Is this cheating

[Thomashiggs208]

I met someone a few weeks back now and had an amazing couple of days with them. Slept together and we really liked one another. We agreed to meet up to see each other again but a month after.

 

As much as it was really great time i didn't see us actually meeting again. I thought that was nice but it will probably just fizzle out. I was going with flow if it happened then it happened. We would keep un touch.

 

Anyway about three days after meeting the first person i met someone else. Had an great time with them. Slept together and went our seperate ways the next day. We said we would try and meet up one day but i knew at the back of my mind that was unrealstic. But we message each other here and there. Just seeing how each other is doing.

 

Problem is when i was with the second person the initial person i had met said they can meet up and made arrangements to do so.

 

At that point i thought oh they are serious about this. I was excited about seeing them again so knew i had to end my current situation with this other person.

Since then myself and the orginal person have fell in love. We are so alike and they really changed who i am. After that second person I have not met anyone else, and kept myself to myself.

But i feel guilty and told the second person about the first. I don't know why as we don't speak much. They look at this as cheating. Yes we liked each other but it never went any further. They think i should tell the first person.

 

No discussion about exclusivity was made between me and the first person when we first met. I couldn't see how we could have had that discussion anyway at that point we had only just met. Bit full on as may never have seen them again.

So what are your thoughts on this. I should have never saud anything to the second person.

[FMW]

It's not cheating if you didn't make any promises to each other (in either case) or discuss or have any agreements about seeing other people or not. The second person is hurt because they had expectations that didn't have an actual foundation.

 

It's up to you whether you tell the first person about what happened with the second. I don't feel you have any obligation to do so, because again, there were no commitments or agreements.

[d0nnivain]

I don't think it's cheating because you had no commitment to either. I think it's crass that you told 2 about 1. In 2s shoes I'd walk away because you are indiscreet. However 2 also told you she thinks it's cheating. So it doesn't matter what we think; 2 wants nothing to do with you as is her prerogative.

 

If you are going to multi-date, learn to keep your own counsel & don't tell multiple women that you are sleeping with others. Don't lie to them & tell them they are your only. Just say nothing. Any modern person with half a brain will assume that means there are others.

[Thomashiggs208]

Thanks Finding my way .

 

I need to discuss the exclusive status when i see the first person again. There was a point later on a few weeks after meeting them i realised something there was there between us. So i have just kept myself to myself.

 

d0nnivain, i agree it was not a very intelligent thing to do.

 

I was being overly emotional with this at the time and did use logic to think.

 

I have to live with it. I have never done this before and i am angry at myself for this. But you learn things from this.

[Mr. Lucky]

So what are your thoughts on this. I should have never saud anything to the second person.

 

 

Of course you shouldn't have said anything. And if there's any overlap in social circles, that indiscretion could come back to haunt you.

 

Nothing for you to feel guilty about regarding person #1. And you don't know what she might have been up to while you were with person #2...

 

Mr. Lucky