Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 1/ Why did you "talk" to her for an entire month, why didn't you ask her out? 2/ Unless we can read people's mind like Professor X, you should not so quick to project your interest level into her. 3/ Somewhere along the process, you lowered her interst level in you by (I assume) being needy and clingy without you even noticing it. We went on multiple dates, I meant talking as in we were seeing each other. She was fairly straight forward with how she felt and judging off her actions and words, she saw a future with me. We gave each other a lot of space, we’re both independent, both have our lives but we ended up hanging out a little too much lately so maybe that’s why. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 this is typical female behavior...time to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Sounds like you have gotten demoted from Plan A to Plan B. Don't settle for it. You sound younger - cool off and play the field (or at least adjust to the idea of someone else - reel back those notions of Mrs. Forever). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AestheticLifestyle Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 Sounds like you have gotten demoted from Plan A to Plan B. Don't settle for it. You sound younger - cool off and play the field (or at least adjust to the idea of someone else - reel back those notions of Mrs. Forever). Hopeless college romantic lol. Just seemed like everything was going wel. Didn’t expect to become the plan B since she seemed so involved and introduced me to everyone around her. Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 (edited) Actually 99% when something fails, it's the guys' fault so we should make that clear to OP so he won't make the same mistakes in his next relationships. It's her not you. OP, serious question: Did you have sex with her? Edited January 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge Link to post Share on other sites
Sgthaytham Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Been talking to this girl for the past month or so, we've vibed and had a connection that I've never really felt before. It was apparent she was feeling the same and things were going perfect. She was introducing me to close friends, roommates, other people around her, etc, etc. She would also surprise me with cute little things out of the blue and just show a true compassionate side. Then out of the blue, she implied that we had been spending too much time together (had spent most of the weekend together but we had dates planned and other stuff and they all went perfect). Two or three days after she tells me she's not ready for a serious relationship right now? (We never talked about becoming exclusive, never really had a feels talk, everything was just natural). Told me she doesn't usually jump into things this fast and its just not like her. I'm beyond confused and not sure where things went wrong when they were still perfect like 3 days ago. Is it possible that she got scared of how fast she was falling and backed off? Simple, she felt smothered and ran. You were probably acting really needy. Link to post Share on other sites
Sgthaytham Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 You got too close. She bolted. It's her not you. Let her go. It has almost everything to do with OP. He clearly smothered her too much, and like anyone who feels under too much pressure, she legged it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AestheticLifestyle Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 It has almost everything to do with OP. He clearly smothered her too much, and like anyone who feels under too much pressure, she legged it. Definitely didn't smother her, if anything it was the complete opposite. She was surprising me with cute little things, offering to always pick me up if I needed a ride from a party to make sure I got home safe. The list goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Relationships that start fast and got hot and heavy from the beginning tend to burnout just as quickly. Take a lesson from it and next time around set the pace and slow it down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Two or three days after she tells me she's not ready for a serious relationship right now? (We never talked about becoming exclusive, never really had a feels talk, everything was just natural). Told me she doesn't usually jump into things this fast and its just not like her. I'm beyond confused and not sure where things went wrong when they were still perfect like 3 days ago. Is it possible that she got scared of how fast she was falling and backed off? This is a BS excuse, been there, had that done to me, never turned out well for me emotionally. I'm not bashing people who aren't ready, just that people who aren't ready have no business leading someone on. When I broke up w/my ex, my heart was shattered. I took a couple months off dating anyone because I wasn't ready. She doesn't want to be w/you and doesn't want to reject you. Tell her you understand and then date other women. This really isn't fair for you at all and will be very hurtful. More then likely nothing will come out of this and she will eventually drop off your radar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Desperatelyconfused Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Revolutionary idea - how about taking her at her word. The relationship is moving too fast for her so slow things down. From what you wrote, she hasn't ended it with you she just doesn't want to move this fast. So slow it down. Stay in contact with her, ask her out, see her when she wants to see you. It's a new relationship, see where it goes. it's only been 1 month, you aren't ready to play house yet. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Actually 99% when something fails, it's the guys' fault so we should make that clear to OP so he won't make the same mistakes in his next relationships. OP, serious question: Did you have sex with her? Lol, there's that 99% guys at fault figure again. Where are you getting this from? Do you think just maybe they might have different views on where they want to be right now? That figure is seriously over generalizing. Op, you're in college, don't worry about it and either next her or go at her pace. Link to post Share on other sites
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